Feeling down today

[Snowball]

I posted on here a couple of weeks ago that I was a bit angry with DH because he told his mum about us being pregnant when I asked him not to say anything until the first tri was over. Anyway he told her not to tell me and when I saw her she kept asking questions deliberately trying to catch me out.

I was talking to DH last night and he was saying how his mum has now told his nan and she is not happy about it. When I questioned him further apparentely his mum is not happy about it either. I'm sure termintaion would have been mentioned it as she said to me about it when I found out I was pregnant last time. This really upsets me because really it has nothing to do with them and why can't they at least pretend to be happy for us.

I know my family will probably be the same, all dissapointed that we haven't stopped at two kids which is why I haven't told them yet.

What is the most horrible is pregnancy is a time I should be enjoying and each time I've been pregnant I've spent it dreading what everyone else will think. When I told my parents last time I was shaking with fear of what they were going to say. Why should I though? I'm just getting fed up with it. How anyone who has just has been told they are going to be a nanny again can even think about suggesting termination is beyond me.

 

[anita665]

Really it's none of their business and if you're happy thats all that matters!! Families seem to think that they have more of a right to get involved than they really do.

 

[seashell]

I'm sorry the grandparents arent being more supportive snowball, please try not to worry about what they think though,all that matters is that you and your OH are happy

 

[salmynka]

sorry about the meanies, that's not fun to contend with at the same time as all the hormone surges of pregnancy, we're all happy for you and babybeanbump

i don't think my sort of OH is even going to tell his parents (they are about 80 i think, never even met them) cause i don't think they'd be overjoyed either (long story lol)

your probably feeling worse about it because of your raging hormones, just think of lovely babybeanbump and how happy it'll be to be here! xxx

 

[babe2ooo]

awww i'm so sorry you have to put up with that, my mum wasnt that happy when i told her but she sees how happy i am and she say if i'm happy then she is to which is wot you OH mum should be saying to you, its funny cause she wansnt that happy but now shes the one buys stuff, so maybe she will become happy for you

 

[Vickie]

It is absolutely none of there business how many children you have! Hopefully once the baby is born they will come around

 

[leeanne]

I honestly don't understand why they would be so ill-spirited about another baby. Why are they acting like this? I am fuming just hearing this is happening.

Do you normally get along with OH's family?

This is just unbelievable and I am so sorry that you have to go through this. It is both of your choice to have another baby....not theirs. Why can't some people just shut their mouths up!?

ETA. And what bothers me is you have such a good heart that you are sparing your sister from your good news in order for her to get over the pain of her misfortune. Yes, no one know about it, but still!

 

[Snowball]

I honestly don't understand why they would be so ill-spirited about another baby. Why are they acting like this? I am fuming just hearing this is happening.

Do you normally get along with OH's family?

This is just unbelievable and I am so sorry that you have to go through this. It is both of your choice to have another baby....not theirs. Why can't some people just shut their mouths up!?

ETA. And what bothers me is you have such a good heart that you are sparing your sister from your good news in order for her to get over the pain of her misfortune. Yes, no one know about it, but still!

Thanks for your replies everyone, it's a great help to me to talk about it.

I think they still view me as young as I was the youngest child. When I told them we were pregnant with our first they asked me to do unspeakable things which really upset me and then they hardly mentioned me being pregnant for ages. Nowdays they love my daughter to bits, always buying her things, wanting to take her out and cook her dinner. Our second baby, DH's mum and dad talked to me about termintaion and from what I can tell with this one she is really annoyed at. She told DH she thinks it's all a bit silly when things can still be done. It breaks my heart to even hear that.

I do get on with my MIL however I think she has issue with DH having any kids. She has a disabled son whom DH is very close to and she has said that DH is like a dad to him rather than a brother (her and her husband split years ago). I don't think she like him having other commitments to be honest. She even got DH to start working in a care home and get qualified as a manager so he can run a house where his brother can live. It all gets a bit much at times as I know this is highly unlikely to happen.

