Feeling a bit disconnected from OH - how do you keep the intimacy?

[pradabooties]

Hi ladies,

I'm almost 27 weeks and OH has been great at making me feel beautiful and sexy (somehow! Starting to get really big and feeling clumsy/awkward lol). But he's been working from about 9am - 10pm every day which I really can't complain about because he's getting financially ready for the baby (he's our sole provider because I fell pregnant while job hunting) but it's so hard because I'm usually ready to pass out by 7pm! I normally try to hold out and get to bed around 9pm then doze off and wake up to spend some time with him when he gets home but I'm so tired by then, and he often is too, it's hard to spark up any intimacy...

We've been staying in the downstairs of a family members house to save up some money and will be moving out again in a couple of weeks which I'm hoping will help things because he'll feel more at home/ease but this feeling just sucks. We "get intimate" once or twice a week still but this is quite less than pre-pregnancy and I think because I'm so emotional it just makes me feel very disconnected from him and quite lonely since I only see him for about an hour most days. He understands and isn't complaining but it just makes me sad.

Does anyone else feel this way? How do you spark up intimacy with your OH? Does anyone else feel a bit clumsy/self conscious about it once your belly's really popped?

 

[Nerdy]

Is this your first? A lot of men seem to feel that they're going to injure baby by being intimate. They'll get over it, especially if you bring it up at an OB appointment. Hubby and I have the opposite problem, we're VERY intimate throughout pregnancy and now I've been put on pelvic rest because of a low placenta. It's reminded us that there are other ways to be intimate without sex, we cuddle while watching movies, read to one another, it's really nice... And it's made us a bit more adventurous when it comes to satisfying his needs.

 

[lozzy21]

It's just hormones. We had a very active sex life pre pregnancy. In the first trimester I couldn't stand any sort of intimacy from him at all. Even an innocent hug made me want to punch him. I'm now nearly 18 weeks and have stopped wanting to hurt him every time he touched me but my sex drive is still pretty none existent. I was like this all the way through with my first and it picked up again after she was born.

 

[pradabooties]

Thanks ladies
It is our first but he's definitely aware that he can't injure the bub haha - I've had incredibly increased sex drive since becoming pregnant, particularly around 4 months pregnant we were very very active. I think I've just got to that stage where I'm really tired and feeling huge which doesn't really make me feel ready to go / desirable.

 

[MyFavSurprise]

I had that issue for a while and it is so hard. My fiance was so stressed out at work that he would come home late and just go to sleep...once or twice a week just wasn't cutting it for me either, I had to talk to him and explain how I was feeling unattractive and it's hard.. it didn't change right away but he was very understanding and explained what he was feeling at work, and now a couple weeks later we are doing so much better. It is really rough and im sorry you're going through that too, but I hope it passes soon.

 

[Left wonderin]

I'm with Lozzy !!! Even a hug makes me want to pull away at the moment !!!! My poor OH ain't getting any ....... Any time soon lol....... Hormones funny things !!!! Try not to worry . Does oh know your feeling this way .... Maybe share it with him ... Sometimes talking is the MOST intimate thing we can do with our oh . I'm sure he would want to know and help reassure you xxxxxxxxxx

 

[DaisyDreamer]

No belly yet but I definitely know the feeling of awkwardness and clumsyness. Syncing up schedules can be tough if he is working later than you can stay awake.

The best thing would be to just talk to your DH about how you are feeling and be mindful that he is probably under a lot of pressure too. He's the only one that can make you feel better about this sort of stuff. Maybe there is a middle ground between sex and no-sex, like a nice intimate massage or bathing/showering together, that will get you feeling like the beautiful mama you are