fed up with hubby.

[Mrs-N]

yesterday we just seemed to clash all the time.
he doesnt seem to be interested in me or our baby.
i ask him to hold/rub my belly but he just says no.
i feel lonely in my pregnancy,all i would like is a cuddle and just to be shown that me and this baby are wanted.
i would love to be able to go to bed a cuddle and just enjoy our time togther (he works 40 hours a week.)
but we dont he faces one way and i face the other.
he had a day off yesterday and i always look forward to his days off so we can have time togther but yesterday he said its his day off and he wants to have it alone.
i dont work so all i have to look forward to is his days off and a thursday coz i go up a week.

i love him to bits and we have only been married since september but i just want some more attention and love.

i dont want to feel lonely and upset through my pregnancy,
i want to enjoy ever minute of it but with my husband.

thanks for reading.

 

[anita665]

I can understand how you feel. My OH isn't actually working again at the moment but when he does he can work anything between 50 and 80 hours per week so I see very little of him. It's a horrible feeling when you're just waiting for their days off and then they spend it sleeping or doing something else and the days off seem to just fly by. Also a problem I often had with my OH is that at the last moment he'd tell me this week he couldn't have his days off because someone else was off.

I don't know what to say about his work, other than to try and talk to him and tell him you feel like you're not having enough time together & that you miss him. On my OH's days off we used to always try to do something together like go out for dinner.

I think he'll probably start to pay more attention to the pregnancy as it becomes more obvious. When you're showing and he can feel baby move for himself it will probably sink in for him!

 

[Mrs-N]

thank you for reading a replying anita.
im not bothered that he is working i just want him to take some notice of me and the pregnancy.
i dont want to think this baby isnt wanted.

it might just be me going over the top,i dont know anymore.

 

[anita665]

Most guys don't really seem that interested in pregnancy though until there is something there that they can see or feel. My OH was the same. He never wanted to talk about it and wasn't interested at all until he saw my belly growing and could feel baby kicking. Then he started to get really excited about it all.

I think that even if you aren't bothered by how much he works, you need to explain to him that when he isn't working, you'd like to be able to spend some more time with him & how lonely you're feeling.

 

[Newt]

I think Anita has made a good point.

I felt the same in the early stages, and OH seemed to not be interested. In fact, when I spoke to him about how I felt, I found it wasn't that he didn't care, it was that he would forget. Not through malice, mind, just that I wasn't showing and life just got in the way.

I remember feeling incredibly lonely, and I think hormones made me feel like I wanted more attention.

That said however, on our days off we would spend it together and I do think he is being somewhat selfish in wanting it alone.

I do hope you can sort it out and feel better soon, I would hate the thought of you getting into a rut, not when you need his support the most.

 

[Mrs-N]

thank you girls.
i think i get myself worked up.
ill see how it goes.
i know he love me and the baby but i think im a bit pushy coz i want more attention and love.

thanks again girls x x

 

[clairebear]

hey hun i felt like that to start with but know bump is getting bigger and baby is kicking much more DH is more intersted and cant stop talking to and rubbing belly. xxx

 

[Mrs-N]

i just hope that the further i go along the more interested he will be.
i am having funny sensations and popping in my belly and now and again i get a few harder stronger pops so im hoping i start to feel baby move more now.

 

[PitBullMommy]

I'm so sorry. My DH was like that up until our 20wk scan, and even then he was kinda blah about it. Now that he can feel her moving around in there he's much more excited about it. He told me yesterday that he was jealous and felt left out cause he couldn't feel her or anything and it didn't really seem REAL to him until he felt her. I hear ya about the days off too...every other weekend he has to go to Fire Training school for the WHOLE weekend, then the weekends he's home he's out helping his friend finish working on his basement. Very frustrating when you just want to spend time together. I hope things get better for y'all.

 

[doctordeesmrs]

I went through this with my dh a few weeks back. We had a big blow out then sat down and talked. It was really great to hear things from his point of view and he's been paying even more attention to me since.

 

[vicky]

Hun it will get better, my hubby doesn't seem to show much interesterd in this preganancy or when i was preganant with my daughter. He knows the babies coming and he keeps mentioning how big i'm getting. My Hubby does the same as yours whats his day's off to do what he wants even if it is to spend all day on the computer and get on my nerves cos just want to spend time with him.

 

[x-amy-x]

Hope you feel better soon. my OH didn't seem all that interested either until i really started to get a bump. I think he's just unsure of how i'd like him to act since its all new for us.

I try to include him when i am picking out stuff to buy for the baby because he is totally indecisive. Try talkin 2 him 2 tell him how you feel and i hope he starts giving you the love and attention you deserve

xxx

 

[Mrs-N]

thank you everyone.
well yesterday was fab,he came home from work and he was a different person, loads of cuddles and we were laughing and joking together.
it was like how it was when we first started seeing each other.

ill have to wait and see how its gonna be when he gets home tonight.

thanks again to all of you. x x

 

[babe2ooo]

i so understand how you feel the last few days i have felt like that you just need to talk 2 him dont get mad think about it 1st, i keep getting mad and then my OH doesnt bother, but when i'm nice and we talk he understands, hope that helps

 

[Rumpskin]

Oh Mrs Newberry.

How is he now?

xx

 

[Mrs-N]

Oh Mrs Newberry.

How is he now?

xx

thanks for asking.

he has be fine since,so fingers crossed it will stay like that.

thanks again x x

 

[Moulder86]

I envy ladies who have the support of their OH or the fact that their OH are even interested.

My babies daddy and I are no longer together but still spend a lot of time together (most evenings & weekends) but he never has been that interested in us (me and Peanit). I feel really alone, as most of my friends don't care either, I hate it. So I know how you feel, I'm glad he has started to change is tune though!!
xx

 

[Pixie5120]

dunno if this is helpful at all... so im sorry if its not, but in the film "Juno" one of the characters says that a woman becomes a mother when she becomes pregnant, a man doesnt become a father until the baby is born. you have the bub in you and you can feel it (even if it isnt moving yet) and feel yourself being pregnant (bad way to put it, sorry) but men dont have that, especially before there is anything tangible to show for the pregnancy, they basically just have the fact. youre pregnant. hard to feel excited about something that they cant see or feel. though its not a nice feeling for you at all and im very glad he is being better with you hope you have a very happy little family when bub is born

 

[Mrs-N]

a woman becomes a mother when she becomes pregnant, a man doesnt become a father until the baby is born. you have the bub in you and you can feel it (even if it isnt moving yet) and feel yourself being pregnant (bad way to put it, sorry) but men dont have that, especially before there is anything tangible to show for the pregnancy, they basically just have the fact. youre pregnant. hard to feel excited about something that they cant see or feel. hope you have a very happy little family when bub is born

oh thats excellent how you described that.
every woman should be told that a man doesnt become a father until baby is born.
thank you for that.
i am happy now so hopefully it will only get better. x x