FEBRUARY HEARTS Due in February 2015 , open group all welcome!

[bridgetboo62]

Captain you are welcome!

i think we are going to go to target later maybe just to look around
and if they have them i may get some (target has an off brand called the beband i think i read one person online said its a thinner material but i dont really know all the difference between it and the name brand bella band) i also heard that motherhood maternity might carry the actual bella band and they may also carry their own version of off brand as well. and macy's and nordstrom may carry the bella band

yeah we are going to be staying with my sister during my third trimester and for a couple of months after baby is born because my sister currently has an 23 month old and her second is due at the end of july. and she wont be going back to work after she has her second so she will always be there and i wont have to be alone with baby during the day while OH is at work. then hopefully we can get into a place of our own by then but if we arent quite financially ready then we may just move back in to my moms for a bit (she has an extra bedroom that she currently uses as an office/exercise room but we could convert it into a nursery) i really want a nursery haha idk why
since we are planning on co sleeping for like ever. as a kid me and my siblings always slept in bed with our parents until like middle school. but going down for naps will be in the crib i suppose (when we arent also going down for a nap as well haha) and a dresser for their clothes and changing table is definitely necessary and will be super useful and a rocking chair for nursing

 

[Feronia]

hehe, if you plan on co-sleeping, maybe hold off on the crib. We got one from a friend but ended up bedsharing since birth and we never used the crib ONCE! It just took up space until we took it down and gave it away. She took naps either on me, in a bassinet, or on a mattress on the floor, and now she naps in our bed.

 

[Megamegan]

I have a close friend who lost a baby while co-sleeping so of course now I'm totally traumatized by the idea, but I know sometimes it's really tough to avoid it even if you really want to. For me, I think we'll do our best not to co-sleep, but not at the expense of mom and baby's health... like if I'm too tired to be a good mom because baby won't sleep then I might nap with the baby. That's how it worked with my sister. But I think even tho I have a personal story, I will need to do more research on it before making my final decision.

 

[bridgetboo62]

im sorry that does sound very traumatizing
but it does happen from time to time if you are not careful
your maternal instincts pretty much prevent you from rolling over your own baby
but your OH is another deal
there are these tiny bassinet type things called co sleepers you actually put on the bed and it has super low sides. it should prevent you from rolling over on baby i think we are going to get one of those for the very early months

what do you mean too tired to be a good mom?
co sleeping doesnt make anyone a bad mom
its actually more natural and better for the childs development and stress/anxiety levels

 

[Mattsgirl]

Bridgetboo I bought the beband from Target when I was pregnant with DS and it worked great.

Whenever we co slept with ds we always put him on a pillow in between us, that way he was up higher and we couldn't roll on him but between us so he wouldn't roll off the bed.

 

[bridgetboo62]

ugh so i know im suppose to get up and exercise everyday but im sooo exaughsted i just cant find the energy or motivation to move any more than i absolutely have to
i make OH do like everything
i feel bad, i feel quilty that im hurting baby cause im just soooo tired
but its baby/this pregnancy that i making me so exausted to the point where i cant find the motivation or energy to do anything
also i cant remember to take my prenatal vitamins to save my life
i can never remember to take any pills everday period
thats why i was always on the nuvaring instead of the pill
because i just absolutely can not remember to take pills
i feel really bad and guilty and about that and worried that baby will have defects because of it but i dont know what to do
and i cant seem to eat all different types of food everyday either like they suggest
like fruit and vegetables and fish and protein
i just cant remember all of this stuff
its driving me crazy i dont want to feel riddled with worry and guilt about it either
because its adding stress and anxiety to even think about it
which is definitely not good for baby or me

 

[Feronia]

I have a close friend who lost a baby while co-sleeping so of course now I'm totally traumatized by the idea, but I know sometimes it's really tough to avoid it even if you really want to. For me, I think we'll do our best not to co-sleep, but not at the expense of mom and baby's health... like if I'm too tired to be a good mom because baby won't sleep then I might nap with the baby. That's how it worked with my sister. But I think even tho I have a personal story, I will need to do more research on it before making my final decision.

