fear that is always in the back of my mind

[callmedan]

i have this really big fear that when the time comes, im not going to be able to have a baby
i worry about fertility problems, early menopause, all kinds of things..
this month especially ive been having lower stomach cramps, hot flashes and feeling quite forgetful and dizzy and im convinced im going in to early menopause... im only 22! and i know these arent pregnancy symptoms as im on the pill (microgynon 3rd cycle after the implant)
ive told my OH about these fears and he just tells me not to worry and i know he thinks im being daft but i cant shake the fear!
is there any tests i can have to check this or anything i can do? im worried if i went to my gp he would just laugh in my face because of my age and im not even TTC yet!

 

[lovetocruise]

I have really been struggling with these feelings lately too! TTC is in just a few more weeks, and the closer I get, the more I panic! I have no reason to think we will have problems, but I have this nigging feeling in the back of my head that says we won't have it easy. I so hope I'm wrong! I am the most impatient person I know, I don't know how many BFNs I can take before I start to panic.

 

[LouOscar01]

I know exactly how you feel. I am so paranoid. I'm 23, both my cousins TTC after the age of 30 and both are infertile and nothing helped.
Terrified it will happen to me. I'm convinced I have PCOS so I worry about that.
I don't know what I would do if I can't have children. I went to my doctor and he said there was nothing we could do to test until I was TTC.

 

[callmedan]

angie thats how i feel! even when i do start TTC im scared of getting a bfn i know is not really likely to get a BFP first month but if I dont i know ill freak out.... im going to try and make myself wait at least 4 months (which will be around this time next year!) before i start panicking so we will see...

louoscar how awful for them! and only at 30 thats like an average age for TTC! i feel so sorry for them
im the same, if i couldnt have children... i just really dont know if i could cope thats what scares me so much

 

[callmedan]

oh and thanks for the replies ladies, obviously im not glad you feel this way too but im glad im not the only one xxx

 

[LouOscar01]

Yeah, the worst bit was that the second cousin only found that out because she offered to be a surrogate for the first cousin

I will panic when I don't get a BFP first time even though I know that's ridiculous. I feel exactly the same as you callmedan. x

 

[callmedan]

aww thats so sad, are they from the same immediate family?

 

[itsnowmyturn]

Last year I was tested for early menopause, they just take some blood or u can buy menopause detection tests from some shops, if ur in the UK wilkos sell them. It's the same as opks and hpt that it detects a certain hormone. It's unlikely u have anything to worry about but I completely feel ur anxiety. I worry because I have endo but I try to think that Il cross that bridge when I get there if I need to

 

[callmedan]

Thanks, it's such a big worry because it's literally something that you can't do anything about might try Wilkos although I would be scared of the result...

 

[SoBroody91]

I worry about this as well, I've got no reason to, but I always think what if! My OH. just says what will be will be and we can't change it.
But in the back of my mind I think I want a baby more than anything, and I'll be crushed if I can't
But yes, you are not alone!!

 

[lovetocruise]

Honestly, I think part of our problem ladies, is that we stalk the TTC boards too much. IMO, these boards are not an accurate representation of the number of women that do not have trouble conceiving. I honestly believe that the majority of the women who post to the TTC boards are the ones who are TTC for an extended period of time.
I bet there are many more women who don't take the time to visit and post to TTC boards because they do not need to TTC too long before they are successful, so we don't read too many stories of the women that conceive in the first couple of months. It taints our minds to think that all women have one problem or another, so we end up paranoid and pessimistic.
Does that sound crazy?

 

[LouOscar01]

aww thats so sad, are they from the same immediate family?

Yeah sisters, so no Grandchildren for my Aunt and Uncle. Really sad. She has always been desperate.

My sister had cervical cancer and was told she wouldn't be able to have anymore children, but she had one more.

My Mum was told it would be very hard for her to have children because she ahd an inverted womb. SHe fell pregnant twice straight away at the ages of 38 and 41! So there is light at the end of my tunnel!

