feeding rooms - am i wrong?

[leighbaby]

I have sat in the mens dept of next and fed my LO and have also sat in the mens dept of m&s and fed my LO because there was no room in feeding rooms and perfectly able people were hogging the chairs in those rooms!!

 

[flutterbywing]

I would definately ask the staff if you are ever in a similar situation again, I was in mothercare the other day and without me asking one of the staff offered to take me to another checkout to get my bits put through without queuing and also said I could use the changing rooms (for mums, bra fitting etc) if I was more comfortable there, though TBH had they not have offered I'd have plonked myself on the floor next to them.

 

[v2007]

Also some ELC have feeding rooms as well.

V xxx

 

[Pippin]

Also some ELC have feeding rooms as well.

V xxx

Marks and Spencers and all department stores usually have a feed and change room too. John Lewis have fabulous ones if you live close to one of those, magazines in there to read and everything!!! Shopping centres/Malls usually have their own as well.

 

[CocoaOne]

My HV said that although they don't advertise it, a lot of Boots stores have feeding rooms -all you have to do is ask x

 

[aurora]

I would have stood by them and done it as long as I could, huffing and puffing to make my point. lol

what would be your point? that BF mothers and babies have more right to feed in private area than FF mothers and babies? lol, if you had done that to me i would of told you were to get off, just because i feed my baby with a bottle doesnt mean you have anymore right to a seat in a feeding room than i do!

Sorry, I have a sence of humour and sometimes forget that some other people don't. I meant nothing serious about it.

Honsetly, I don't give a shit who sees my boobs, so I'd sit anywhere and feed my baby. However, I am understanding of women who are not as brave, or feel insecure about their bodies, and if I happened to be feeding expressed milk with a bottle, I'd feel awful if I knew that someone wanting to breastfeed privately had no where to go.

So literally speaking, what I said is not what I would do. I try to never take anything too seriously, and if I can make someone giggle in the process, life is good! Can't please everyone though.

 

[R8ch]

I'm really sorry, but formula or breast, I would not want to stop halfway through a feed - first come first served I'm afraid. Maybe I didn't get what you meant but I'm not sure how they would have known you wanted breastfeed unless you said so..? I would ask for another chair next time - usually places are pretty good. Although I do understand how it is hard to feed in public sometimes - I always seem to get men trying to cop a free look! Saddos, lol
Rx

 

[Belle30]

How you feel about this probably depends on personal experience! Women who understand how tough bf can be, especially in the early days (getting a good latch with a wriggly baby in an uncomfortable position without showing your boob to the world, dropping your baby on the floor, or squirting an unsuspecting passer-by) might be very sympathetic to someone who really wants the privacy and comfort of a space in a feeding room, and move to accommodate, if they felt they could feed just as easily or happily somewhere else. I'd like to think I would, remembering how nervous I was of feeding in public in the early days. Not because I think BFers have more 'right' to use feeding rooms than those feeding from a bottle, but just because it's nice to notice when someone might be more grateful for the space than you. Like old (or pregnant!) people on a bus - they don't have more 'right' to a seat than I do (OK, apart from the priority marked seats, perhaps), especially as I've paid my fare and am probably knackered from work - but as they'd probably get more benefit from a seat than I would, I'd be happy to move.
Having said that, women feeding their babies might be more focused on the baby than on what's going on around them, in which case you might have to ask directly if you feel you really need the space! You can only hope that kindness and understanding will prevail over the objective principle of equal 'rights' to use feeding rooms! I wouldn't be annoyed if someone didn't move just because I was a BFer and they weren't, but I would be upset if someone refused to move when I asked nicely and had a genuine reason, just because they wanted to make a point!

 

[MikaylasMummy]

unfortunatly with a breastfed baby if they decide to fuss and pull off before u get a chance your boob can be hanging right out there for everyone to see!if a bottle fed baby stops with its bottle at least your not naked and embarrased!i personally just fed wherever i was sitting and didnt care but in the instance that this happened i was a tad embarrased.you can follow a distracted babies head with a bottle but you cant move your boob!i would not have expected them to move however as itwould have been quite a hard feat moving with a bottle in and all the stuff that was probably out with it as well.but i do think(in australia parents rooms have the lounges with curtains around them!)that these are actually made for breastfeeding mothers as they require more privacy than a bottle feeding mother as they dont have to get private body parts out of their clothes!

