Feeding Problems - Please Help

[MrsBop]

My little girl is 4 days old now and just can't seem to grasp breastfeeding, sometimes she latches really well other times she skitters around the nipple and sucks around it instead, my breasts are at least 3 times the size of her head and kill, pumping doesn't work and I am so close to giving up I was so adamant I would feed from the word go because I didn't with my DS and only lasted 3 weeks because my milk didn't properly kick in but he took to it like a duck to water, I've ended up giving little Moo formula a few times because she was hungry but I don't want to do this. She was 7lb at birth.

For instance she had formula at 4am, boob at 6.30am and then boob at 9am, she then slept solidly until 3pm when I tried to get her to feed again and she just couldn't grasp it and ended up giving her formula at 4pm because she'd made me sore and she was going crazy Thing is I'm not actually sure if she's actually getting anything from me surely she'd be screaming blue murder if she wasn't though wouldn't she?

I really don't want to give up but I need to put her needs first rather than mine, I was sobbing my eyes out to my DH last night (good old baby blues lol!) but both him and my mum reckon she must be getting bits from me because she is so contented, what do you guys reckon?

We have plenty of dirty nappies too.

It's getting to that stage where I am paranoid my milk will dry up, I have really pathetic nipples too, they don't seem very big or stick out very far, the areola is big but the actually sticky outty bit isn't, is this the problem, have I just got big stupid pathetic boobs that won't work?

Anyway if anyone could give me any tips I would be really greatful, so would my huge sore boobs!!

 

[Mervs Mum]

First of all hun take a deep breath!! It's not easy and my first impression is that she is getting plenty from you.

You need to remember she's only 4 days old. You are BOTH learning. BFing IS natural but it's also a learned skill. She knows the basics but she's got to get used to you and you to her.

Contented baby with wet and dirty nappies is perfect! Now you just have to take it one feed at a time. You are likely to be engorged so your boobs will be sore and feel too big for her - that's going to pass very soon. Your boobs ARE NOT stupid or pathetic!!! They have and will continue to keep your gorgeous girl alive!! They are clever boobies BUT you need to guve them chance too - they are learning about you AND your baby!!!!

I'd say you need to relieve the engorgement before each feed till they settle - that may be as soon as in the next 24 hours so lets just take it a bit at a time. When you think she is going to start stirring for a feed ( I appreciate you are also just starting to learn her cues) then you could get a flannel and soak it in hot water and lay it on your boob. This should encourage the let down. I'd also hand express some off too - then you should have more soft breast to play with IYKWIM. If your actual nips are short then I'd say you need to try to sandwich your boob into her mouth - I'll explain this at the end as I typed it somewhere else recently so I'll copy and paste after

Topping up with formula is fine BUT be aware you wont be sending the right messages to your boobs at this early and really important stage. You have to try to get away from the 'how much is she getting' trap if you want to exclusively BF - I'm not sure you do but I'm just saying if you do topping up wont help you .

Milk drying up and not having enough is VERY rare - like 1-3% of women experience this in reality, although many 'think' that's what's happening.

Confidence in your boobs is key - DONT DISS THE BOOBIES!!!! They are clever but you need to give them chance.

I'll be back with 'sandwiching' in a min.

Hang in there mama!!! You're doing soooo well already!!


edit - Sandwiching!!

If you get hold of your nipple around the areola , get a decent amount of breast and nipple and sort of sandwich it flat between your thumb on top and fingers underneath. Then touch between her top lip and nose with your nipple - touching and tickling almost which should get her to open up more and tip her head back, then kind of flick the nipple and as much breast as you can in - she needs a good mouth full. Does that make sense?

 

[Mervs Mum]

Someone recently added this picture to a thread here and I thought it was a great illustration....your babies tummy isnt even as big as the biggest marble. Just a few successful mins feeding will fill her at this stage so try not to worry about ounces of milk just yet!!!

 

[MrsBop]

OMG Mervs Mum thank you so so much, I am actually crying now (silly hormones lol!) I have decided to stop the formula top ups and give boobies the best chance as I want to exclusively breastfeed for as long as possible. They are very engorged and she seems to find them overwhelming where as before my milk kicked in she wasn't as skittish so I will try the hot flannel to relieve them. Thank you once again.

 

[Mervs Mum]

Anytime !!!

I managed 6 weeks with my first and like you I wanted to give it a better shot this time so I know where youre coming from.

Believe in them boobies lass!!!

x

Ps - I'm in sunny Brighouse not far from you!

 

[1st_baby]

Lisa anyone ever tell ya your great with advice ...

BUT where the hell were you when i neede your help in BF lol Im so stalking you withmy next baby lol

 

[MrsBop]

Anytime !!!

I managed 6 weeks with my first and like you I wanted to give it a better shot this time so I know where youre coming from.

Believe in them boobies lass!!!

x

Ps - I'm in sunny Brighouse not far from you!

Not far at all although it's sunny in Leeds its still a bit chilly and I've just flicked heating on so me and baby girl can have some skin to skin contact when she wakes up although I'm secretly hoping I can drink my cup of tea whilst it's still hot for a change

 

[Mervs Mum]

Lisa anyone ever tell ya your great with advice ...

BUT where the hell were you when i neede your help in BF lol Im so stalking you withmy next baby lol

Aww... thanks Mel - I will be stalking YOU with your next baby....

xx

 

[Jemima]

Aw, MrsBop sounds like you are doing very well and the tears are normal. It's all so emotional during those first few weeks. I remember crying over everything, particularly issues related to breastfeeding. I think you just doubt yourself initially as you haven't yet got to grips with how it all works, not to mention how your little baby works.

I found it very useful to have my Mum on the end of the phone. Do you have anyone around you who has breastfed who can offer you some support and encouragement? I really think it's so important. A breastfeeding support group or drop in centre maybe?

I remember that feeling of being sooooo full of milk for the first few days but your boobs will soon regulate themselves and before you know it, they will feel no different to your pre-pregnancy days, no engorgement at all. Once they are less full, you will probably notice that your little girl has a lot more to "grab on to" and from then onwards, it will get much easier, you'll see.

Good luck with it. Please keep us posted on how you are getting on.

 

[Brockie]

as always Lisa has given you the best advice hon!! shes fab x

the first couple of weeks were hard for me too, my boobs were so full Fred couldn't latch on so milk would just squirt everywhere and he would dart around with his mouth open trying to catch it

but its really does settle, and the hardest thing to get your head around is the old 'is he/she getting enough' as you can't see it like a bottle! you just have to have faith boobies will do a perfect job and just go by nappies/sleep etc xxxx