Feeling hopeless and shattered 😞

[Rachel320]

Hi all,
I'm looking for advice and support.
My DD is 3 months 3 weeks old and is VERY hard work. Here's a taster...
- hates being in the car so doesn't want to go further than 5mins away
- hates her pram so can't go for walks unless she's in the carrier and she's getting too heavy for this now
- won't nap unless she's in the carrier and being constantly walked around in
- wakes every 1-1.5 hours for feeds during the night and then wakes at 4am for the day
- is generally grumpy a lot of the time because she's such a bad sleeper
- is extremely sensitive to sound so when she is sleeping you cannot make ANY noise

I feel like I just can't live a normal life at all just now and it's getting me so upset (I'm crying as I type). I'm prepared to sacrifice normality for her but doing that and being completely sleep deprived is so hard. All my new mum friends have babies who are now sleeping good during the night and none of them seem to have a baby like mine.

Words of wisdom anyone? x

 

[red_head]

Hey, I'm not a parent, so can't offer you advice from my own experience, but just wanted to say you are doing a great job, and your daughter is lucky to have you. I can't imagine how difficult things are; I am a nightmare with one nights disturbed sleep, so you are a hero! Things will get easier; I had a friend who had a very similar situation and now her son sleeps through like a dream, so it will happen. Something she did was once a month she would book a hotel room, her partner would watch their son, and she would just go there and sleep. She had it marked on the calendar, so she had it to look forward to, and it gave her something to aim for. It meant she had an amazing, pampered nights sleep, so she could come back refreshed. Could you do something like that? I know it made a massive difference. Hope you get some sleep soon, try and stay positive, you're doing amazing.

 

[MrsButterfly]

Oh gosh huge hugs. You must be exhausted you poor thing. Are you getting plenty of support at home?

Have you been to doctor to check her out - could be something like reflux, cow milk allergy making her uncomfortable?

If she likes being carried maybe get a carrier that will make it easier when she gets bigger? I have an ergobaby which will last for years.

Sending you an enormous hug. I'm sleep deprived too at the moment and caffeine is definitely my friend. Sleep deprivation is absolute torture though so please make sure you're looking after yourself and taking some breaks x

 

[Rachel320]

Wow the hotel idea is great but I don't think I would be able to relax. At home at the weekend I can have a bit of a sleep in (I'm talking 9am) because my husband is here but I breastfeed so there's only so much freedom and rest I can get. I do express but DD isn't great at a bottle these days.
I would love to be able to drink lots of caffeine but can't even do that because I'm breastfeeding! It's really really tough.

 

[bounceyboo]

you must be exhausted that must be tough going, just wanna say I know its hard now but it does get easier, you will be ok and your baby knows your doing the best you can and know. when goes to sleep for the night take that opportunity to run a bath for yourself, go to bed when she does so you get some rest, screw all the stuff you have to do it can wait until you feel like doing it?/ask for help so your getting a break.
lastly keep trying with the bottle, hopefully she may take it for your husband. maybe she might need a little bit of extra milk i.e. combination?supplement feed to help settle her, a few of my friends who breastfed their babies just couldn't feed them enough and had to do this they like you were shattered. big hugs to you and hold your head high your doing a great job

 

[Rachel320]

Thanks for the comments.
Bounceyboo, my baby doesn't 'go down for the night' so I'm not able to really relax in the evenings. She sleeps best between 8pm-12am but still wakes a lot, and after 12am she's up ever 30mins to every hour
x

 

[Spudtastic]

You're doing great. Keep going. It will get better.

My dd1 was the worst sleeper too. I was exhausted. I lived overseas from my mum. My husband worked everyday so if I was lucky I got a lay in until 6.30am maybe once a fortnight.

I won't lie. It wasn't easy. It was hard. But it will get better. Dd1 is now 4 and she mostly sleeps the whole night through. She also can sleep for 10 to 11 hours straight now too.

Keep going. X x

 

[Spudtastic]

Thanks for the comments.
Bounceyboo, my baby doesn't 'go down for the night' so I'm not able to really relax in the evenings. She sleeps best between 8pm-12am but still wakes a lot, and after 12am she's up ever 30mins to every hour
x

This was my dd1 for two years.