Feel like I am going to fail!!

Discussion in 'Breastfeeding' started by torch2010, Jun 3, 2011.

  1. torch2010

    torch2010 Well-Known Member

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    Hi all, I don't post here often but need some advice, or maybe a kick up the back side...not sure which.

    A little about me. I had my first daughter at barely 16. (She is now nearly 8) I had planned to breast feed her all the way through but after a difficult labour she was given a bottle. I asked the next morning if I could breast feed her and was told there was no point!!!! It was only when she was 2 that this really started to play on my mind, I contacted the hospital and complained, thankfully, due to my complaint its all changed now and they go back to parents the next morning and double check if they would like to breast feed.

    Last year I lost my son at 25+5 weeks pregnant, again I had planned to breast feed him and never got the chance.....2nd time I had failed

    Now I am 26+6 weeks pregnant and terrified that I am destined to fail at breast feeding yet again. I am so so pro BF. I actively encourage my friends to at least try it once but I am so worried I wont be able to do it, that it will be painful, that I wont have any support!!

    The local breast feeding group only meets once a month, what if I need help in-between then? Can I attend the group before my baby is born? to pick up tips and advice? I am just so confused so any advice would be great
    x
     
  2. Katt

    Katt Well-Known Member

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    Firstly congratulations! Yu must be so excited to have a lo coming soon!

    Secondly, relax! There is no reason that breastfeeding won't work for you this time.

    The group here is open to pregnant ladies too, I don't see why you wouldn't be able to go there before lo arrives!

    In the first few weeks you should have midwife support. They come every few days to start with, then less, or more if yo need it! Make sure you use this support. Get a midwife in the hospital to watch a feed, then another one you are home. Health visitors can be useful too if yo get a good one.

    The ladies on here have always got good advice too!

    I also want to say I am sorry for your loss.

    Good luck! X
     
  3. Lownthwaite

    Lownthwaite 1DD and cooking #2!

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    Hi Torch2010 :hi:

    I can totally understand your anxiety about breastfeeding. A total lack of support the 1st time round and a devestating experience the 2nd - its not supprising you're apprehensive! :hugs:

    You're own will power is what will see you through and from the sound of your post you have lots! Do not doubt yourself - you know what you want to do and if you need additional support there is always us ladies on here. :flower:

    Of course you can go to the breastfeeding support group before your LO arrives. It may help to be prepared in what to expect. :thumbup: Maybe give your local sure start centres a call and ask when their BF groups meet - you can go to more than one centre :thumbup:

    Feel free to message me if you want one to one help or support - I'm a breastfeeding champion on BnB and am more than happy to talk. :hugs::hugs:
     
  4. CeriB

    CeriB Well-Known Member

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    There is no reason BF would not work for you! Relax and enjoy!

    Just take it all one step at a time and don't put too much pressure on yourself. Make sure the hospital know you want to BF when you go in and tell them no FF - most hospitals will respect your wishes.

    I would definitely go to some BF groups! That sounds like a fab idea - you will get to see how the mums are getting on and see how they deal with problems everyone experiences. Should give you some good tips for the future!!

    Good luck and see you soon!!
     
  5. TigerLady

    TigerLady CaveTiger Clan Mama

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    :hugs:

    You didn't fail either time! The hospital and staff failed you the first time... and thereby they failed your daughter. You didn't fail. You should be proud of yourself for getting things changed there! Well done.

    As for your boy, I'm sorry you lost him. :( But that wasn't a BFing failure either. So please don't let it make you worried about this time.

    You can do it this time! Definitely. Especially as determined as you are.

    As for help -- there is always this forum, any time of the day or night. :thumbup: Go to your BF center now for sure. Tell them about your anxiety about needing help between meetings. I'll bet someone will steer you in the right direction. Maybe there is a help line of some sort or a person you can have contact with that can help you specially if needed. We don't have a BFing group here in my small town. :nope: But I always tell any new mom I know that if they need help with BFing, any time of the day or night, call me! I'll be glad to visit with them or just chat with them. Anything they need. You might find more support out there than you think if you look for it.

    :hugs:
     
  6. torch2010

    torch2010 Well-Known Member

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    Thank you all so much for your replies, I feel a little more confident now. I am going to speak to my midwife next week and ask about groups etc.

    xx
     

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