Feeling a little Sensitive - Support please

[littlestar]

I'm off to a maternity leave meal tonight for my bils/gf who is just 4 weeks away from her EDD.

I don't know how many people will be there but as she works for FIL currently he is the one putting on a big sit down meal and quiet a few family and friends have been invited. I knew it was going to be hard for me to be there anyway, but we agreed to go as not to cause any fuss. but i'm feeling really emotional at the moment especially as we have our first FS appointment on Wednesday.

I really don't think i'll be able to hold myself together if someone turns round to us tonight and asks us when we're planning on having kids, i feel like i'll just go to pieces or have to leave the table.

When we agreed to come to the 'party' last week we didn't know if it was going to be a buffet or a sit down - a buffet would have meant i could divert away from the offending query by finding someone else to talk to but if i'm sat next to the person how do i escape! i'm really starting to panic and feel like i can't handle this at the moment. i've already cried three times about this meal today!

I know i'm probably being over-sensitive but Hubby doesn't understand, he can't comprehend how it makes me feel knowing that we'd been trying for 3-4 months when we found out she was pg with a surprise baby, and the fact that she's almost ready to give birth makes me feel like crap - i'd hoped i'd be pregnant by now! but it ain't happening!

 

[x_Rainbow_x]

o hunni i hope nobody asks and the evening isnt to uncomfortable for you

 

[Puddleduck]

Good luck littlestar I hope the evening goes OK for you. Horrible situation and I have had to endure one or two of these before and I didn't enjoy them although after a few glasses of wine it wasnt as bad as I thought it would be.

 

[latestarter]

I hate, hate, hate those situations. Hopefully no one will ask, and you can enjoy the meal.

I was out with some friends the other day, and she is PG. Said something insensitive, and I just out and told her that hearing what she had to say was really hard on me, and before she speaks she should put herself in my shoes. I didn't mean to go off in public like that, but man - I sure felt better.

And it also opened up the dialogue with my friend, and we are all good. It might be how I always approach that situation now. Even though I didn't intend to this time.

Good luck with your dinner.

 

[Farie]

I really hope it goes ok

 

[JASMAK]

I am so sorry. You see, I just tell people the way it is. Not everyone can just get pregnant, and we are trying very hard, and it makes me sad when you talk about it. That pretty much puts people in their place, but also shows them that it isn't easy for everyone. I know that is not how everyone wants to handle situation, and perhaps isn't the best place. But, it is a rude question, IMO. Hugs...hope it goes well tonight.

 

[snugglebot]

I HATE those situations too and I have only been trying 7 cycles. I read on another thread this one and used it. In response to the question, when are you going to have kids -asked by someone's husband - I replied in a joking voice "Are you asking if we have sex...because we do"...

He kind of got red and said "Noooo!" but everyone else laughed ...I think the ladies kind of knew where I was going with his question, and so they dropped it...the guy were a bit embarrassed by my answer and so left it alone. I hope the ladies told their men later that night that it was probably a sensitive topic for me and my DH and so probably not to raise it anymore...

 

[cinnamum]

I HATE those situations too and I have only been trying 7 cycles. I read on another thread this one and used it. In response to the question, when are you going to have kids -asked by someone's husband - I replied in a joking voice "Are you asking if we have sex...because we do"...

He kind of got red and said "Noooo!" but everyone else laughed ...I think the ladies kind of knew where I was going with his question, and so they dropped it...the guy were a bit embarrassed by my answer and so left it alone. I hope the ladies told their men later that night that it was probably a sensitive topic for me and my DH and so probably not to raise it anymore...

excellent idea! yeh i'd go with that! i hate being asked when the next one is coming! cant we just enjoy this one???? (do really badly want another) good luck with it hun x x x x you can always kick them under the tale lol oops sorry

 

[littlestar]

Thanks for all the support ladies, luckily i didn't get asked but there was some rather opinionated conversation going round the table regarding childcare etc once the babies were born (my Bro and his GF were there too so i was in full presence of two pregnancy bumps!)
I managed to avoid joining in with the 'why have a baby and then leave in a nursery for someone to raise for you from 5 weeks old debate' - but that's another story.

i didn't drink either, so i felt i'd achieved quiet a bit in terms of my handling the situation.

 

[snugglebot]

Pfewf! Glad to hear supper went reasonably well. Good job!

 

[celine]

Ahh sweets Im so sorry that must of been hard for you but you seem to have handled it so well

 

[littlestar]

I thought i'd handled the meal quiet well - though i did get a rare home visit from my mum yesterday who happened to be in the area. as my brother noted i wasn't quiet myself at the meal.
Well that did it! waterworks went into overload!

I told her how Hubby didn't quiet understand how it's going to get harder for me when the babies are actually here. i meant they're going to be actually here FFS, not in belly but in full undeniable flesh, there's no denying that - at least whilst their still pg i can ignore the bumps for a little while and chat about other things!