Fear

[Bubsta]

Well, I had my DD 5years ago. I could cope with labour.... Until I was induced (failed to dilate). That's when (for me) I knew what pain was. It was constant. I'm not good with pain. After about an hour and a half, I requested an epidural...which happened to be the same time DD heart rate dropped and I had to have an EMCS. Excluding concerns for DD (I couldn't really comprehend that at the time) I was so relieved for the pain to stop and that the labour process was over.

I'm going for a VBAC this time around, but to be honest I am starting to question my choice. My OB has said that LO will be a 'good size'... I'm 32wks and bubs is already 2kg (4.4lb). If my fear was just induction, then I would suck it up and just deal with it... But I also have a fear of assisted delivery...as in forceps etc. I don't know why I have this fear. It's just so daunting and scary. Not for me, but for bubs. So now I'm scared that he might get stuck or shoulder dislocated, or weird head shape etc.

My OB would be fine if I elected a c-sect, but I think the better choice for my baby is to try for a VBAC. (I'm on meds that would apparently be best for baby to try and labour instead). I want to do the best for my baby (obviously) but I'm shit scared tbh.

Can anyone give me some reassurance about any of this? Be in that personal experience with assisted delivery was fine.... Or having a bigger baby doesn't mean assisted.... That induction isn't necessarily as bad 2nd time around.... I don't know.... I just don't want to keep questioning VBAC. please help convince me to stay VBAC.

 

[Eleanor ace]

I haven't had an assisted delivery so I can't help on that front, but I had an induced labour with a large-ish baby (9lb 15) and it was great! I don't have anything to compare it to (yet!) but the pain wasn't too bad (I did have gas and air for some of it though, from 7cm until I started pushing) and although pushing took a while (2 hours) that was due to him coming out with his hand by his head and my narrow pelvis, it would have been the same even if he was small.

 

[rayne22]

I can understand your fear of pain--when i was pregnant that was ALL i thought about and it didn't do me much good when it was time to deliver. I was induced 4 wks early due to high blood pressure/protein in urine, and after pretty much 3 days of being in pain with back contractions, my daughter was born. My body wasn't pushing her out, you could see her crown, but then she was stuck so after pushing for almost three hours, they used forceps. She had little marks on her head from the forceps but nothing serious. Her head wasn't mishapen. She was perfect. Two of my other friends had forceps used on their babies and nothing serious happened to their babies either. She wasn't a huge baby either (well, for being 4 wks early-I guess she was), she was 7 lbs, 11 oz. So even if your baby were smaller, it all depends on your body's ability to push it out.

 

[berniegroves]

I had a 15 hour labour with 3 hours of gas and air. DD was back to back which made it more tricky and after 2 hours of pushing they used forceps.
It wasn't ideal but then not many labours go to plan.
But me and DD were both perfectly healthy.

I think understanding the technical parts of what my body was doing and that the pain was just a muscle trying to work etc really helped me through the labour. I would close my eyes breath slowly and try to relax my body from the shoulders down during each contraction.
And whilst I didn't want intervention the only birth plan I had was 'I will have my baby in whatever is the healthiest and safest way' and that is what happened.

Try to be open minded about your labour. Try for a VBAC as a vaginal birth is an unbelievable experience and if you or your baby need intervention it's only for the best.
X

 

[Meg26]

When my little dude was born my doctor had to use the vaccum as my son got stuck and i was unable to push him out quickly enough so i ended up having a third degree episiotomy and the use of the vaccum. My son had a cone head for three months, it was funny looking but eventually went down and he has no issues from it. Its completely safe says my doctor. I live in the country and the docs out here are fabulous for not rushing anything, no unnecessary induction or assistance. I had my son at 8lbs 0oz completely natural delivery (no pain killers). I wouldnt worry too much about assisted delivery like that because in mu experience they wouldnt do it unless it HAD to be done to keep the baby safe and sound.

 

[daydreaming22]

I share your fear and experience. I wanted a natural labor but ended up being induced after a severe car accident. I made it 5 hours on the pitocin before begging for an epi. Unfortunately for me, the epi failed (twice) and I had no pain relief. You are right...its constant and I thought my body would go into shock before it was over. I ended up delivering vaginally, but I think if the epi had worked I would have ended up with a c-sec. I was sooo motivated to end the pain I pushed for my life!

I think opting for a v-bac is an excellent choice, but its yours to make. Maybe talk to your Dr about assisted deliveries. I told my OB absolutely NO forceps or episiotomy unless it was an emergency. Near the end I was scared bc her heart rate was dropping, but they just gave me oxygen and let me continue.

