I know this is perdominantly a female forum due to it's nature but both men and woman are affected by loss. I know for a female It's on so many more levels as it's both emotional and physical and I'm not trying to undermine that. I just think it's a shame I've yet to come across any other males willing to share.
so i thought I'd start a thred for any male stories. Or if any females have stories of how their OH's have coped.
when My OH found out she was pregnant I was over the moon, we had been talking out it for about a year and properly thinking about it for 6 months. Honestly when all the dust settled I was starting to feel abit aprihensive, as in, can we afford this are we really ready etc but the more time went on, the more I wanted our child. between weeks 12 and 19 i was full of optomism and ready to start a real family. but at the 20 week scan that ideal had started to faulter with a few simple words. "low amniotic fluid" and "no kidneys found" . A sonographer specialist came in and found the kidneys but said they weren't functioning. the following weekend felt like forever as we waited for a secondairy confirmation scan at a specialist hospital, and when we where finally seen things just fell apart. it had gone from 5mm fluid to a blunt none and definatly no kidney function.
the amount we then discussed, felt, shared and cried felt like years in the space of 2 weeks. to think we had to make the descission to stop our little daughters heart is agonising but I know we did it to protect her. If she had of survived a birth (2% chance) she'd have been struggling untill she finally did pass away. It's a horrible possition for anyone to be in and to know what my OH had to go through, and for me to not be able to protect her from it broke my heart.
this happened 3 months ago, and to think where we are now. It's like it's a bad dream but still fresh aswell. But on the other side of it My OH is pregnant again and she's on a rollercoaster of emotions, strangely I've had very few worries. almost an overwhelming sense that things will turn out fine this time, and I'm trying my hardest to keep her optomistic and support her however i can
so i thought I'd start a thred for any male stories. Or if any females have stories of how their OH's have coped.
when My OH found out she was pregnant I was over the moon, we had been talking out it for about a year and properly thinking about it for 6 months. Honestly when all the dust settled I was starting to feel abit aprihensive, as in, can we afford this are we really ready etc but the more time went on, the more I wanted our child. between weeks 12 and 19 i was full of optomism and ready to start a real family. but at the 20 week scan that ideal had started to faulter with a few simple words. "low amniotic fluid" and "no kidneys found" . A sonographer specialist came in and found the kidneys but said they weren't functioning. the following weekend felt like forever as we waited for a secondairy confirmation scan at a specialist hospital, and when we where finally seen things just fell apart. it had gone from 5mm fluid to a blunt none and definatly no kidney function.
the amount we then discussed, felt, shared and cried felt like years in the space of 2 weeks. to think we had to make the descission to stop our little daughters heart is agonising but I know we did it to protect her. If she had of survived a birth (2% chance) she'd have been struggling untill she finally did pass away. It's a horrible possition for anyone to be in and to know what my OH had to go through, and for me to not be able to protect her from it broke my heart.
this happened 3 months ago, and to think where we are now. It's like it's a bad dream but still fresh aswell. But on the other side of it My OH is pregnant again and she's on a rollercoaster of emotions, strangely I've had very few worries. almost an overwhelming sense that things will turn out fine this time, and I'm trying my hardest to keep her optomistic and support her however i can
