Feel like I'm begging

[Weenie19]

Ok OH and I have been together 4 years and have a 1 year old.

We discussed marriage and children and due to fertility problems decided to try for a baby first and have a wedding afterwards. (He's never officially proposed - just says we will get married).

On the basis of this I gave our daughter his surname at birth as we agreed I would soon have the same name anyway. This was a big deal for me and if marriage had not been discussed she would have taken my name.

Anyway OH has done nothing about proposing etc and I'm starting to get more than a little fed up. Even the doctors didnt recognise the baby as my child because of our different names and now I'm told if I want to take my daughter on a day trip to france I have to have written permission from her dad but because they share their last name HE can take her to any country without any permission from me!!

This is bugging me. I want a simple registry office wedding and a steak dinner afterwards. I'm not looking for a wedding - I want a marriage and to share the family name.

The problem is that now I feel like I'm begging and its so degrading. I so regret giving her his name. Ive said if we were to have another child out of wedlock it would be given my name - see how he likes it. How childish is that!!

Anyone else have to give their OH a few nudges to get things going??

 

[Baby Bell]

I'm still waiting also. My LO has oh surname as well. It bothers me a bit but purely because I feel the odd one out. When I was pregnant I wanted to double barrel LO surname but oh wanted to keep it traditional. He's always said he wants to marry me. But no proposal yet, I was talking about it a lot, then oh said he won't ask me until iv stopped talking about it I'm on two weeks of not talking about it (oh said it would be a few months before he asks bu no exact timeline as he wants to surprise me) I hope he asks soon, I really want to start saving
Anyway il have my fingers crossed your oh will ask you soon, I'm sure he's just planning a nice surprise

 

[kmbabycrazy]

I was in the same position as you and we had massive arguments about it and it turned out he had it planned all along he was just waiting for this money to come through so he could take me to this really fancy restaurant the night he proposed and so he could afford the ring I wanted. He had had it planned for 6 months before he actually did it and one of those arguments took place 3 days before his proposal. To be honest I'd just wait it out. I know now that if he hadn't told me that he'd planned it I would just feel like he'd only proposed because I'd bullied him into it. It will probably happen eventually, it's just a matter of patience I'm afraid. xx

 

[lozzy21]

Where do you live cos written permission is only needed if only one parent wanted to take the child out of the UK for more than two weeks no matter who's name she has.

 

[Weenie19]

Thank you ladies.

I'm a lot calmer today. I told OH I want to be wed before the baby starts nursery which is 2015. He said I'm going to be dissapointed but he said it in a way that was almost joking.

I'm just going to try and relax about the whole thing and see what happens. He knows I am not interested in a long engagement.

I might just start secretly saving a few pennies just in case. If he doesnt ask me I'll just buy a new car lol

 

[kmbabycrazy]

Thank you ladies.

I'm a lot calmer today. I told OH I want to be wed before the baby starts nursery which is 2015. He said I'm going to be dissapointed but he said it in a way that was almost joking.

I'm just going to try and relax about the whole thing and see what happens. He knows I am not interested in a long engagement.

I might just start secretly saving a few pennies just in case. If he doesnt ask me I'll just buy a new car lol

I did. I had a jar and when I sold something on ebay or on facebook the money went in. I started it at the beginning of the year and when he asked there was already about £200 and that was just from selling bits here and there so it paid a couple of deposits x

 

[Mummy May]

If he doesn't want to get married you could always just change your name? Xx

 

[kmbabycrazy]

My friend has actually just done that. They are engaged but they decided since they wouldn't be able to afford the wedding they wanted for a while she'd juat change her name in the meantime x