SIDS can happen regardless of sleeping location for unrelated reasons, it's just that people don't usually blame the crib if it happens there. As long as the parents are practising safe co-sleeping (e.g. no blankets or pillows near babies head in case of suffocation; no area where baby can roll between the bed and the wall; and no alcohol, smoking, or sleep aids), then it's actually safer for most babies. It's because the parents' breathing helps to regulate the newborn's breathing, and by and large, the parents are well aware of the baby's location. I sure was, even though beforehand I didn't plan to co-sleep and didn't believe I would be aware of her.

 

[chimama]

What about setting a recurring alarm on your phone as a reminder to take the prenatals? That should help.

 

[bridgetboo62]

yeah that might help
but i tried that for the pill and i always ended up silencing the alarm and getting distracted and not taking them
idk ugh
i could put them in my bag so that they are always with me and i look at them whenever i reach into my bag for my ipad or something
that might help
i think i will try that

 

[Megamegan]

im sorry that does sound very traumatizing
but it does happen from time to time if you are not careful
your maternal instincts pretty much prevent you from rolling over your own baby
but your OH is another deal
there are these tiny bassinet type things called co sleepers you actually put on the bed and it has super low sides. it should prevent you from rolling over on baby i think we are going to get one of those for the very early months

what do you mean too tired to be a good mom?
co sleeping doesnt make anyone a bad mom
its actually more natural and better for the childs development and stress/anxiety levels

Sorry I may have worded that a little funny, what I meant was, sometimes if the baby isn't sleeping well (crying) and it keeps the mom awake, and she doesn't get any sleep either, then it might make the mom over-tired and therefore more prone to accidents and forgetfulness (like I tend to be anyway... I know maternal instincts kick in but it's not fail-proof) and therefore even if one is trying not to co-sleep, it might turn into a necessity at some point just so that mom can get some sleep too. Does that make sense? In no way was I implying that co-sleeping made someone a bad mom. I totally think it's very natural, and like I said I need to do more research, but I think everyone can make their own choice and do what is best for them.

 

[Megamegan]

Bridget- yeah for pills I always keep them on my kitchen counter for when I do my morning breakfast routine, and then I keep like 3 or 4 with me in my purse when I leave just in case I forget to take them or I'm in a hurry. Because at some point I'll remember. I am like you, I forget things a lot, so I have doubles of a lot of stuff, and I keep it at work or in my car too (like makeup, nail clippers, pills, etc). I figure if you can't change the forgetful brain, change your life to go with it, lol.

 

[swanxxsong]

I had no desire to cosleep when I first got pregnant with A.

She slept in my bed until just before she turned 2.

Funny how those things and opinions change in time. I wholly support various forms of parenting. I think each family needs to make educated decisions on what works best for their family. And I know people knocked me for cosleeping but it was what worked for us.

I also had wanted an elective section when I first found out -- and by the end I was ready for natural delivery. LOL.

Thank you BNB for opening my eyes to the wonders of research. It turned me into a researching madwoman! xD

 

[swanxxsong]

Megan: also, so sorry for your friends loss. that is so heartbreaking.

 

[Megamegan]

Thanks swanxxsong.

Hubby brought home Ginger Beer just in time for some nausea tonight. He also brought apple pie cheesecake from The Cheesecake Factory which I was not about to turn down, lol. I think the symptoms are kicking in more. I'm happy and feeling crappy all at the same time!

I agree that opinions/views change so much especially over 9 months of pregnancy when you're researching a ton. I'm happy that I am someone who likes to be informed. My mom always said "don't read any baby books, just listen to your doctors and enjoy it" but that doesn't work for me. I need to know pretty much everything, because it helps calm my fears and helps me make good choices and ask the right questions. DH is very supportive of that- he bought me a huge "step by step" baby development book... very detailed and medical... lol probably more than I needed but so sweet nonetheless.

 

[jmandrews]

I can't wait to start using my Doppler I had bought mine before my MC and never got to use it so this time is going to be different. Can't wait!

 

[ttc126]

For me, i don't cosleep. First, I'm such a heavy heavy sleeper so i feel it would be dangerous for me. The other reason is that I'm not comfortable giving up my and dh place to be together alone I feel like i still need to be making that the priority and I don't want to have an older child in bed with me so didn't want to start the habit. That said, i think it's great if it works for your personality she lifestyle. Also, it was easy with my son because he slept through the night from 4 months old. If anyone is interested, we used the "Happiest Baby Guide to Great Sleep" book. It's really great and didn't condemn any bed choices. Includes co sleeping tips too!!!