I don't think my family will react well but obviously I haven't said anything to them yet so I'm not sure. I would think my sister may be a little upset but then she is entitled. When she told me about her miscarriage I didn't know wether to comfort her but I couldn't just walk away so I have been talking to her everyday, making sure she's alright and asking if she needs anything. I just hope she doesn't look back and see it as me being patronising.

I just want to move away for a few months now and let them all get on with it. It's so hard listening to my baby's heartbeat everyday knowing what they are all thinking and saying

 

[leeanne]

You've had two children already and both of you have already proven that you are good parents. There should be no doubt in their minds now.

As for your OH's brother, it's so sweet of OH to have taken the role of caring and nurturing him and being like a father figure. But he's not his father. OH's life shouldn't have to stop because of his brother. He's entitled to have his happiness and family too. MIL is putting a lot of responsibility on OH and it's kind of not fair.

I also truly hope that your family will step up and be very happy for you when you tell them your good news. Families are meant to be there for you and supportive of any decision you make.

I couldn't imagine being in your situation. I get along quite well with hubby's mom. At the same time, I was a bit worried about telling her of this pregnancy. Hubby has 3 other kids, plus we have two little one's together. I thought MIL wouldn't be happy for us, but she was

Good luck. It must be so difficult being the subject of such negativity!

Termination? My gosh! How can they even suggest it?!

 

[Snowball]

You've had two children already and both of you have already proven that you are good parents. There should be no doubt in their minds now.

As for your OH's brother, it's so sweet of OH to have taken the role of caring and nurturing him and being like a father figure. But he's not his father. OH's life shouldn't have to stop because of his brother. He's entitled to have his happiness and family too. MIL is putting a lot of responsibility on OH and it's kind of not fair.

I also truly hope that your family will step up and be very happy for you when you tell them your good news. Families are meant to be there for you and supportive of any decision you make.

I couldn't imagine being in your situation. I get along quite well with hubby's mom. At the same time, I was a bit worried about telling her of this pregnancy. Hubby has 3 other kids, plus we have two little one's together. I thought MIL wouldn't be happy for us, but she was

Good luck. It must be so difficult being the subject of such negativity!

Termination? My gosh! How can they even suggest it?!

Thank you hun, that's made me feel loads better. I just needed to vent it all off today, have had a bit of a rubbish week with all that's happened to my sister and then hearing that last night I guess it tipped me over the edge.

For now I'm just going to rise about it all and enjoy being pregnant. If my MIL keeps on though I will say something to her. If she had said it to my face it would have been easier but instead she's spoken behind my back to DH about it and I've heard it second hand.

This is not good for my hormonal rage levels

 

[leeanne]

Sending you hugs and the hope that everything gets better for you!

 

[Mervs Mum]

Bizarre!? I dont understand why they're not happy for you?!

Have you ever had any problems that would make them think that its a bad idea? Or are they just negative types - I've come across some people who never seem to have anything positive to say about anything!

I know when I told my Mum I was expecting #1 she wasn't over the moon - I had just got married aged 19 and was preg within a month and we were living with them so we could save for a deposit to buy a house, so I suppose I wasnt in the perfect situation. She was 22 when she fell preg unplanned with me and she felt she missed out on stuff - going to uni, travel etc. I suppose she didnt want me to feel I'd missed out later down the line.

13 yrs, a divorce, 10 yrs as a single Mum, a career and a new husband later her reaction was totally different to this one - I supposed she thinks I'm in a better position.

Regardless of what my Mum thought (and I understand her reasons now - having a daughter of my own I wouldnt want her to chose the path I did) I dont regret for a single second the decisions I made because the brought me to the place I'm in now and made me the person I am....oh and I have the most fab daughter I could have ever asked for.

 

[Rumpskin]

Hi Snowball

I am so very sorry lovely.

Like you said, this is your special time. You should be over the moon. If people are not happy for you, then tough. Dont you let them get you down.

I hope your other half is looking after you.

Sending you hugs