 

[SweetPotatoPi]

i have this really big fear that when the time comes, im not going to be able to have a baby
i worry about fertility problems, early menopause, all kinds of things..
this month especially ive been having lower stomach cramps, hot flashes and feeling quite forgetful and dizzy and im convinced im going in to early menopause... im only 22! and i know these arent pregnancy symptoms as im on the pill (microgynon 3rd cycle after the implant)
ive told my OH about these fears and he just tells me not to worry and i know he thinks im being daft but i cant shake the fear!
is there any tests i can have to check this or anything i can do? im worried if i went to my gp he would just laugh in my face because of my age and im not even TTC yet!

Hi callmedan. How long have you been having the hot flashes, dizziness, etc.? I am now actively fighting what I believe to be hormonal imbalance (estrogen dominance/low progesterone) and once I took those steps I've been feeling worlds better . The dizziness, hot flashes, forgetfulness that you describe were but some of the many miserable symptoms I was dealing with.

Maybe once you come off the pill your hormones will straighten out? I'm a lot older than you and was only on the pill for about a year some time ago in my early twenties (around 21 or so?) and for me that helped my issues; I didn't care for HBC though and got off that train. So in a little bit of a different place than you lol but just thought I'd share. Before starting Vitex the only other times I've felt so good have been during the pregnancies with my boys. GL! And I hope you get some relief for what's ailing you.

 

[MrsMandy]

Really not alone! I'm petrified I won't be able to conceive!
I have 2 sisters one whose husband only has to look at her and she's pregnant, and one who struggled for many years without success with unexplained infertility (but now has 2 beautiful adopted girls who mean the world to our family!)
I've been on the pill for 10years due to irregular periods (though i remember i used to get a pain in my side that we put down to ovulation - hoping I still get that and it might be helpful!?) so I just have no idea how I'm gonna fair when TTC - I want to do my best to not put any pressure on us and essentially just be NTNP for the first year, and if nothing happens then I'll start being a bit more scientific about it!
But deffo have The Fear!!!

 

[tverb84]

I'm worried about that I'll run out of time to have children or won't have them at all.

 

[angiepie]

Same here, although my fears are somewhat valid because I have PCOS.

 

[Hollynesss]

I think every woman has this fear on some level. I have a friend who eats extremely healthy, exercises every day, has regular periods, and it took her and her DH 10 months to conceive their little boy. Then there is my sister in law who is very obese with PCOS and she conceived both her son and daughter on the FIRST try! The human body is so weird, and the process is so different for everyone. Nobody wants to be in that group of statistics that have problems, but all we can do is prepare our bodies as best we can, BD a lot, and hope for the best!

Even though I have completely regular cycles, my charting shows a distinct ovulation pattern every month, and I get the normal ovulation and period symptoms every month, I have yet to get a positive OPK, and that freaks me out. This right here is what makes me worry most that we'll have trouble conceiving. I know that there are many factors that can go into something like that, but it would be lovely to see the result I'm supposed to just as a reassurance!

This is why I love this site, though, because we can support each other and vent to other ladies who are going through the exact same thing

Callmedan, even if your doctor looks at you like you're crazy, never be afraid to express your fears and ask!! I had to educate my own doctor on what an AMH test was (can you believe that?!) and insisted he order it on me even though we weren't TTC yet. I am glad I did because my results made me feel tons better!

 

[_Meep_]

Join the club - ever since I came off the pill, my cycles have been a tiny bit irregular (anything from 28-32 days so far) and I've managed to convince myself that I'm having an early menopause and God knows what else.

I find myself Googling every tiny symptom I think I have to the point that it's become almost an obsession, like 'Sneezed twice - symptom of menopause?' ... Ok, I'm not quite that bad yet, but I have investigated 'vivid dreams', 'easy bruising' and other stupid things, all of which have come up as being symptoms of the menopause.

I've come to the conclusion that EVERYTHING can be a symptom of the menopause, that bodies are crap and Google is a worrier's worst enemy. Stay away from it at all costs!

I do feel your pain, though. It's so hard not to be anxious about it when you want something this badly.

Your time will come. Hopefully mine will too. :S

Meep. x