 

[Bubsta]

I can understand your fear of pain--when i was pregnant that was ALL i thought about and it didn't do me much good when it was time to deliver. I was induced 4 wks early due to high blood pressure/protein in urine, and after pretty much 3 days of being in pain with back contractions, my daughter was born. My body wasn't pushing her out, you could see her crown, but then she was stuck so after pushing for almost three hours, they used forceps. She had little marks on her head from the forceps but nothing serious. Her head wasn't mishapen. She was perfect. Two of my other friends had forceps used on their babies and nothing serious happened to their babies either. She wasn't a huge baby either (well, for being 4 wks early-I guess she was), she was 7 lbs, 11 oz. So even if your baby were smaller, it all depends on your body's ability to push it out.

Good to know I'm not alone with worrying about pain thank you for sharing your story and letting me know about your and your friends experience with forceps. It does help. X

 

[Bubsta]

I had a 15 hour labour with 3 hours of gas and air. DD was back to back which made it more tricky and after 2 hours of pushing they used forceps.
It wasn't ideal but then not many labours go to plan.
But me and DD were both perfectly healthy.

I think understanding the technical parts of what my body was doing and that the pain was just a muscle trying to work etc really helped me through the labour. I would close my eyes breath slowly and try to relax my body from the shoulders down during each contraction.
And whilst I didn't want intervention the only birth plan I had was 'I will have my baby in whatever is the healthiest and safest way' and that is what happened.

Try to be open minded about your labour. Try for a VBAC as a vaginal birth is an unbelievable experience and if you or your baby need intervention it's only for the best.
X

This is the sort of stuff I need to read. Thank you. I like the bit about understanding my body. I think that is what I need to focus on.
Your positive words have helped. Thanks

 

[berniegroves]

I had a 15 hour labour with 3 hours of gas and air. DD was back to back which made it more tricky and after 2 hours of pushing they used forceps.
It wasn't ideal but then not many labours go to plan.
But me and DD were both perfectly healthy.

I think understanding the technical parts of what my body was doing and that the pain was just a muscle trying to work etc really helped me through the labour. I would close my eyes breath slowly and try to relax my body from the shoulders down during each contraction.
And whilst I didn't want intervention the only birth plan I had was 'I will have my baby in whatever is the healthiest and safest way' and that is what happened.

Try to be open minded about your labour. Try for a VBAC as a vaginal birth is an unbelievable experience and if you or your baby need intervention it's only for the best.
X

This is the sort of stuff I need to read. Thank you. I like the bit about understanding my body. I think that is what I need to focus on.
Your positive words have helped. Thanks

I'm glad I could help. I think labour can be scary because whilst we know the basics we don't know that lying on your back means your pelvis can't open the way nature intended etc. and that normally pain means something is wrong and so we tense up but in labour the pain is positive and each contraction is one step closer to your baby.
I hope it all works out for you. If you want I can look up the names of the books I read etc and let you know.

 

[Chellxx]

I had an assisted birth (kiwi) with my ds and he was 9lb 2oz but to be honest I think it was more bad coaching as they kept telling me not to push so I was fighting my body then when time to push came I couldn't quite figure it out tbh! I didn't feel a thing, not even the local anaesthetic. I was a bit sore for a couple of weeks but nothing near a c section and ds had a slight lump on his head from the kiwi but that went down in a day or so. All in all I'd take an assisted delivery over a c section any day but I understand how you are worried.

Dd was a big baby at 8lb13.5 oz but it was a natural delivery so big babies don't always mean assisted delivery.

Good luck Hun I'm sure you will be fine

 

[tinkerbelle93]

I had an assisted delivery (forceps) and, although I am not happy it had to be that way, I would have been just as upset with an emergency c-section as well, I doubt anyone would say that forceps deliveries are worse than EMCS. My son was 6lb 3oz, I don't think bigger babies mean more complications, plus estimations before delivery on size aren't very accurate.

If you have already been through an EMCS then you'd be fine if you did need to have a forceps delivery..they are less high risk, less recovery etc.! But it is unlikely anyway! I'd think very carefully about your birth plan, weigh up pros and cons of your decision and talk to other people about it. Chances are you'll have a good birth... it's over so fast anyway! xx

 

[Bubsta]

You girls are awesome. Thanks heaps for the positive words. Xx
VBAC it is. Going to try and think positively. What will be, will be. Stressing over thing is not going to help.