Feeling Guilty about D&C

Discussion in 'Miscarriage Support' started by ladypotter, Sep 1, 2009.

  1. ladypotter

    ladypotter Three Girls!!!

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    As you all know, I had a D&C on Friday due to a blighted Ovum. I knew it was doom as soon as the doc put the wand on my belly and all I could see was the black hole (the sac). He said...well, lets do an internal as those tell us more. Did that and could see the gestational sac (the black hole) and the Yolk Sac (the circle bobby in the black hole), but no baby. By my lmp, I should have been 7wks 5dys. By the dates on the size of the sac's I was right on the nose. Same size....BUT...I still can't help feeling, what if I was wrong. I keep trying to reassure myself because I got a + preg test (wee test) on August 1st and that would make me AT LEAST 7wks along by that time EVEN if I would have gotten an early +....I know there is no way, but I just can't help but think I made a rash decision...:cry:

    sorry to rant...I know its pointless, but I just HAD to dump it out there...:nope:
     
  2. aj11

    aj11 Mama to Ari :)

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    oh honey, i am so so sorry. i think it's human nature to look back and have doubts. just hold tight and know that you did nothing wrong. if you had waited you would have caused yourself more heartache by letting you hopes rise.

    once again, i am so sorry. i truly hope you are able to start to heal soon.
     
  3. BabyBubbles

    BabyBubbles Expecting number 2!

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    i understand how you feel, we had to make the decision to termiate as baby had a fatal ntd and would not have lived. I know in my head that we made the only decision that would have been fair to the baby but im constantly thinking what if we gave it another 2 weeks and it fixed itself? what if i carried full term and the docs had been wrong?

    aj is right, its human nature to doubt, but in the long run, im sure we made the right decisions and save us a lot of heartache. I keep thinking how i would have felt if id felt him move and kick then lost him. Sometimes these things are just for the best.

    Big hugs xxx
     
  4. AlwaysPraying

    AlwaysPraying Mom of two!

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    These are such hard things to deal with! I had a d&c as well and struggle some days with the decision. At the end of the day, you did what you thought was best at the time with the information that you had. You may have heard that before, but I thought it was worth repeating. At the time, it made sense, at the time, there was no hope, at the time, your baby was not developing. It was a smart and healthy choice to make.

    No one ever knows what would have been and that's really hard, but I think the challenge is to accept what we've done to grow and learn from it. No matter what, your choice was loving, compassionate and of the best intention. Remind yourself of that.
     
  5. BabyBubbles

    BabyBubbles Expecting number 2!

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    thats really lovely always xx
     
  6. Liz2

    Liz2 Well-Known Member

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    I am so sorry you are feeling this way honey and I am sorry for your loss :hugs: I agree that it is human nature to think about all of the "what if's". Please don't torture yourself as you made the proper decision for you and your baby. Sending tons of hugs and love your way!
     
  7. faylou

    faylou BFP after mmc & chemical

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    hi, I totally agree with AlwaysPraying, you made the right decision with the information you had. I was scanned at 7 weeks and had exactly the same thing - sac and yolk but no baby. I have to keep reminding myself that a baby should be seen from week 5-6 and by week 7 there is no way everything is ok if there is not even a hint of a baby. I know its hard, but you did the right thing. Sending you tonnes of hugs and kind thoughts xx
     

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