 

[CocoaOne]

Boots BF policy

https://community.livejournal.com/mkbreastfeeding/37083.html#cutid1

So ask to use a managers office if they haven't got a feeding room!

 

[Blah11]

I don't think you're wrong. A lot fo BF mums feel uncomfortable or embarassed feeding in public so they really do NEED those rooms. FF mummys don't have that problem. They both have distraction problems so.. yes, I do think BF mums should be prioritised a bit.


eta - Thats not to say that i think FFers should be tossed out if a BF mum wants to go in LOL I dunno what the solution would be also there are less BF mums than there are FF mums so chances are, the rooms will be full of FFers.

 

[Boothh]

I would have stood by them and done it as long as I could, huffing and puffing to make my point. lol

what would be your point? that BF mothers and babies have more right to feed in private area than FF mothers and babies? lol, if you had done that to me i would of told you were to get off, just because i feed my baby with a bottle doesnt mean you have anymore right to a seat in a feeding room than i do!

Sorry, I have a sence of humour and sometimes forget that some other people don't. I meant nothing serious about it.

Honsetly, I don't give a shit who sees my boobs, so I'd sit anywhere and feed my baby. However, I am understanding of women who are not as brave, or feel insecure about their bodies, and if I happened to be feeding expressed milk with a bottle, I'd feel awful if I knew that someone wanting to breastfeed privately had no where to go.

So literally speaking, what I said is not what I would do. I try to never take anything too seriously, and if I can make someone giggle in the process, life is good! Can't please everyone though.

what a great sense of humour you have LOL, honestly, i dont give a shit who sees my bottle and if i was feeding my baby and someone came in wanting to BF, sure id shift up on the bench, or move my bag off the spare seat etc, but there is no WAY id be getting up and giving way for someone, i wouldnt get up until my baby was full, satisfied and ready to go , it wasnt just your comment that annoyed me so sorry if i seemed to pick you out, but some of the stuff written in here is plain ridiculous, and discriminative,

i can understand maybe why BFers would use the rooms more than FFers but it doesnt make it right that some of you would expect someone to disturb their babies feed just because you BF and think you deserve a place more,

i really dont understand why BFers seem to look down on FFers and FFers seem to put down BFers, we are feeding our baby whether out of boobies or a bottle why does it seem to make such a difference, it doesnt make any of us any better, why cant people get on with it instead of making nasty comments about the way each other feeds!

 

[Akira]

I don't get why anyone would want to use those rooms! The majority smell like dirty nappies and I would much rather sit with everyone else than go off into a private room.

Heck I feed walking around the damn shops and TBH no one really seems to give a toss. The only looks I have really had are smiles, and the only comments are positive.

 

[Celesse]

I currently breastfeed my baby in public and then give her gaviscon in a bottle. And I worry about the opinions of other mothers whether there's a nipple in her mouth or a bottle. When I'm breastfeeding I worry formula feeding mother's may think its gross, or shouldn't be done in public. When I'm giving her a bottle I worry that breastfeeder's will think I'm formula feeding her and look down on me.

I generally don't care what other people think so my worry is just a tiny voice in the back of my head which I ignore, but I can see how a lot of women will get upset. And the sad part is that if I'm going to get upset by anyone's opinion it will be other mothers. The local chav passing by, or a sweet little old lady could say what they will...meh...who cares. But when it comes to other mothers there's a real worry that we will be judged for the feeding method which-ever way we choose.

