Feel sorry for husband

[sproutly2003]

I'm just too scared to have sex in the 1st trimester. I've read it's safe, but also read it can result in bleeding, which scares the life out of me. I also really don't feel in the mood anyway, with all the aches and pain, nausea etc. Although my husband is being very understanding, I know he's gagging for it. I don't know what to do.

 

[Misscalais]

We were very active during my 1st two pregnancies and even DTD the night before I went into labour both times.
But this time I've been very ill. Trips to the ER and all day nausea.
We haven DTD for like 2 weeks now and I know it's taking a strain on my hubby. It's the longest we've ever gone and he's a very sexual person.
There's no reason why you can't have sex in the 1st tri, ( unless you've been put on pelvic rest ) just be very careful not to be rough. I found this time I ( tmi ) dry up a bit during so a water based lube is recommend if you find the same thing happens.

 

[Torsornin]

My hubby and I are in opposite boats - I am the one wanting it badly and he is the one terrified that he is going to joggle something loose (I have had mult mcs) I have always been the one with the higher sex drive in our relationship.

However, even if you cant/dont want to have out and out sex, there are other ways to be intimate that will satisfy you both. Cuddle time some sexy touching, and some, er um, alternate ways to give him an orgasm (sorry no matter how I tried to write it it sounded crass) That would help you feel safe for your pregnancy, and still help him.

Personally for me, having sex isnt so much about the big O (though I love that a lot lol) it is more for me about the kissing and the contact and the feeling loved and wanted. There are times I would be satisfied with everything but the PIV part, just because I want to be close to him. He doesnt like that. (that leaves me feeling frustrated in more ways than one)

I can respect how you both might feel in this situation. It gets tough juggling these things Hope you figure something out that works for you both

 

[petite ping]

We've dtd a few times since the BFP but it's hard to feel in the mood when I feel like crap.

At this point my OH is happy with anything I offer especially if it finishes with the word job.

 

[Rachie004]

We haven't dtd much since bfp. I almost feel like I've been switched off in that department which I find frustrating. I want to for the intimacy but the urge just isn't there.

I think OH is slightly put off because on a few occasions the aftermath has been pink, even the other night when we were extra gentle.

 

[4magpies]

We both really want it but after some spotting after just an orgasm at 4 weeks we are holding off till 2nd tri.

I can't even get myself off. So frustrating!!

Can't wait to just be able to come!! Haha.

 

[lm3898]

We finally caved and had some last Sunday at 5+5...I was SO nervous lol but it was fine, just some mild cramping for about an hour after which is supposed to be totally normal. I'm meeting with my OB on Monday so I will definitely make sure it's ok to keep doing it.

 

[Gizzyy]

Same here! Last time it caused bleeding which unfortunately progressed into a mc the next morning but I doubt that was even connected. I really want to but I think i'll ask OH to go gentle. I have orgasmed via oral stimulation and I did have cramps but no bleeding thankfully so it should be completely safe

 

[Rachie004]

Ooh, just wanted to add that I mentioned the spotting after sex to both my GP and my midwife; neither of them were concerned and the midwife said it's not abnormal

 

[4magpies]

Rachie I just cannot risk this pregnancy. It was so hard to get pregnant and I would be putting my life at risk if I had to do IVF again.

So giving up till second tri is a small price to pay. I couldn't forgive myself if something happened after sex/an orgasm.

xx

 

[Petzy]

I am 6+4 and we have dtd nearly every day of first tri so far. I had cramping once after and yesterday had a little bit of brown spotting for the first time. Not right after bd but a few hours later. So far it's not enough to worry me and I've been told it's perfectly safe. I feel that I want to take advantage of ot as much as I can just in case my symptoms worsen.

 

[Coco Tutu]

We only had sex once from the BFP till 8 weeks and it was super awkward, because we were both worried and we like it rough, but had to be gentle. Not fun, really. But then, at the 8 week appointment the midwife said it is totally normal and if I see a bit of spotting, it's because the capillaries of the cervix carry more blood now and might burst. That is not dangerous at all. We have enjoyed sex since and now that TTC is out of the way it is so passionate and enjoyable

 

[LiLi2]

We held off for a while, but I started having sex dreams and actually O-ing in my sleep! lol We have only "fooled around" since our BFP but mostly because I've been feeling poorly. We asked our OB on Monday and he said it's perfectly safe, but be careful around 26-34 weeks as it can be bad for preterm labor in about 15% of women. He said 1st tri sex is absolutely safe unless having a high-risk pregnancy.

 

[MrsWKJ]

LiLi I'm also having sex dreams and orgasms in sleep lol! I think its lack of sex may be. We haven't dtd since my bfp cuz I've had bad spells of nausea on n off and my dh also doesn't want to. He feels he'll hurt the baby although docs say its perfectly fine. Guess we'll hold it till second trimester when my MS gets better and there's less risk involved.

 

[Torsornin]

I told my hubby this could happen to me, as he wants me on total pelvic rest and it is driving me crazy.... And I forgot to ask the dr what she thought today when she called me arrrg

 

[Starry Night]

I was on doctor-ordered pelvic rest with my son's pregnancy due to bleeding and I've had other miscarriages so right now it's no hanky-panky just to be safe. We both came to the decision together so it makes it a bit better. Also, it's not much of a turn on if I barf on him. LOL I don't care how 'safe' everyone says it is. I'm not risking a single thing after so many losses. I don't even want a mild scare of spotting no matter how 'normal' that is after sex. Unless you've had a loss you can't really know the terror that little dot of pink can send through your heart. I'm not even going there.

We do have other types of fun every once in awhile. But it has to be in the morning before DS gets up because I am way too sick in the evening.

 

[Rachie004]

Rachie I just cannot risk this pregnancy. It was so hard to get pregnant and I would be putting my life at risk if I had to do IVF again.

So giving up till second tri is a small price to pay. I couldn't forgive myself if something happened after sex/an orgasm.

xx

Erm, okay? I don't think I quite understand..

I was just trying to reassure anyone who may have had spotting after sex not insisting that we all go have as much rampant sex as possible, weather we want to or not.

Everyone has different levels of what they're comfortable with and that's fine I really hope you don't think I was being an arse xx

 

[Celesse]

I've been spotting and we are on a sex ban. I have a mouth ulcer and my hands hurt.

But I am making sure OH is still satisfied,...... by going to bed early so he can stay up and wank. I'm a fab wife!!

 

[Celesse]

We both really want it but after some spotting after just an orgasm at 4 weeks we are holding off till 2nd tri.

I can't even get myself off. So frustrating!!

Can't wait to just be able to come!! Haha.

My experience of the first trimester is that sometimes your body takes matters into its own hands and gives you orgasms when your asleep. All that extra blood flow and stuff. Of course this makes for an even more frustrated partner if you tell them the details of the dream and how you are now satisfied!

 

[Linny]

I've been spotting and we are on a sex ban. I have a mouth ulcer and my hands hurt.

But I am making sure OH is still satisfied,...... by going to bed early so he can stay up and wank. I'm a fab wife!!

that just made me laugh so much

I've not been feeling it at all recently but then last night I had a really rude dream!! My OH is pretty put off sex when I'm pregnant so I don't feel too bad. In fact come second Tri il be trying to jump him x