Feeding in public

[Lu28]

After a few false starts, I have no problem at all feeding in public now. I have found sometimes though that other people aren't comfortable. On a couple of occasions, I've gone to other people's houses when they've also had other friends around and the second I walk through the door I'm told that upstairs is all set up for me when she needs a feed. Despite me saying I'm fine doing it downstairs, the offer is repeated which makes me think that they're not comfortable with me feeding in front of the guests etc. So off I go upstairs for an hour to feed Aisling while everyone else is downstairs having fun!

Has anyone else found this and what have they done? I don't want people to be uncomfortable in their own homes but I'm very discreet and it's not much fun being upstairs on my own...

 

[CountingDown]

A few of my friends are like this as is my o/h's dad and wife x

 

[Arcanegirl]

thankfully not had this prob so far. Maybe just ask them if they feel uncomfortable with it?

 

[britmum]

Personally I wouldn't go then. What's the point? If you are stuck upstairs as if you are doing something dirty. If I was you I would either just say :Oh, I am fine down here thanks" or not bother....but that's me

 

[Louise-B]

I know what you mean. When Kitty was younger we visited friends and at the time I wasn't comfortable feeding downstairs in front of people, so went upstairs to feed....but did regret it when I heard everyone laughing and talking and I was stuck upstairs...it's no fun!

I guess you have to balance your own feelings of being comfortable feeding downstairs, with the feelings of your hosts by disappearing upstairs for a bit.

Sorry no advice there really, but totally get where you are coming from!

 

[Lucy_lu_84]

Not had this yet... haven't had to do many feeds in public. My sister had a small family party in her garden saturday though, and thru choice i went and sat inside to feed as i know some people are uncomfortable with it (mainly the guys) but my neice came inside with me and chatted to me while i was feeding so it wasn't to bad. But I did sort of feel a little left out sitting inside!

all I can suggest is ask them if they are uncomfortable with it, as you would rather feed downstairs

 

[carries]

I bought a hooter hider which to be honest I only really used in that kind of situation. People really cant see anything at all then and so have no real ground to complain! Stopped being effective at about 5 months though as Oscar would just pull it off him so he could look around!

 

[anothersquish]

Id tell them to sod off or in future not to bother inviting me round...lol!
With my son I fed him when he needed to be fed regardless of where I was, always as discreetly as possible of course, didnt shove boobs in anyones face (often covered completely boob and him with a muslin cloth if we were in a resturant/cafe) My friends knew my choice was to breastfeed and not one ever commented even though none have had children of their own yet, I even went to a BBQ filled with singles and new couples and sat outside with them bf'ing and not even one of the blokes got "that look" on his face. I would question them as friends if you are asked to vacate the room unless you wanted too, breast feeding is what boobs are for and I hate to see it treated like its weird.
In Pizza Hut on Sat night there was a lady with a baby must have been 4 weeks old who sat and started to breastfeed...I almost dashed over and said "good for you!" but settled for giving her a big grin and a wink as I walked past which she really seemed to appreciate.
Dont let anyone else anywhere, friend family or stranger, make you feel uncomfortable with bf'ing. Even question the next invitation you get and say maybe you would rather not come as you feel uncomfortable being sent upstairs to feed your baby.

 

[Lu28]

Thanks ladies I was actually due to go to one of the friends yesterday afternoon. We were only going to be able to stay an hour and Aisling would have needed a feed pretty much as soon as we got there so I didn't bother going, sent DH off on his own for a quick beer. Didn't see the point in going to someone elses house only to sit upstairs on my own!

I definitely don't want to make people feel uncomfortable in their own homes but as Britmum said, I don't want to be sent upstairs as if I'm doing something dirty I guess I might just have to have a proper chat with them about it soon once I muster the courage together!

 

[mama2b]

I bought a hooter hider which to be honest I only really used in that kind of situation. People really cant see anything at all then and so have no real ground to complain! Stopped being effective at about 5 months though as Oscar would just pull it off him so he could look around!

Hooter hider ?! Love it !!! Where can I get one !!!

To be honest im the sort of person that would welcome the chance to go upstairs and feed away from everyone. I don't feel comfortable feeding in front of people apart from my oh and a couple of friends.

I usually time visits around feeds or express. Im so shy !

 

[Panda_Ally]

OH's step mum kept saying this to me when i went over to hers but i just explained that i didnt want the way a feed holly to seprate me from the family, i'm a discreet feeder and after a few times there all comfortable with it. I think its more fear that they will b embaressed rather than not liking bfing but as soon as they see ur not atall ashamed and baby is content they will accept it.

 

[princessellie]

tbh i never gave anyone the chance to send me upstairs haha, i just said oh she needs feeding, took her and got my boobies out lol...no one seemed to give me weird looks either although i did get asked when i was gna start bottle feeding her...lots! lol, i dunno why cos i always covered myself up like but after the first time i done it i guess people realised i was just gna do it where i was haha so the sooner she was off the boob the better apparently

x