feeling guilty

[Hopeeee]

My son turned 10 months old this week. No doubt the past 10 months have been the best of my life. I love my son more than anything which is why I've had to make some difficult decisions since he's entered my life.

I am 22 and my boyfriend (sons father) is 25. We both have to work long hours at different restaurants to make a living. Because we work at restaurants we make about 3x as much money during the weekend than we do during the week, so we both have to work weekends.

My mom picks my son up Friday night and brings him back Sunday night. My parents and my boyfriends parents take turns watching our son on the weekends. I know that they all LOVE him and spoil him. They LOVE taking him in for the weekend and he is well taken care of with them. I mean, they take tons of pictures, show him off, buy him things, cuddle him...etc... they all adore him.

I guess I feel guilty because I have to spend so much time apart from him. January of 2017 I will be returning to school to get my degree in computer science and I will have to spend even more time apart from him. I know it's best in the long run, once I get my degree and get a real job I won't have to live this way for any children I may have in the future.

I'm afraid my son will be confused who his mommy is, I'm afraid he will resent me for having to spend all this time apart, I feel like people judge me for passing him off to my parents...I feel like I'm failing as a mother.

 

[RaspberryK]

Sweetie I have to spend at least every other weekend away from my children when they visit their dad. Many parents work 40 hours a week away from theirs. Your baby is asleep at night so it's only the days that you'd have to be at work anyway and he has no idea it's a weekend.
I had great relationships with my grandparents as a child and it sounds like he will too.
Xx

 

[CRWx]

You're not failing you're working and going back to school to enable him to have a better quality of life. I'm also 22 and my daughter is 10 weeks old, I've gone back to university which leaves me away from her 3x a week... I keep telling myself that it will let le get a better job and let us both have a better life

He won't be confused who his mummy is, he'll just have an excellent bond with you and his grandparents, which is great!

Totally understand the mummy guilt though. Don't beat yourself up xxx

 

[SarahBear]

You sound like a great mother with a great family. There will be hard times (and he may say things while he's little that make you feel guilty), but when he's grown, he'll hopefully look back and admire you for your hard work and for doing what was best. He'll probably also develop a closer than average relationship with his grandparents. Even if the reason for this close relationship is not ideal, the close relationship itself is a very positive thing.

Edit: Oh, and he'll absolutely know who his mother is!