feel scared and alone :(

[gemstone]

i'm worried about mayb having to do this alone..
i thought everything was fine wiv me and my OH..
but over th last few days he has been really off wiv me and for the life of me i can't figure out wat i had done that has been so bad.
we hav had a terrible yr.. i had a majour op in jan and had to take 12 weeks out of work. finally went back and then found i was pregnant..but that quickly went pear shaped. we lost the baby at 11 weeks to mmc i had to hav keyhole surgery and everything then followed by a erpc wen it was fianlly over..
then just after that i found out was pregnant again just 6 weeks later making me 4 weeks already.
its been a up and down rollercoaster of emotion, after having a bleed at 6 weeks being told everything ok. and now i hav another scan for thursday after loss of symptons.
but the last few days my OH has been being really off wiv me. i'm worried we won't make it and so scared about doing this alone. this is my 2nd child my lil girl is 8. but i left my job to b a full time mum and b there for him.. as my job needed me to say away and photos shoots and stuff. and i new my relationship wouldn't last i had to make a choice. so chose my lil family. but if he leaves me i'm screwedto how i will keep my home and pay for things :'(
so worried as wat to do or wat mite b going on.. he has taken himself to bed alonethe last 2 nites and didn't even say gd nite.. sorry its so long just don't no wat to do wiv myself rite now.. feel like everything is crashing around me and i hav no way to stop it :'(

 

[dannyboygirl]

Im so sorry..Your in my prayers..hope everything looks up..

 

[Deutschette]

Didn't want to read and run, sweetie.

You should be open with your feelings about everything in a calm, civilised manner with your OH.

If bad comes to worse, there are housing and funding options for single parents.

 

[gemstone]

me too.. this is suppose to b a time of happiness.
but all i can do is worry myself stupid

 

[gemstone]

thanks just didn't see myself having to do it again alone.. trying to think of how i would cope wiv out my OH supporting me

 

[MissFox]

gemstone- I'm so sorry for what you are going though. My Df and I have been fighting CONSTANTLY- and just horrible to eachother since I've found out (baby was planned). I've een very emotional and started many fights with him. I've had to tell him how I'm feeling and try to be as open as I can with him. It often leads to some shout fests- and crying but in the end we've had a wonderful weekend.
Try to talk to him. Don't worry if things escalate, you can let him know how you're feeling and this could really help you get though this awkward period. Good luck and I hope everything works out.

 

[libbymarks198]

he could just be nervous and scared like you. just give him some space to think, my OH said if i stay as moody as i have been he wants to move out until bubs is born, its hard for them to they have to deal with us and our emotions.

goodluck hun

 

[ayako]

everything will be ok.
Because you have childeren and you know you just have to do what you have to do..

either way, i'm sure you'll end up fine if you do things the right way and keep fighting no mastter what ^^

my mom raised her 3 kids alone and she got pregnant at 16
if she could do it, you can too ^^

 

[thepurlqueen]

I agree that he is probably just feeling scared and overwhelmed too. Men aren't exactly pouring out their emotions usually and he may be trying to process his emotions with all that's happened and is going to come. I know it can't be easy, but try to be open with him about how you are feeling too. Working through these things will make the relationship that much stronger.

I'll be thinking of you

 

[gemstone]

thanks ladies, he left early for work today not like him at all..
i suppose i will find it in me to go alone if i need too, just didn't really want to do it.. we planned this baby also. and i haven't been too bad wiv my emotions this time.. trying not to go mad at him. but he is saying he wants another sports car and i just don't think we can affortd it to b far i tried to talk to him about it and he went nuts at me, saying i always hav to ruin wat he wants. i didn't say no.. i just asked how we r going to pay for it wiv a baby on the way??
starting to think mayb i should just keep my mouth closed.
but last nite we was playing joking around and he took wat i said to heart. said i tried to amke him look like a fool.. which i didn't try to do. he said i was being lazy and waited for him to come home go get chips to go wiv the dinner. as i didn't reliess we didn't hav any til i had already done the chick. so i said that and he didn't come back down the stairs. i don't no..just feel i like no matter wat i do or say rite now, i'm always the bad guy. after giving up my career for him and to settle down and hav ababy together and now this i'm just scared wat the future will bring x

 

[Armywife]

Oh sweetie i am so so sorry you are going through this! When i fell pregnant hubby was home on his 2 weeks R&R from Afghan, he had a pretty bad time of it over there and then came back to a pregnant hormonal wife! It was a very difficult time, i thought he should be happy to be finally home and to have a baby on the way but he was really struggling with all the change. We had the worst 5 months you could imagine, i cried every day without fail and i really thought it was only a matter of time till he left. When we went for my 20wk scan and found out i was having a girl he sulked all the way home as he'd wanted a boy! But then one day, all of a sudden things started getting better. I think it takes some men a lot longer to adjust to the thought of a baby coming along than it does for us women. I know friends who have had this problem with their husbands when they are having their 3rd baby! Anyhow, hubby now wants all girls and couldn't be a better daddy! We have the strongest relationship and it's hard to imagine we were there such a short time ago.

I know my situation is a little different to yours but not so much really. You guys have had a traumatic time and eventually it is bound to get a little much for both of you. Just take your time, stay positive and calm and remember, this is a very testing time for many couples - it's not just you. Lots of love xxxx

 

[Emmea12uk]

If that were me behaving like that, I would be crying out for attention. I would want you to come to me, concerned for me and ask if I am ok. I would want reassurance and love. Not an argument or someone who is after one.

Maybe that is what needed?

He may just be being stroppy and scared and wants someone to look after him. With all you have been through, it would have been easy for you to not notice his feelings.

 

[Emmea12uk]

Duplicate**

 

[Peril]

My DH and i have been thru a bad history with pregnancies. This one is planned and very much wanted. However, not long after i found out i was pregnant he became withdrawn snappy and moody. I was very worried. He would complain about my eating all day! (I am 12 weeks and have not put any weight on at all! Wii Fit says i am exactly the same!). I tried to tell him it was bloating and would go down and become a bump in time. We had a major fall out. Eventually i got him talking to me, and he is just plain scared that we are going to go thru the same things as before all over again! Once we had a major row (and very nearly divorced) things have gotten much much better. He is once again supportive and caring. It was just his way of trying to get his head around what was going on, and his way of trying to protect me and himself xxx

I hope that things get better, i hope that it is only a temporary blip! xxx

 

[MissFox]

My DF is waiting for a shoulder surgery and wants to lift his truck (which already wont fit a carseat). I need to sell mine and get something bigger that will better fit a child and what I want is pricey- but he thinks his lift is more important.
Boys.
But again- I'm sure everything will be fine. Really.