FEBRUARY HEARTS Due in February 2015 , open group all welcome!

[Megamegan]

Hi everyone! I just got back from vacation and read through all the pages to catch up, took forever lol.

I too have a doctor appt tomorrow with another scan and I'm so happy I don't need a full bladder for this one! Hope everyone's goes well tomorrow and can't wait to see the updates!

My bump is obvious when I wear maternity clothes. Really obvious- yesterday a stranger asked me if I was pregnant. I'll post a pic later.

 

[Feronia]

the thing is, pain is not a big problem for me, so thats not considered in my decision, its mainly tearing i have problems with, i'm going to put this in a spoiler box because its quite crude so i dont want people who dont want to read this through this haha

Spoiler

my hubby is rather... generously proportioned in the trouser department, and when we... you know... i feel myself pretty much go to the absolute maximum stretching wise, i literally feel like much bigger and i'll tear, and its not as big as a babies head (obviously) so my worry is major tearing and my mum tore with my older sister and she said it was the worst experience of her life and so had a c section with me and has said on many occasions that she wishes she had requested a c section with my sister, both me and my sister only weighing 7 lbs ( my mum is small like me, still a bit taller than me but only by about 2 inches) my mum is also a lot wider hipped than me

i also got hit by a car when i was 12 and dislocated my hip, and still have problems when under strain it can pop out again.

I totally understand your concerns. There are things you can do to minimize your risk of tearing for sure though! The first thing is to do kegal exercises, which strengthen your pelvic floor and can assist you with pushing. Optimal pushing prevents tearing. Slow pushing in between contractions can really help compared to pushing the baby out all at once. Try to take it easy, just a little bit at a time. Forceps, epidural usage, and vacuum delivery also really, really increases your odds of tearing. Sometimes tearing isn't important to someone because they know they can just be stitched up, but if avoiding it is important to you, consider the type of interventions that happen. Tearing naturally is definitely better than having an episiotomy, too!

Another thing that helps is doing perineal massages in the third trimester. Just get some sort of oil and stretch the area down and out every day. It really helps! There are tons of tutorials online for this.

And the absolute BEST thing you can do is to avoid giving birth on your back. Seriously, the women I know who birthed on their backs all tore, and the women I know who birthed on their sides, hands or knees, upright, or in a squatting/froggy position by and large did not tear. It isn't full proof of course, but it is the biggest thing that helps. Birthing underwater also really helps prevent tearing. I had a water birth with my daughter and didn't tear at all -- not even a graze -- but having someone support your perineum with warm compresses while you're pushing can help in lieu of a water delivery.

 

[Captain]

Feronia I seriously love reading your posts. With this being my first everything is so new and tearing is something I'm quite worried about, your posts are always so informative!

 

[River54]

With my last, years ago - bad experience

Spoiler

dry birth, pushing for hours (my doctor got reprimanded because of it), finally used a vacuum, then I was cut & a specialist used forceps.

So, a bit scared of a repeat this time, but I know this time, they can monitor me alot better, so that helps.

 

[kittykat7210]

the thing is, pain is not a big problem for me, so thats not considered in my decision, its mainly tearing i have problems with, i'm going to put this in a spoiler box because its quite crude so i dont want people who dont want to read this through this haha

Spoiler

my hubby is rather... generously proportioned in the trouser department, and when we... you know... i feel myself pretty much go to the absolute maximum stretching wise, i literally feel like much bigger and i'll tear, and its not as big as a babies head (obviously) so my worry is major tearing and my mum tore with my older sister and she said it was the worst experience of her life and so had a c section with me and has said on many occasions that she wishes she had requested a c section with my sister, both me and my sister only weighing 7 lbs ( my mum is small like me, still a bit taller than me but only by about 2 inches) my mum is also a lot wider hipped than me

i also got hit by a car when i was 12 and dislocated my hip, and still have problems when under strain it can pop out again.

I totally understand your concerns. There are things you can do to minimize your risk of tearing for sure though! The first thing is to do kegal exercises, which strengthen your pelvic floor and can assist you with pushing. Optimal pushing prevents tearing. Slow pushing in between contractions can really help compared to pushing the baby out all at once. Try to take it easy, just a little bit at a time. Forceps, epidural usage, and vacuum delivery also really, really increases your odds of tearing. Sometimes tearing isn't important to someone because they know they can just be stitched up, but if avoiding it is important to you, consider the type of interventions that happen. Tearing naturally is definitely better than having an episiotomy, too!

Another thing that helps is doing perineal massages in the third trimester. Just get some sort of oil and stretch the area down and out every day. It really helps! There are tons of tutorials online for this.

And the absolute BEST thing you can do is to avoid giving birth on your back. Seriously, the women I know who birthed on their backs all tore, and the women I know who birthed on their sides, hands or knees, upright, or in a squatting/froggy position by and large did not tear. It isn't full proof of course, but it is the biggest thing that helps. Birthing underwater also really helps prevent tearing. I had a water birth with my daughter and didn't tear at all -- not even a graze -- but having someone support your perineum with warm compresses while you're pushing can help in lieu of a water delivery.

that is actually amazingly helpful thank you, i heard that on all fours is a good one, and i think that would be more comfortable for me rather than having my legs wide (my hip seems to pop out more often in that position) but you've given a lot of helpful information so thank you, and i will definitely discuss these with my midwife next time i see her xx

 

[SurpriseBub]

I gave birth to a 6.5lb baby girl and ended up with 50 stitches. Tearing is luck of the draw and really isnt about the babies size.
Just do what you feel is right mama. You live with the consequence, no one else.

