Feeling dissapointed & frustrated

[Summerbreeze1]

I'm just looking for some support and understanding, because right now I feel alone.

I'm 30 (I don't have any children) and I've wanted a baby for about 3 years but I held off because my boyfriend wasn't ready. After a few heart to hearts, he finally agreed last year to start trying and he's now come around to idea of becoming a dad.

So we've been TTC since November 2012, but since then I've had the worst year of my life.

I fell pregnant in March 2013 but had a MMC in April. I was 11.5 weeks and I found out at my 12 week scan that the fetus had no heartbeat. I had a D&C to remove it and it was heartbreaking.

Then, 2 weeks after my D&C my mother died very suddenly. She was only 61. It was devastating. After that my periods stopped. I had nothing for months. I saw my gynocologist and he said it was probably caused by grief and stress and prescribed me Progesterone to kick start my system. This worked thank god, and now I am getting periods again but they are very irregular some cycles are as long as 42 days.

So now we care finally trying again in the hope that I am ovulating again and could conceive.

The problem I have now is how sad I feel because I know so many pregnant women. I can't get away from it, I have it at work, there are endless scan pictures and announcements on social media sites. Almost all of my friends are expecting, and those that are not already have babies. I'm so frustrated and I just wish that my life wasn't turned upside down right at the time we said we would try for a family.

 

[jcan2]

I feel the same exact way... we just found out yesterday that my husbands step sister is 2 months pregnant with her 4th child... it was heartbreaking because they make it look so easy. My husband and I have been trying since December 2012 and we have had no luck... but in that time I have watched so many girls I know get their positive tests. Everyone asks us constantly if we are having a baby yet and it is just like putting salt on our wound, disappointment after disappointment, and the constant reminder.

I know how heartbreaking it is, and you are not alone. Keep trying and don't give up!!

 

[Summerbreeze1]

Thank you.

I think that is all I need to hear that there are other women out there that are struggling and its not only me.

All I see or hear at the moment are other peoples success stories. Receiving text messages saying 'guess what.. I'm pregnant' or seeing scan pics on social networking sites. Its driving me mad because most of these announcements are good friends or nice people and I feel ashamed of feeling jealous.

You know the worst part of all is that alot of people know we are trying because of our MMC earlier this year. They know we want kids. So we can't even do the whole 'Surprise' thing like other people are doing right now. I feel so exposed like people are watching and waiting for our news. Only there isn't any news

I also feel like women are so competitive over this, and with some its like they can't wait to gloat about how fast it happened etc. But maybe this is in my head because I am the one feeling inadequate.

Well I do hope you conceive soon because I know its heart wrentching to hear of other peoples joys and not be celebrating yourself.. Lets hope we get our moment soon.

P.S - Do you have any ideas why you are not falling pregnant? Have you been to see the Doctor?

Good Luck!

 

[jcan2]

That is exactly why I joined this site... because I need and want support from other women who are going through the exact same thing. All of my close girlfriends have already had children, and they had absolutely no problem conceiving, so its hard for them to understand what I am going through. They laughed at me when I told them I had bought a baby outfit for good luck, it made me feel horrible, like I was doing something so wrong.

I was diagnosed with PCOS in February, but I know I have had it longer than that... I stopped birth control when my husband and I got engaged, which was in April of 2010. I haven't had a regular cycle since. My cycles are normally 90+ days, but I started taking chastberry and my cycles have come down to about 50-60 days.

I know exactly how you feel, because I feel the same exact way. My cousin is having her baby shower next month and I am so completely jealous, she is four years younger than me and conceived her first month trying. When I told her we had been trying for 6 months at the time, she just laughed. She is the first one out of my cousins and myself to fall pregnant and everyone keeps saying they thought I would be the first, because I am the oldest. The constant reminders. Heartbreaking I've even deleted people on my FB because they constantly update their pregnancy status and scan pictures.
I'm so sorry to hear about your MC and your mother. That is so heartbreaking
Do you know why you haven't been able to conceive since? Do you think it is just because of irregular cycles?

Our month will come, and we will be able to tell everyone our good news. Sadness and stress will not help in conceiving, so we need to keep each other up and keep our fingers crossed that there will be some good news very soon! Keep doing the dance and keep your head up! I hope you conceive soon!!