Feeling Defeated-- UPDATED =)

[Beltane]

I have been meaning to come in here for a while now but have been too upset to write about it. My 10 year old is hitting a rough stage where he is lying compulsively and it's literally making me sick to my stomach. He doesn't make up stories or anything like that. He lies when I question him about certain things. It's really upsetting. I have grounded him,threatened to send him to military school, screamed at him, taken away all of his video games, tv, telephone and have even gone as far as taking away his favorite activity- which is drawing. Nothing works. I want to make sure he turns out okay and I have very high standards. My parents didn't stay on top of me and I took a really wrong turn in life. He doesn't have any friends because he socially lacking in that area. On top of it, his biological father whom he sees on the weekends condones this behavior! He won't punish him or do anything because it's a popularity contest to him. My son is in the advanced and mentally gifted programs and excells wonderfully in school though. I wish I had the answers. . I love my son so much. Thanks for listening

 

[Jenny]

I can't give you any advice as I have no experience other than my son who is just starting to. Just wanted to send you some positive vibes!

I think all children go through a lying phase. I know I did, and my son in a blue moon will lie but he gets a time out if he does. It works for now but I'm sure when he's 10 that I'll be pulling my hair out too.

Maybe take him out on a alone day with you. Just you and him and nobody else? maybe to an art museum seeing as he loves to draw. Maybe that's all he needs? Could it possibly be that he might be reacting due to jealousy of the baby?

Hope you're feeling better!

 

[Beltane]

That's a great idea. I expected him to be jealous since he's been an only child for so long but he actually took to it like a natural. He adores the baby and never shows even a pinch of jealousy. He voluntarily occupies the baby, feeds him, offers to push the stroller- guess I got lucky on that one! Thanks for the support- I feel better already!

 

[belladonna]

Is he being bullied or are there any other problems at school?

 

[MoonMuffin]

Is he being bullied or are there any other problems at school?

That's a good question, maybe talk to his teachers and see if they say anything, maybe they've noticed something? It's really tough if his dad is letting him get away with it, because he sees it as ok, even if you say no his dad thinks its ok and maybe he's at the age where he really wants to be like dad? Have you talked to his father about it?
But as an artist, please don't punish him by not letting him draw, drawing is more then a fun activity, it's away to deal with stress and can be very therapeutic, so taking that away could backfire. Sticking to the TV/games should be enough, it sounds like there could be some underlying issue though. Good luck

 

[angela43]

I have a 14 yr old, and there certainly are stages as they mature.

One thing that really helped my daughter with the social stuff was to get involved in a "sport" outside of school. It gave her another place to have friends, be herself etc. The music program has also been very very positive. Again more friends with common interests, but not a lot of pressure to be 'social'. Hang in there.

 

[Beltane]

Just an update- as school as the school year started- he did a 180 and is an absolute angel. No more lying-- at all! I think it was lack of structure. He has even been accepted into the mentally gifted program! Thanks for everyone who commented and gave well wishes to us. He's like a brand new kid!

 

[Dinoslass]

Hi!

I am glad to hear things turned out okay. So you see, sometimes things are not there to stay, fortunately.
Well done on him for getting in the mentally gifted program!!!!!