Hellylou
Mum to 3 and 1 Angel
- Joined
- Sep 9, 2011
- Messages
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Hi ladies...
It's my turn to vent a little. I hope you don't mind. I'm just feeling a bit down and starting to lose the hope that has been keeping me afloat this far.
I have a kidney condition which is ok at the moment but can have implications later on. It went into remission last year, and was controlled by meds until I got pregnant, but I had to stop the drugs because they are harmful in pregnancy (by the way the kidney thing was nothing to do with the loss). I haven't been back on the medication yet because my bp has been low and I am still weak. We are on a 'wait and see' with the kidneys to see how they are doing. During the pregnancy my protein leak was gradually going up (not good) and we knew this but the idea was it was only for 9 months and once baby arrived I could get back on meds, hoping there was no permanent damage, or pre eclampsia. So basically I was high risk BEFORE it all went wrong...
I saw my kidney consultant today and they took all the tests etc, results to come in a few weeks, but we discussed the possibility of trying again. He said no way until he sees me again in 3 months and we will talk about it then, but I have to get my kidneys back to normal before I even try, and there is a chance things could be getting progressively worse now.
I am so terrified that this was my one and only chance and it's gone. If my kidneys are damaged now, it feels like not only am I never going to be pregnant again, but that all this damage has been done for nothing. And knowing I can't even think about trying again for a while is killing me, because I think it was this hope that was keeping me sane. I wanted to maybe try before christmas, but now I know I was just kidding myself.
I feel really low right now. I should be halfway through my pregnancy, and now I am nowhere, and worse healthwise than before I got pregnant.
It's my turn to vent a little. I hope you don't mind. I'm just feeling a bit down and starting to lose the hope that has been keeping me afloat this far.
I have a kidney condition which is ok at the moment but can have implications later on. It went into remission last year, and was controlled by meds until I got pregnant, but I had to stop the drugs because they are harmful in pregnancy (by the way the kidney thing was nothing to do with the loss). I haven't been back on the medication yet because my bp has been low and I am still weak. We are on a 'wait and see' with the kidneys to see how they are doing. During the pregnancy my protein leak was gradually going up (not good) and we knew this but the idea was it was only for 9 months and once baby arrived I could get back on meds, hoping there was no permanent damage, or pre eclampsia. So basically I was high risk BEFORE it all went wrong...
I saw my kidney consultant today and they took all the tests etc, results to come in a few weeks, but we discussed the possibility of trying again. He said no way until he sees me again in 3 months and we will talk about it then, but I have to get my kidneys back to normal before I even try, and there is a chance things could be getting progressively worse now.
I am so terrified that this was my one and only chance and it's gone. If my kidneys are damaged now, it feels like not only am I never going to be pregnant again, but that all this damage has been done for nothing. And knowing I can't even think about trying again for a while is killing me, because I think it was this hope that was keeping me sane. I wanted to maybe try before christmas, but now I know I was just kidding myself.
I feel really low right now. I should be halfway through my pregnancy, and now I am nowhere, and worse healthwise than before I got pregnant.
coming your way. I'm so sorry that your having problems, sometimes life really isn't fair.
) last time, but ideally I should have been off them way before. My consultant says this time we need to really prepare for a future pregnancy instead of what happened last time, which was basically a firefighting exercise after the event.