Fifty stitches?! Wow- you are a brave lady

I am somewhat freaked out by the whole birth idea. I like to be in control (in general), and feel like no matter what prep you do, there is always the possibility of something unknown knocking you if course. Must admit that episiotomy and use of forceps/baby getting stuck are my big fears! I guess I will just wait and see how I feel/what baby is up to closer to the big event, and then do the best to be prepared. I must admit to being tempted by the more controlled Caesar option. Just not sure that I would actually choose that option when push (literally) comes to shove. If you do it, there do seem to be a lot of benefits to natural birth.

And welcome back, Megan... I was wondering where you were!

 

[Feronia]

Good luck for those of you with upcoming scans!

When I was a first time mom, I read the Hypnobirthing book (by Marie Mongan). That, Ina May's Guide to Childbirth, and Spiritual Midwifery were all SUPER helpful in making me calm down and be ready for birth. I grew up hearing my mom relate horror stories about birthing my brother in me and I swore I wouldn't have kids because of it. I changed my mind when I was 25 though after DH and I were together for 10 years. I'm super excited to give birth again!

 

[swanxxsong]

I tore with my 6'6 baby, she was tiny but she still gave me a tear but it was minor. It honestly was not that bad pain-wise - better than I expected. I did perineal massages in third tri and I think it helped a lot.

Ina Mays book was wonderful IMO. I loved it!

Hypnobirthing is on my must-read list for this baby.

I won't lie. I was convinced I would have an elective section with my daughter. Then I began reading and was convinced for a completely natural birth. I went from one end of the spectrum to the other. Funny how those things sometimes even out in time!

 

[jmandrews]

Below is a picture of me at 38 weeks pregnant with my DD. I was induced and had my DD at exactly 39 weeks. So you can imagine how big my belly was then! Everyone thought I was having twins. I had an easy labor and delivery. I had an epidural. Pushed 17 min with no tearing. She was 7lbs 1oz and 19.5" I can only hope and pray my labor and delivery is as easy as it was with my DD.
Oh and I am 5'3.5" my weight at 4 weeks was 107lbs. Not sure if I have gained weight or not. I
Gained 36lbs with my DD. I weighed 142 with her.
I will post a current bump pic tomorrow. I showed early with DD so only makes since that I'm showing even earlier this time.

 

[ttc126]

I just wanted to say don't worry too much about birth!

I am literally the biggest baby ever. I also had a million things go wrong with ds birth. I was on magnesium sulfate to prevent seizures from severe preeclampsia, and induced on pitocin. I went about half the time with no epidural but since i was literally not allowed off my back with the mag, i opted to get one. It really sped things up and helped me relax. They turned it off for pushing. I remember it hurting, but i seriously thought "hey this is not that bad" while pushing. I had a tear that required 15 stitches but while i could feel it, it didn't hurt like i thought it would. I didn't shed a tear! And literally i was prepared for the worst.

When i got out of bed the first time, i felt like my butt was so heavy and falling off! But honestly there wasn't even as much blood as i expected. Granted, i had a baby in nicu, was severely anemic, and had several other complications, so maybe i didn't notice, but i wasn't even that sore down there!

Think positive! Our bodies were made for this and know what to do. My recovery, even with a hemorrhage and surgery 3 weeks postpartum, was much easier than expected. By 5 weeks postpartum i felt really good! I promise it's not as bad as we all imagine.

Just wanted to give some reassurance! Even when things dont go as planned, it's still not as awful as you'd think.

Wishing you all a happy birth and hoping very hard we all have uncomplicated deliveries!

 

[SurpriseBub]

As a first timer, I just think it is all very daunting... A friend of mine was like 'when you get there, it is all pretty inevitable, so you just have to go with the flow'... Seems logical!

 

[MellyH]

Here is my 10 week twin bump! It's my first pregnancy, so I was hoping I'd have awhile yet, but I already have a belly!

https://i.imgur.com/2WNEm7J.jpg

 

[2nd time]

I thimk its 7 scans today if I counted right mine is 9am uk time still nervouse good luck girls

 

[maisie78]

ive also got my scan on 31/07/14 at 11.40am uk time, had a rough day of antenatal appointments today and ive been put on heparin injections twice a day and an aspirin and non stop talking about my weight. Just hoping for a normal appointment tomorrow although I have a feeling it will end up been transvaginal or rescheduled because of my weight... starting to feel fed up about the pregnancy as its never about the pregnancy its about my weight.... I am trying my best and have lost 6lbs since finding out I was pregnant but on a downer atm

