fear of FOB

[rjb]

so i am absolutely PETRIFIED of my FOB.
and i posted about it once upon a time,
and then i got offline.
but.
i dunno. it stresses me out soo much.
because when i go to athens
i'm so scared he'll come to my house.

 

[AyaChan]

 

[QuintinsMommy]

 

[Jo]

If you are that scared of him, go to the police hun, maybe you can get a restraining order.
Sorry don't know the back story to this, but you can't live your life scared

 

[vaniilla]

I agree with jo, no one has the right to make you live in fear, go to the police and make sure something gets done

 

[rainbows_x]

I agree hun, go to the police.


xxx

 

[Croc-O-Dile]

Sadly, going to the police isn't always the easiest or best option, as I've come to find out. You can't file a TRO unless you're 18, you'd need a parent to file it for you. But unless they've had a "personal relationship" with the person they most likely won't be able to file for it either. From what I understand this is a nation wide law, so it's not likely to vary from state to state. (And I take it you're from Georgia the state, not the country, correct?)
I'm not trying to be a downer or anything, I'd just hate to see you go through the same thing that I'm currently going through.

But the ladies are right, you shouldn't need to live in fear. I have my entire pregnancy and I 100% regret not doing anything about it sooner as it's ruined the last few weeks of my pregnancy.
If he comes to your house, call the police. Don't let him inside, but don't you go outside either. Yell from a window for him to leave, and if he doesn't then the police can pick him up for trespassing. There are certain restraining orders you can only get after you've met certain requirements. So, if that happens than you may be able to get some kind of order of protection being as the cops would have already had to intervene.

My worst fear when it comes to FOB finding me is that he'll break into my house while everyone's asleep and he'll have me cornered in my room. So I started keeping a kitchen knife in my room for "protection." (I couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a person. But it makes me feel better for when my cats make noises at night and I swear it's him coming to kill me in my sleep. )

I'm sorry you have to go through this. If you ever need anybody to talk to, you can always PM me.

 

[AriannasMama]

I think an order of protection is easier to get than a restraining order, I had to get one awhile back against an ex, and the DA explained it to me but I don't remember why anymore. I would talk to either the police or the family and children services in the court houses to see if there is anything you can do.

:hugs"

 

[Croc-O-Dile]

I think an order of protection is easier to get than a restraining order, I had to get one awhile back against an ex, and the DA explained it to me but I don't remember why anymore. I would talk to either the police or the family and children services in the court houses to see if there is anything you can do.

:hugs"

Yeah, it is. There are certain requirements you have to meet though and I know they vary by state. So I didn't want to give her the wrong information regarding that. kwim?

 

[PleaseBaby]

I think you should go to the police anyway just so theres some sort of record that your scared of him (obviously there would need to be a reason)

Btw Happy due date croc-o-dile x

 

[rjb]

we have a restraining order because the police have had to take action previously, and also because he was more than a year older than me and it was considered statutory.
but the restraining order won't stop him.
he's said himself,
he's been to jail and he isn't scared of going back.

 

[Croc-O-Dile]

Ah, I wasn't aware there was already action taken.

Well the good thing is that cops do take violation of a restraining order very seriously and he would be put in jail right away for making any contact with you. If I were you, I'd try not to stay home alone too often. Just in case, you know?

Something else you may want to check into is self defense classes. I studied Tae Kwon Do for about 2 years and it not only got me in the best shape of my life, but it also made me feel a lot safer and like I could defend myself if need be. I'm going to be taking it back up once I have Olivia, and I may also take some weapon defense classes as well. (learning how to defend yourself at gun point, etc)
I think it would really benefit you, both physically and mentally.

 

[rjb]

Ah, I wasn't aware there was already action taken.

Well the good thing is that cops do take violation of a restraining order very seriously and he would be put in jail right away for making any contact with you. If I were you, I'd try not to stay home alone too often. Just in case, you know?

Something else you may want to check into is self defense classes. I studied Tae Kwon Do for about 2 years and it not only got me in the best shape of my life, but it also made me feel a lot safer and like I could defend myself if need be. I'm going to be taking it back up once I have Olivia, and I may also take some weapon defense classes as well. (learning how to defend yourself at gun point, etc)
I think it would really benefit you, both physically and mentally.

he definitely contacts me. through messages, and he calls all the time, but i just ignore them. is that part of a restraining order? because idk how it works. i HATE being home alone. it really scares me. and can i still take those classes when i'm pregnant?

 

[OnErth&InHvn]

if your RO says "No contact" it means no contact- phone, internet, coming by, etc. If its specified, then thats what it means "no contact within X yards"- means he can stand across the lane and be fine but if he steps into your area, he broke the RO...(im paraphrasing, but i hope you get what i mean).

 

[Croc-O-Dile]

If you have a restraining order against him and he's contacting you in any way, shape or form he's breaking the law and can be put in jail. The police never explained this to you? Unless there's some kind of restraining order that only protects you from physical contact. But I'm pretty sure there isn't.

And unfortunately no, you can't take the classes while pregnant. TKD is a form of martial arts and weapons defense is physically straining. So you could hurt yourself or the baby doing either one of these.

EDIT: Apparently there is a RO that is only for physical contact, unless I read OnErth&InHvn's post wrong.

 

[rubixcyoob.]

I'm confused. Did you not move away from your home town and into your sisters quite a bit away and you didn't have a computer and stuff there for anyone to contact you?

What has FOB done to make you feel scared of him? Just curiosity.

If you're that scared of him I'd go to the police and ask a relative to go with you in order to make sure something is done.

 

[Desi's_lost]

Do your parents know that he still contacts you? Maybe it is time for a new number.

 

[rjb]

I'm confused. Did you not move away from your home town and into your sisters quite a bit away and you didn't have a computer and stuff there for anyone to contact you?

What has FOB done to make you feel scared of him? Just curiosity.

If you're that scared of him I'd go to the police and ask a relative to go with you in order to make sure something is done.

i come home weekends so my sister can have a break :\

and he's... i really don't like talking about him tbh.
but he's got violent tendencies to say the least. and severe anger management.

also, the police didn't talk to me about the RO at all. they'll only talk to my mom.. >.<

 

[rjb]

Do your parents know that he still contacts you? Maybe it is time for a new number.

they know, but i don't think they willing ot get me a new number.

 

[rubixcyoob.]

Ask your mum about the RO then? Or go to the police and ask? I doubt they can just turn you away since this is about you after all.
And if you parent's aren't willing to give you a new number why not contact your service provider and have the number blocked from contacting you.