Feeling down; rantish :)

[MoBaby]

Hey girls! I've been on the boards for a while now. Me and DH started trying nearly 2 years ago and found out quickly that he has severe oligospermia. I have normal fertility except a slight uterus anomly which the dr says shoud not be a big issue. Anyways, we have underwent 3 unsuccessful cycles of IVF with ICSI, most recently found BFN last week. I do have a frozen transfer scheduled in November as we were lucky enough this time to have some frosties but I still can't shake this feeling

I am part of a thread on the assisted conception side (well, a few) and all the girls seem to be getting their BFPs on the first try of IVF, a lot of them twins!! I am a healty, 30 year old female, with no issues and with good embryos and I am still not pregnant!! I try to distance myself from the threads because every girl on there has a pretty little ticker saying how far along they are and an ultrasound pic of their baby and me, I have nothing! I have nothing except nearly $40K gone and no baby. I hate to feel this way because I am extremely happy for them but very jealous and angry I don't have what they have.
My sister is on her second child since I have started this journey. My brother and his wife just had twins. My BFF is due next month and all my friends have had 1+ children since I have started.

I am really struggling right now and really need to keep it together to work towards this next cycle. I just want one baby; I don't need twins (although that would be great). I just want something to go in DH and my favor for once. I dont understand why things are not working they way they should.

We have 4 embryos left. If we dont have BFP by the end, we are switching clinics even though I really like my doctor. IF there are no obvious reasons for failure, then we should have a baby. And I dont feel like my dr is doing anything to figure out why it fails. "Bad luck".

Anyways, I just needed to rant and get this out and I didnt know where else to put it. Thanks for reading!

 

[HearMyPrayers]

I'm sorry hon! and I know the feeling of feeling defeated! It seems like everywhere you look its someone else announcing their pregnant, or just had a baby....I think we say it all the time but you have to believe it stay positive that it will happen! and if it means switching clinics and doctors that you must do what will get you the results your looking for! I say it all the time but as soon as we are holding those sweet little miracles in our arms all of this struggle will seem effortless and so well worth it! Just keep the mental picture in your head and keep pressing towards your goals, be humble and thankful all the time! Its tough to see all the tickers and everyone elses success but you must smile and press on!