 

[Boothh]

I currently breastfeed my baby in public and then give her gaviscon in a bottle. And I worry about the opinions of other mothers whether there's a nipple in her mouth or a bottle. When I'm breastfeeding I worry formula feeding mother's may think its gross, or shouldn't be done in public. When I'm giving her a bottle I worry that breastfeeder's will think I'm formula feeding her and look down on me.

i certainly wouldnt look down on you as FFer, infact id be a little jealous that i never got to do that, i have alot of respect for anyone that BFs just a shame some of them look down on me for how i feed my son x

 

[Dragonfly]

I dont even have that voice in my head that worries about what other poeple think how I feed my child. I just get on with it and listen to ff mums tell me why they didn't or comment how shocked they are, to which I ignore all anyway I don't care. I will give two fingers to anyone that displays a problem with breastfeeding when I am breastfeeding my son or mention that I do. Thats probably why no one ever says it to me in my family now. And no one has ever breastfed in my family and for months i heard of how it was no different and how they didnt do it so they all backed off and dont bother even speaking to me now as I must be insulting them not doing the same thing. Formula feeding is just not my cup of tea at all.

 

[ellie]

i dont think anyone was being discriminatory or looking down on anyone. and i dont think it really needs to turn into 'that' endless debate
ive only used the feeding room in ikea and it was really helpful (never mind that i was in full view of one of the kitchen staff!!)
For me its never been about people seeing my boobs, but my baby has never wanted to feed anywhere except somewhere really quiet with no people and not much stimulus. when he was small he would scream and scream; now he bites me, wriggles off and and just refuses. it has caused problems as he has gone too long without feeds and had to rush off home. So, for us, a busy feeding room wouldnt be of much help, as it would be too interesting for him!
in that sense i would probably feel resentful in the samne situation as you OP, not that anyone shouldve done anything different, i would just feel annoyed that things hadnt worked out the way i wanted and that i'd had to cut our trip short!
If we're out and about these days and he needs a feed I have to hide away in the car. Then I feel bad that I 'should' be able to feed anywhere and that people might look down on me for hiding away.
Even though I'm sure that no one really cares what anyone else is doing and no one is looking down on anyone ... we're all too absorbed in our own lives and what we're doing ourselves, aren't we ....

 

[Boothh]

if you think nobody was being discriminative you clearly havnt read the thread properly

 

[lynnikins]

I FF my firstborn mostly and never used a feeding room to give him his bottle, there was simply no need so if he got distracted id cradle him and put a muslin over him and my shoulder just like if he was being BF , also i always took my own hot water in a thermos to heat my bottles or just ordered a cup of boiling water from the cafe and added it to the CBW in the bottle before adding the powder to get it up to the right temp I have never used a bottle warmer in my life,
now as a BF mum i do think that due to societys prejudices these days that specific "nursing" rooms or areas should be avalible , its alot easier to FF a baby in a cafe with small cafe style tables and chairs than it is to BF esp when the baby gets bigger, EJ already extends well off my lap when im feeding him theres no way i could do it in a normal " cafe " style chair

i know how it is to have people look at you dirty caus you are FF but ive never had a man walk past taking a good old lookie see at me giving either of the boys a bottle but ive had many walk past trying to get a peek when im breastfeeding and that tends to make me more wary of where i feed,

most probably the FF mums in the feeding room either werent aware or didnt care but that doesnt stop there being a need for BF friendly areas and i think the OP was trying to get at the point that she specifically went to Mothercare as she knew there was a feeding room to get some privacy to finish her babys feed and found 2 women there who didnt need the room for " privacy " reasons at least as they werent pulling a boob out to feed so felt justifiably annoyed that her own baby would have to either wait there for a meal or wait till they got home as she didnt feel comfortable completing the feed outside of a feeding room,

 

[MrsGlitz]

I think everyone has as much right as each other to use those rooms.

My LO won't latch in public, though he is getting there and managed to at babygroup the other day. However, he wouldn't at my friend's house later that same day with her two toddlers playing nearby. He also refused a bottle (which I always carry around in case he refuses to latch) then so we went indoors. Either method requires a reasonably peaceful environment for Harry, he is very alert and likes to take everything in. Heck even at home last night I had to turn the football off for him to feed, but he's currently happily feeding with This Morning on.