Feeling down

[Lirpa11]

DH and I are about to enter our 15th month of TTC

We haven't had a TWW since February, although that hasn't been our choice. After 3 months no AF, I was referred to a fertility clinic where we both undertook heaps of tests, and they started a tracking cycle.

After my bloods came back strange, I was sent for a U/S and they found a large cyst on my right ovary and said that's why I haven't had AF. I was put on the pill, and after 6-8 weeks on it and a couple more U/S, the cyst is gone.

I was told no more pill (yay). I called them back today on CD2 to ask about what to do. They're like, so what happens now... I'm like well I don't know, that's why I am seeing you guys. So the lady says well we will start the tracking cycle again since the last one was cancelled. I then said, ok but can you let me know what DH and my initial tests came back as no one has let us know. She then said she will speak to the doctor and call me back.

I just had a call saying that we can't do the tracking cycle as they need to discuss DH results with us!! Could they not have done that the past two months I have been on the pill and we haven't been able to even try? Now I have an appointment in November.

I am so upset, this was supposed to be a happy decision to have a baby, and it has brought more heartache ad tears than I could have ever imagined. There's never any good news, and everything is taking so long

and surely the fertility doctors could have raised concerns back in early August when DH went in for his tests.

I am so frustrated. We are going to them for help and I'm even more stressed and in limbo.

 

[Babydustpeace]

I'm so sorry Lirpa that you are going through this.

Sending you and hoping that you get to start trying again soon x x

 

[Lirpa11]

Thank you

I see you have been trying for ten years. How do you do it? We are at the one year mark and I can hardly cope. DH is always think positive, it will happen, and I just don't know. I'm sorry, I don't mean to ask in a rude way, but I just can't imagine TTC for ten years... Then again a year ago I couldn't even imagine TTC for one year.

I never even knew how important having a baby was to me until the past year and half. Some girls grow up wanting that, and that wasn't me, and now it isn't happening and I don't know where to turn.

Most people say relax, it will happen, some girls tell me about their difficulties in TTC (the longest had to wait three months).. I just don't know anymore. I hAve no one to talk to.

How do you cope please

 

[Hope3]

My advice is to get counselling from someone who specialises in infertility issues. I'm sure everyone on this thread has gone through the same pain as you and understands what you're going through. But there's no substitute for talking face to face with someone who won't judge you.

I've been going since March. It helps but it takes time. Coping with the grief & other emotions isn't easy. People who say just relax should wind their neck in and mind their own business. You can't relax your way out of a medical condition.

Be pushy with your doctors. You deserve answers.

Best of luck.

 

[Babydustpeace]

I must admit that I haven't always coped with it. DH & I have gone through an enormous amount of pain over the years. DH suffered a nervous breakdown because of it too We both attended face to face counselling a while back but I'm not sure if either of us felt like the counselling helped us even though I know it has helped some people.

One thing I am grateful for is that it has made us realise how much we love each other. It is all we want in the world but only god knows if it will ever happen for us.

I started attending Acupuncture around this time last year & my Acupuncturist is amazing. She has helped me see things in a different light (she is kind of like a counsellor in a way for me) and she helped me pull myself out of the negative mindset that I had developed! She recommended a few books for me to read to get me thinking more positively like The Power & The Power of Now. These might be worth looking into.

It is such a difficult road and I wish you weren't going through the same thing

Wishing you strength to continue on this journey & I hope & pray that you get your THB soon x x

 

[Ilovetomatoes]

Lirpa!!!! Glad to see you a little more active on the board. Although, I am sorry that you have to go through RE this time. If I am you, I'd start looking for a different RE. I am not sure how it is in Aussie but I'd ask for a referral to a different RE. It doesn't sound like your RE is thorough enough. I think a good RE should have discussed your results at the first meeting and create a game plan for you. At least that's how they do it with my RE. Good luck! I hope everything will go well for you and I won't see you on the Assisted board!

 

[babifever]

Sorry ladies I pray you get your babies sooner rather than ladies. Love and peace

 

[Lirpa11]

Thanks for the kinds words everyone, after just over a year being on babyandbump, I haven't been on as much lately.

Well, the doctor rescheduled our appointment and we saw him today and finally have some answers. Here we go:

Me:
My egg count is very high. It was like 68 when normally it's much lower. That could be a sign from PCOS though, but good news as there are lots of eggs, and they are good quality. The only problem is hyper ovulation could occur or something, and due to pcos we all have no idea when I will ovulate.

I've also been put on metformin. My sugar levels were very high. 44 for a fasting test. He said if I put on weight I'd probably find diabetes to be a problem, and that it could cause problems. If I get pregnant. So onto metformin I go.... Hmm. Other than that it's all good

Hubby:
All was ok,except for he has a low sperm count. Doctor said it should be 40million to 200million. Hubby has around 34million. He also mentioned the veins in the testes were swollen, which was due to the temperature of them being hot, which is probably why the count is low I guess...

DH has worked up north in Western Australia for a few years. The weather there is hot so maybe that's why?

So to sum it up, we can keep trying but without knowing when I ovulate and with DH low sperm count, we might be waiting awhile. He then said we could start treatment. Either go for IUI, or IVF. DH wants to go straight IVF and hopefully be done by Xmas... I'm happy to do it. But I don't know the time it can take, success rates etc..

Any advice?

 

[Ilovetomatoes]

I have never tried IUI or medicated cycle due to my situation. But, a good friend of mine did 3 IUIs w/ no success. The month that they stopped IUI to prepare for possible IVF, they got pregnant naturally. She did say that if she had known they'd had to go through 3 IUIs w/o any success, she'd prefer to do IVF. In the end, it costs about the same but without the monthly heartbreak.

I think it's really up to you and your husband. IUI is definitely much cheaper than IVF. Maybe you can try 1 round of IUI and see if that works. Then maybe move on to IVF if you feel IUI is not for you or too stressful. Good luck Lirpa! I am sure whatever your decision is the best decision for both you .