For pills, I'm right there too and I've got so many to take. My prenatal comes in a way you have to take 2 a day. Then i take a dha vitamin, vitamin d, and extra folic acid. I also am taking a baby aspirin everyday to prevent getting preeclampsia again. I try to remember but there are days I'm not the best! I lay them out in the kitchen and then take them when i see them

 

[bridgetboo62]

yeah i think i will definitely start keeping the prenatals in my bag (purse) so that i constantly look at them and always have them even when im out and about

i also agree that opinions/idea/plans change during the 9 months of research and talking that leads up to a little bundle of joy
and especially for first time moms but also for second third and so on as well because each baby is different they have different habits different needs and each bond/connection between you and child is different
that once baby gets here your ideas/plans are often to change because you really have no idea what to expect because each individual baby can be so different and they can also change wildly throughout the first few years of life as well
that is why even though we plan to cosleep we will definitely be buying a crib and we want one of the ones that converts from crib to toddler bed and to full bed so they can potentially have it throughout their entire stay at mom and dads
its also nice to give them the options while growing up as well let them make the decision/transition when they are ready and feel comfortable
we just want to be prepared for all different types of scenarios
and as for the not wanting to give up the bed between the two of you
i dont understand that at all i grew up in a culture i guess you could say where that was just the sacrifice you made when you had children is to make them feel safe and secure and happy no matter what and that means letting them sleep in the middle and you would savor those moments because their only little for so long and they grow up in a flash. the kids are most important the kids are #1 and come before anything else

i love this song completely describes how i view children/parenting

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jb1kyOeFHLk

 

[ttc126]

I respect that. I'm sure you'll be a great parent.

For me, i believe children are secure with a strong relationship between their parents. I feel like my relationship with dh is #1 and kids fall into place after. I'm not referring to babies, but i do feel children need to be taught they are not the center of the universe and putting dh first, for me, is one way to show that. (Please don't misinterpret, in no way am i implying that bedsharing teaches kids they are the center of everything). Just my belief and what works for us. Just wanted to explain where I'm coming from

I don't think bedsharing is a necessary part of parenting and i don't feel that it's for everyone. Just as making the choice not to bedshare won't work for everyone

I do have to say i never had to do sleep training with my son and he is very happy to have his own space at night. He did sleep in a basinett for four months next to my bed I know not everyone has such an easy sleeper, so I'm not sure if my decisions would be different if his personality wasn't as easy-going!

Can't wait to meet this new little one and see what this little person is like!!!!

 

[bridgetboo62]

yeah i respect that
i just dont think i will ever be able to really understand it
for my family your kids are the center of your universe
nothing and no one is more important
and i know personally that is how it will be for my kids
they will always come first before anyone or anything else
even OH
if i had to choose it would be the kid(s) 100% without a doubt in a heartbeat

 

[ZombieKitten]

sorry I haven't been too chatty today, I was crazy busy!

Bridget: I have to set a daily reminder on my phone to remember to take my vitamin, otherwise I won't remember at all.

On the subject of co-sleeping, I never thought I would do it and when I was pregnant with my daughter I got a beautiful crib... and she never used it then when I had my son (my daughters previous crib was turned into a toddler bed), we bought a bassinet for him knowing he would be moved into our bed after a while.... and he used it only once. This baby most likely wont want to be in a crib/bassinet either. Everyone I know tells me that what I do is extremely dangerous and I do get very scared hearing all the horror stories... but both my children were absolutely MISERABLE in a crib/bassinet and wouldn't sleep for any longer than 20 minutes (and their crib/bassinet were RIGHT next to my bed, literally up against it) unless they were skin to skin with me. Both my deliveries at the hospital, I got NO sleep at all for the 2 nights straight because hospital policy does NOT allow co-sleeping (because the beds aren't made for it) and my babies would scream miserably if I put them in that little glass crib thing... that and I refused to let them take them to the baby nursery lol. Not that I don't trust them or anything... it's just when you spend 9 months literally connected to your child, it's scary and sad to let them out of your site.