Feeling a bit useless now... :(

[rocksy2185]

I'd say this was a ranty post but I'm more upset than angry...

By trade I'm a graphic designer, also do a bit of programming on the side. I'm working from home at the moment due to pg and problems, which means a cut in pay but less stress, and all I seem to do is sit/lie around but I get so tired! So earning less and feeling really paranoid that everyone just thinks I'm a lazy cow I'm generally feeling a bit crap and emotional.

Had a good nights sleep, and this morning I find out I have a day off so I thought I'd do some personal projects I've been putting off. So I find out all our finances and decide to make a Budget Spreadsheet for up until the baby is born. There's a simple way to do it, but I wanted to test myself, write some complexish code and get something working - it's been 5/6 years since I used Excel so I was relearning a lot of stuff - but, as usual with men, OH was sure he knew how to do it faster so I explained to him it's not about how fast I can get it done, it's about needing to feel like I have a purpose at the moment, like I can produce something useful and I can overcome this damn baby brain!!! Even if it takes all day! So I told him to go sit in another chair and stop looking over my shoulder - I kept getting that feeling like he was going to butt in at any moment...

So, I'd been working on it for 2 hours, really enjoying getting to grips with it all again. I started talking to him about it - didn't ask his help, he asked where I'd got upto, so I showed him where I was stuck. Within a few minutes he'd taken the laptop off me, filled in several boxes, clicked a few buttons and done it... I kept trying to say "That's not what I wanted, stop a second..." but he just kept saying "Give me a moment..." and shutting me up...

I had a go, got really upset. He told me to erase what he'd done and carry on. But what's the point? I wanted to do something to impress him. If he can do it already, why bother?

How friggin useless am I - just sit here with my bump, watch movies and eat crap all day. Can't even do my job properly. Sigh.

Stupid men.

 

[filibear]

You are not useless, your man is being....well, a man. My DH does this loads, I had a problem with an access database and as our PC's at work are crap I took it home to work on from home I was enjoying getting to grips with it again until I went to get some tea and DH finished it for me as a favour. Dont hold it against him, he thought he was trying to help. and FWIW I wish I could go back in time and kick bill gates in the nads, most office packages are rubbish and overcomplicated.

 

[rocksy2185]

You are not useless, your man is being....well, a man. My DH does this loads, I had a problem with an access database and as our PC's at work are crap I took it home to work on from home I was enjoying getting to grips with it again until I went to get some tea and DH finished it for me as a favour. Dont hold it against him, he thought he was trying to help. and FWIW I wish I could go back in time and kick bill gates in the nads, most office packages are rubbish and overcomplicated.

Here here!!!!

I'll get started on the time machine - but the onboard pc will probably run on Windows... Fundamental flaw!!!

 

[LoisP]

Firstly, let me say, I envy you so much, my dream is to be a graphic designer, but I messed up at school, didn't bother with college because I got myself a stupid older boyfriend, that didn't want me to succeed in anyway and preferred me to stay at home and not have a life. (luckily that idiot is well and truly out of my life, and i have a wonderful OH now ) ANYWAYS...
Your not useless at all! And as 'filibear' said, your man, is just being a man! hope things get better, just remember your not useless!

 

[2016]

How can you feel useless? Well I know how becuase I often feel the same too! I work in IT and am really struggling to do just about anything - really tired and weak and just can't get my brain to focus. Also used to be quite physically fit and ride my horse every day, haul huge bags of hay/feed around and now I get out of breath just walking him up the road for 10 minutes!

But you know what? We aren't useless! We are growing human beings inside of us - how cool is that! A man couldn't even begin to do this job....it's like the Navy 99.9% need not apply!
My OH dared to call me lazy the other day when I flopped down on the sofa after spending most of the day painting the nursery. I told him that I am never doing nothing....even when I sleep I am growing a baby - HIS BABY! So he better just back off and appreciate it a bit more!

 

[rocksy2185]

Nice of you to say, suppose it's just hormones. Pre-pregnancy I'd just have smacked him the head and told him to leave the room, a bit less politely!

Lois, why don't you go back to college now? There are plenty of distant learning courses to do at home too - and if you haven't been to Uni you can claim student loans, free childcare, grants for mature students. It's all out there. If it's your dream, you really should give it a go, it's very fulfilling!

If you want any advice just PM me

And 2016, isn't it a little depressing - I used to go to the gym everyday, walk everywhere, do an hours Wii Fit every day too... Loved it. Now I'm considering buying a load more pairs of pyjamas because I seem to be in them so much! And, I'd just like to say, the person who invented elastic is my hero...

xx

 

[LoisP]

Thank you! Will definitely have to look into it, I took graphics at school and loved it. Would be amazing to do it as a profession, just need to get my foot in the door somehow. Will have to talk to my local jobcentre about the whole loans and childcare thing.