feeling bad for not wanting to breastfeed

[isil]

So Alasdair is still being fussy and for whatever reason refusing to take more than 30mls from the bottle. Even though he's been taking 210mls (7ozs) regularly for weeks. Infact, before this recent development, I'd barely been breastfeeding him at all.

I just don't want to breastfeed him. I hate how it makes me feel and in the long run that can't be good for him. can it?

Rang the health visitor today to ask for advice about it all. My usual one wasn't there (I already knew this) so I just spoke to a random one who said that breast is best and that I'll just have to keep giving him boob now.

I'm so upset. I just don't want to exclusively breastfeed. I thought I might but seriously, no.

He cries all the time. It's not helped by the fact he has a rotten cough and cold but I don't think he's getting enough from the boob.

Sorry I know noone has answers. I just feel so awful

 

[cupcake]

Could you try a combination, like 30 mls from the bottle and then 10 minutes on the breast? OR possibly you could pump out milk for him, that way he is still getting breast milk if that is why you feel guilty, but i understand it doesnt solve the bottle problem.
Right now if your baba has a cold i would say dont make any major changes, wait til hes feeling well. He might just be refusing the bottle because he doesnt feel well or wants comfort. one last suggestion is to let him lie next to your skin like he would if you were nursing and give him the bottle that way, that might comfort him.
P.s. a humidifier was recommended to me for a cold to help them breathe better.

 

[Neecee]

Is there a reason why you feel you can't breastfeed him?

 

[isil]

The thing is, I haven't changed anything major...he's changed it! He was having maybe 2 5 min breastfeeds a day mainly for comfort I think. The rest bottle. He was in a nice little routine that he'd got himself into. Then wham, bam...he doesn't want the bottle. The only way I've managed to get him to take it at all is to breastfeed, unlatch him, then put the bottle in. He'll suck for a bit then start screaming til I put him back on the breast.

It's not that I can't physically breastfeed. I just don't want to. He's such a big baby and so hungry all the time and I don't like feeling completely responsible for him. My OH isn't here a lot but when he is just being able to hand him over and getting him to feed Ally really helps me.

I tried him with expressed milk in the bottle and it made no difference.

Just don't understand how he was so happy on the bottle before and now isn't. I'll try to just be guided by him until he does feel better. It's just frustrating for me (I sound so selfish, I know). Poor little sausage has his first immunisations on wednesday too.

 

[reallytinyamy]

oh hun, for once I dont know!!

I just wanted to say what a stupid, stupid woman that HV sounds like. What kind of advice is that to give to someone asking for help. Like we havent aready had it drummed into us all that 'breast is best'.

Please dont feel guilty that you dont want to BF, I'm with you on that score, but I dont have any advice for you zon getting Ally to take a bottle I'm afraid.

Out of interest, what bottles/teats do you use?

 

[Serene123]

The thing is, I haven't changed anything major...he's changed it! He was having maybe 2 5 min breastfeeds a day mainly for comfort I think. The rest bottle. He was in a nice little routine that he'd got himself into. Then wham, bam...he doesn't want the bottle. The only way I've managed to get him to take it at all is to breastfeed, unlatch him, then put the bottle in. He'll suck for a bit then start screaming til I put him back on the breast.

It's not that I can't physically breastfeed. I just don't want to. He's such a big baby and so hungry all the time and I don't like feeling completely responsible for him. My OH isn't here a lot but when he is just being able to hand him over and getting him to feed Ally really helps me.

I tried him with expressed milk in the bottle and it made no difference.

Just don't understand how he was so happy on the bottle before and now isn't. I'll try to just be guided by him until he does feel better. It's just frustrating for me (I sound so selfish, I know). Poor little sausage has his first immunisations on wednesday too.

I'd say I had the same problem but to me it wasn't a problem. If Caitlyn wanted to feed from me then I wasn't going to stop her. I wanted to BF though.

 

[isil]

Thanks Amy, my usual HV is so nice as well. It sucks that she is not there this week! I've actually met the HV I spoke to on the phone - she is one of those old fuddy duddy HVs...

We use tommee tippee CTN bottles but he also takes the nuby tommee tippee bottles fine. Or used to. Now he won't have either.

I'm so worried about him. If I didn't have my postnatal check on wed I'd be taking him to the drs anyway. He is drowsy like he was when he was jaundice and dehydrated and so bad tempered when he stirs

If he is like this tomorrow or gets worse I might call the drs anyway. The worst they can think is that I'm some hypochondriac mother...