Emily you don't look as big as me (UK size 22) and although it has been raised no one has made me feel awful for being big either this time or last. I am.in the high bmi clinic and will have to have gtt at 20 and 28 weeks but I didn't get GD last time and my baby was only 6lb 4oz. Being overweight does not automatically mean you will have complications. I'm sorry they are making you feel this way though xx

 

[RaspberryK]

i hope my little one doesnt take after my hubby, hes just over 6 ft, but with me just under 5ft and pretty tiny all over i dont think i could walk with a big baby in my tummy!! i'll be falling over forwards by 30 weeks haha!! i might choose a c section if i'm honest /: i know most women prefer a natural birth but if bubbas big i just don't think i'll be able to

If it's your first and does seem to be quite big (and remember scans are not always accurate indicators of birth weight), I would definitely say still give a vaginal birth a try, many small women have birthed big babies with no problems! Obviously, if the doctors advise you otherwise then listen to them but I just wish I'd learnt more about the different positions you can use, i.e. squatting, to open up the pelvis and it might all have been different (although exhaustion played a major part in my labour too)! I'm going for a VBAC this time so it hasn't put me off!

Totally agree. Ultrasounds are horrible indicators of actual weight, and you can't tell by the way you're carrying either (torso length determines that). My husband is almost 6 feet and my baby only weighed 6 lbs 2 oz and was 18 1/2 inches long, so it's really hard to tell.

Yeah, squatting and being on your hands and knees opens up your pelvis up to 30% more, and there are plenty of small women who birth 10lb + babies without even tearing. There are four different types of pelvises, and ALL of them can birth babies. Unless there is a structural problem with your hips (e.g. a broken pelvis in early life that reshaped incorrectly, or something like Rickets), or a problem like gestational diabetes, your body won't make a baby that you can't birth vaginally (of course other things can rarely come up that would make a cesarean delivery a better option, but size of baby in relation to your body alone isn't one of them unless you have a problem I already mentioned).

You can totally do it!

Best of luck on your VBAC, minibump!

I wouldn't worry about the size of the baby, I was measuring large and had already been tested for GD, I had a growth scan 4 days before DS was born and initially measured bigger but the consultant came in a remeasured and asked if I ate a lot of crap, I said no. He said between 8&8.5lb. He was actually born 10lb3oz, other than a 26 hour labour - due to a pocket of waters between his head and my cervix, all went relatively smoothly. I was at home but the midwife left me saying I would be hours - despite my waters breaking (the whole reason I wasn't dilating past 5cm) she didn't re-check for dilation,wouldn't return when my contractions were closer because she said they weren't lasting long enough. We went to hospital and he was born within half an hour or arriving, a few pushes (flat on my back against my wishes I will add) and no tearing at all.
xx

 

[maisie78]

Sorry I haven't been around for a few days, been working and then 3 hour appointment at hospital yesterday. I will try to catch up. Hope you are all well. I have been keeping up to date with some news, good and bad, through our fb group.

I had my scan yesterday and was measured as 13+3 so Raspberry if could change my due date to Feb 1st please? Saying that he will actually be a January baby as I have requested a section. I asked the Dr if he though I would have to plead my case to get one and he said that with the reasons I have given (anxiety after emcs last time then dd's condition and then needing to plan for her care as she is disabled) he couldn't see why I would be refused.

I have been referred to the high bmi clinic which wasn't a surprise and.just means that I will see a different set of Drs. I will be having 2 GTTs this time at 20 and 28 weeks and will have growth scans at 28 and 36 weeks but I am not concerned as I didn't get GD last time and dd was only 6lb 4oz. I suspect this baby will be bigger as he is a boy but I can't imagine he will be huge. I have already lost 11lbs so feel confident I can keep my weight under control.

I had the NT scan and that came back at 2mm. Anything up to 2.5 is in normal range at this gestation so although I have to await the blood results I am confident he is fine We watched him having a big drink, we saw him gulping it down and then he got huge hiccups so was bouncing up and down

And this is him

 

[xxshellsxx]

Glad all went well with NT scan Maisie - lovely pic!

I also have my NT scan today - 1.30pm UK time (5 hours from now... not that i'm clock watching or anything ) I'm actually terrified i will get there and one or both of my babies hasn't made it! I have no reason to fear this, both heartbeats seen and heard at 9+ 3 weeks. I'm so in love with both my miracles already i can't bear the thought that anything could change. Hoping the NT measurements for DS are low as my age up's the risk already.

good luck to all with scans today!! x

 

[maisie78]

Good luck Shells I'm sure everything will be.fine xxx

 

[MiniBump]

Great scan pic Maisie, glad everything went well! Good luck to all the other ladies having scans today, can't wait to see your little beans!

Blood results have shown I'm slightly anaemic so it's iron tablets for me! Suspect I'll switch to Spatone though cos I'll no doubt end up constipated. At least it explains why I've been feeling so tired and weak!! x

 

[British Mummy]

everything is fine! and only one in there measuring slightly ahead (based on lmp was 11 Weeks 2 days, based on my o date, because I have short cycles which they never listen to I was 11 Weeks 4 days) little baby is measuring 12 Weeks 2 days, please change my due date to February 10th!
here is photo...
hope everyone else has happy and healthy scans!! x