feel so alone :(

[Expecting1]

All my husband cares about is that he's tired and I don't say please and thank you-that I just boss him around. He keeps saying "you got what you wanted from me I might as well go".
On top of him being a selfish prick Tanner's exhausting me with his feeding-latching for 2-8 minutes and then pulling away and straining, turning bright red and fussing over gas or a poo.
I can't stop crying. My husband is being so fucking stupid right now! He's always on the internet looking at stupid videos of stupid cars and can't read one thing about babies and then when I say "my hormones are all over the place" he says "how long are you going to use that for" um until my hormones are back to normal and my body is mine again!!!
It's like he doesn't care and I feel so alone. He helps with Tanner of course and he does get me things when I need them but I mean emotionally, he's left me all alone I feel like I can't handle this I'm scared. I need someone! I can't keep sitting here hugging my baby can I?

 

[firsttime83]

The first few weeks (I would say more like 6 weeks for me) is such a huge adjustment for everyone. I don't think it was the hormones with me but more the lack of sleep. OH and I were fighting over stupid things and I was getting upset the house wasn't up to my standards or I couldn't get as much done as I would have liked through the day. I feel like OH wasn't sure how to help and he still had to go to work, so it really is hard. I was also being rude and somewhat nasty when I would get overwhelmed which looking back was clearly the worst thing to do.

If you can, have a serious conversation with OH. Tell him the small things he can do to help and explain how you feel. When I finally admitted to him this is hard and I am overwhelmed, he actually thanked me for finally saying that. OH felt like I was taking all this on and he was the only one finding it hard. Sometimes it is just hard to admit we aren't wonder woman.

 

[Expecting1]

I've admitted I can't do everything, he was still a bit shitty when I said it so his response ended up being snappy about having to change all the nappies and getting up to get Tanner when his bassinet is on my side.... I NEED him to get Tanner because 1- I can barely keep my eyes open and 2- my tailbone and lady bits are still rather sore so excessive sitting and standing hurts
I tried talking to him again over dinner and he got upset again he doesn't quite understand that he's not the only one having a rough go of it. I've taken away the early morning bottles, I wake up to feed him now, and this morning went well, he didn't bitch about getting Tanner for me and he even made me a coffee
I'm worried I may have slight PND, I'm keeping an eye on my feelings/emotions and I WILL talk to the midwife next week but hubby doesn't quite understand because it is very contradictory; one minute I'm so happy with everything we have, the next minute I'm sitting here feeling empty and crying...

 

[firsttime83]

If you are feeling overly emotional definitely keep an eye on it. I was feeling testy and a little emotional, but knew it was related to sleep and nothing more. We still have our days... it's not easy and takes a strong relationship to raise a baby.

OH actually came home from work one day and asked why the bed wasn't made I lost my sh*t at him!! The next day (it was Sunday and he was home from work) I finally left him alone with LO for a couple of hours... his whole mentality changed after that. I said if you get home and the bed isn't made the proper response is "wow honey you must have had a rough day. Take an hour or two to yourself while I look after LO".

It's such a big adjustment! I hope you guys figure it out for yourselves.

 

[Expecting1]

I am SO lucky that James can't work (it's not a good thing he has a bad back lol but in a way, I'm thankful for his injury) I could not do this alone!
He's taken almost every nappy change in the last 3 days because I just don't have the energy to do it
I think he's starting to understand. He asked what was wrong yesterday and I just shrugged (because I honestly didn't know) and he said "sad again?" I nodded and he just sat there for a while giving me cuddles..... that's really all I need sometimes!
I'm sorry you and your OH are having moments I hope when Tanner's that old were just having little moments too, I hate feeling like he doesn't care