Family member visitation

[Itsasmallworl]

Looking for some advice. My nephew and his girlfriend had a baby. They were only together for about 5 months when she got pregnant. She is 22 and he is 27. They decided to keep the baby. They both live at home with their parents. Now that the baby is here the mother refuses to let my nephews family see the baby unless we go to her parents house. We understood going to the house when the baby was first born but she is now weeks old and a lot of the rest of the family would like to meet the baby. Does anyone know what legal rights we have? Any advice would be appreciated. We are a very close knit family and our hearts are breaking because we cannot see and love this precious baby unless we are with her family.

 

[kit10grl]

Sorry to sound harsh but I'm pretty sure you don't have any legal rights to visitation. There was talk of a grandparents right to visitation being brought in but the rules around that were to prevent a grandparent who had already been a major part of a babies ife suddenly being taken away, and im not sure if it was ever passed.

In this situation you really are at the mothers discretion. And it doesn't sound like she is being too unreasonable, she hasn't said you cant visit. I can imagine from her point of view that if she isn't very familiar with your family she might feel quite nervous about being round a lot of people in a strange setting. In familiar surroundings she will feel a bit more in control. Particularly if she is breast feeding. she can excuse herself to feed if she needs too. In a strange place it then becomes an issue of approaching an unfamiliar person and how they feel about you feeding there.

Try to remember she is just a nervous FTM and not trying to be spiteful. If you are patient and help her feel comfortable now she is more likely to be open to better access later. If you try to rush her she will be more inclined to cut access altogether

 

[Dream.dream]

I don't know about the rest of the family but the uk, USA and Canada I know for sure have grandparents rights laws so they can get visitation for sure and mom can only argue it of there are legitimate safety concerns .

I baby is breastfeeding I can see why she might not want to go to the dads families house it might be uncomfortable but if not the grandparents can always get visitation rights and the rest of the family can meet baby then .

Might be best though to try and work it out with mom then to cause a huge conflict , depending on how new baby is I understand why she might not want to be apart from him/her

 

[Ceejay123]

I'm sorry but I think she's being reasonable. I doubt she's comfortable with the family after only being with your nephew for 5 months . You say he's 'weeks old ' .. For a parent that's not very old. I know my family would jump through any hoops to see my child.

Grandparents can apply for rights to contact, but they only usually get them granted if they can prove the child will be harmed by them leaving their life / that they have had a contribution to the child's life.

I think you'll have to wait until your nephew has his child unsupervised,until then I'd agree to see him with the mother present. I'd take what I Can get while he's so young.

Sorry if that sounded harsh x

 

[Becky61]

Hi,
I'm not sure what legal rights you have, but in my opinion, the mother is doing what she feels comfortable with right now, and I would go along with this for the time being.

Are you a mum? Its just I didn't feel comfortable leaving my little one with his own father (who I had only known 6 weeks) until he was 3 months old, even then, it was in MY house whilst I popped out for a while. Mainly because I breastfeed my son. Is your nephews ex breastfeeding? This still causes complications 7 months on, for me and my ex, as my son only goes 4 hours between feeds and expressing is painful.

Whilst this baby is so young, I would accept that the mother wants to be near by. After all, they have been attached for 9 months, and suddenly she is sharing the baby with the whole world and its mother! If you are more willing to co operate now, without legal battles, I expect the mother will be more open to giving you access later (and may even welcome it so she can have a break!)

I'm sorry to sound negative.

x