Phew! I have finally caught on on the whole thread right from the beginning.
I also love the name Februbabies.
rollachick, i love your names. I have a Korben!
Mummy1506, yes i remember you too. Really pleased we are both here!
Feanorous, I am so sorry for your friends loss. I have lost two babies late on so I know how they feel. Basically they're going to be upset because you are going to have what they want. When you have lost a baby it feels like everyone else can get pregnant easily and their babies are always healthy and it's almost like a bitterness. It's not intentional, but that's how I felt at least. I used to help myself by imagining that all the pregnant ladies I saw could have had losses or fertility struggles - it made it easier for me to bear. All I mean by that is perhaps tell her how much you wanted this baby, how you tried for it and if you had losses tell her. Above all call her lost baby by his/her name and say something like, "I know you are hurting from loosing (name), so I will let you decide when to talk about my pregnancy or not, when to see me or not." Depending on how she feels she may not even want to see you much, especially as you get bigger and maybe when you rbaby is a newborn. It's awful, but you go into self-preservation mode. Please don't judge her for that. And, the most important thing of all - bigger than anything else. Do not call your baby by her angel baby's name. Not even the middle name. You may think it's pretty obvious and you probably do since you're already sensitive enough to be asking for advice, but I have known it happen. I have had friends in support groups devestated because their sister in law / friend / whatever decided to use their angel baby's name. This is THE WORST thing you can do. Our lost babies pretty much only have their names. We have memories, a few photos and their names. That's it. My friend's sister called her baby by my second angel baby's name. I don't know her, so I don;t know if she knew that was her name or not. But, when I see her and I hear everyone around call her daughter by my angel daughter's name it kills me.
About the age gaps thing - DS who is my youngest will be 5 and a half when this new baby arrives. I will have JUST got used to having time to clean the house and things while both of them are in school... lol! But that's how we planned it, so i can't complain.
I've only told DH and my best friend. No one else yet. I will wait as long as humanly possible to tell mum cause she's a natural worrier. With us loosing two pregnancies the best thing I can do for her is minimise the time she has to worry about me. Plus, she has told me in no uncertain terms that I am not allowed to get pregnant again! Then I also have a friend who has secondary infertility. She has a gorgeous 5 year old son, but has been struggling for years to conceive again and had two failed IVF attempts. I know she will be happy for me, but I just don't want to hurt her.