 

[isil]

I remember you didn't want to breastfeed when you were pregnant, Toria and now you're fine with it...I wish I'd been that way around. I was so keen on BF when I was pregnant and now I'm just rubbish at it and the thought of having him want to BF all the time makes me feel sick.

 

[Serene123]

Every mother is a hypochondriac.

Sorry if this sounds like prying, but what would be so bad about breast feeding him? If that's what he really wants?

 

[Serene123]

Oh right, yeah. I love breast feeding. I'm sure if I didn't I wouldn't want to do it. Have you tried different bottles? It might be that the milk comes out the bottle too fast?

 

[sam's mum]

Ignore that HV...if he's been fine on bottles until now they are probably not the issue, and she should not be telling you how to feed your son if you are uncomfortable with it. You said he's not very well, and usually if they aren't feeling themselves the feeding is the first thing to be affected. Especially if he's a bit blocked up and is finding it harder to breathe while he's feeding. You might find that once he starts feeling a bit better he'll be taking just as much as before from the bottles. Just make sure he doesn't get dehydrated x

 

[tinytoes]

It's not that I can't physically breastfeed. I just don't want to. He's such a big baby and so hungry all the time and I don't like feeling completely responsible for him. .

but you are responsible?

Even if it's hard I think you should try again, even if it's just for a while until baby decides he wants to feed from the bottle. I know mine used to take teh bottle but now refuses. It's my job to feed him.. its just the way i see it. i love it now but hated it for a while..i was sooooo sore.

Breast feeding wouldnt be for ever anyway...

 

[sam's mum]

Will he actually feed from you but not the bottle? I thought you meant he just wasn't taking as much as he was before? x

 

[Samantha675]

Maybe he needs a different nipple on the bottle? Maybe the flow is not fast enough or maybe become too fast for him?

Not sure love, I hope you can work it out.

Also, saline water drops can help with his stuffy nose. Might help.

 

[Arcanegirl]

Bethanylee has clearly stated she doesnt want to go back to BFing so whay are some of you trying to force har back into it when she clearly doenst want to?
Force might be a harsh word but that is what its coming across to me.

Save the lectures and just give advice where needed but please dont try and force members into doing something they clearly stated they dont want to do.

(i dont know why this is all underlined stupid thing, i cant turn it off)

--

EDIT ^ I turned it off lmao!!! Wobbles x

 

[Vickie]

Ignore that HV...if he's been fine on bottles until now they are probably not the issue, and she should not be telling you how to feed your son if you are uncomfortable with it. You said he's not very well, and usually if they aren't feeling themselves the feeding is the first thing to be affected. Especially if he's a bit blocked up and is finding it harder to breathe while he's feeding. You might find that once he starts feeling a bit better he'll be taking just as much as before from the bottles. Just make sure he doesn't get dehydrated x

I agree with Sam's mum, if he's not feeling well that's going to affect how much he is eating. He could also be having an off day. There are days when Hannah eats less (sometimes a lot less) than usual. She usually makes up for it the next feed, or sometimes the next day.

And please everyone let's give advice to bethanylee, not try to talk her back into breastfeeding if that's not what she wants

 

[1st_baby]

I understand you hun I was the same I wanted to BF max real bad but when i saw it was nto working well I stopped now im slowly empting out the girls and thats it im done hes 4 months s hes had enough ..

 

[ryder]

Dont have much advice for you, but you should not feel bad about not wanting to BF... You have done a great job so far with the BF you have been able to do.

I doubt the bottle has alot to do with your babies issues, he sounds like he is simply not feeling well and if he stressed out then it is difficult to do anything with them. Although you could try different bottle nipples?

Good luck! And no one else (on here or in real life) has any right to try and convince you to do something you arn't comfortable with.

 

[princess31]

Have you tried giving him the bottle first before resorting to the breast? If he's that hungry he'll probably have it in the end, keep trying! I had a nightmare evening with my LO yesterday he wouldn't take the bottle and I was empty. In the end he managed to have enough to settle himself but it was a bit of a struggle.

 

[tinytoes]

i wasnt trying to force you to bf. just saying my LO also went off the bottle too. he used to have one every night before bed as it helped him - and me - get more sleep in one go each night. But one day he just refused to take moe than 20ml. and it was the same for the following few nights til i stopped trying. Babies just love boobies sometimes...

i got the impression LO simply didnt like formula as much as boobie. just my experience. so i give him what he wants.

good luck finding your solution. hope you have a happy baby