Feeling impatient...need to vent for my sanity!

[Chrissyxoxo]

Feeling some kind of way I need an avenue to vent and figured this would be a great way for me to exert my frustrations. Complaining and venting to my husband has seemed to only stress him out and push him away from the baby topic.

We had our son 6 years ago, unplanned, however we had our happy ending and everything worked out wonderfully. I was 18 and he was 20, but with the help of family and our own determination, we were able to graduate college, find great jobs and my husband has just started his Masters. He will complete it August of 2014 and stated we he will finally be ready to try this spring when he is about halfway done with the program....... However, i'm afraid this is just another excuse. You see my husband has always been afraid of final commitment.

It took him 5 years to propose to me (4 years after baby was born), 6 years before we were married, and as expected he is afraid to have another one. I have tried to assess all the possible reasons as to why and to be as patient as I can but my patience is wearing thin Likewise, I should be so blessed that we are all healthy with no issues, little man is healthy, he has a great job and we just moved to Europe due to his job and get a great experience! I'm just so worried that our first son is getting older and don't want to push the gap any longer. I get the opportunity to stay home while we are here so why not start trying now!

We are currently using the withdrawal method and boy let me tell you my hubby has mastered it LOL. We removed the Mirena feb '12 and have had no accidents as I have hoped lol!!

He admitted that even in spring he doesn't think he is ready but thinks its the right thing to do.....he is always like this...very scared to take the leap but finds out its not so bad after all when its done! I understand the first time around was very scary as we were young and had a 2lb preemie but we have both talked about it and want more kids.

I've been using opks and temping just to get a feel of my cycle as it's been irregular since the mirena but nothing crazy and it all seems well. I talk about babies all the time and I can tell he is getting tired of it. He knows I watch my cycle but he constantly reiterates he is not ready now but will be in a few months....to me it's like what's the difference from now and 4 months???!!! But I am trying to respect him.

Please help me to get through this and give me tips as what I can do to pass time! Maybe he will change his mind and want to try early if I can just back off a bit! What have your experiences been like? I'm still pretty young and maybe i'm not all that ready as I think I am? Pleaseee help.

 

[itsnowmyturn]

Welcome over to wtt. We will help pass the time xx

 

[Chrissyxoxo]

Thank you!!! Looks like you will be TTCing soon! Lots of baby dust to you next week!! xoxoxo

 

[itsnowmyturn]

Thanks. I have to wait for my cycle to come back first but we won't be preventing. It's been a long 6 months here and the years before I joined but these girls have kept me sane

 

[Chrissyxoxo]

Thanks. I have to wait for my cycle to come back first but we won't be preventing. It's been a long 6 months here and the years before I joined but these girls have kept me sane

I wish you all the best and good luck hun! It is good to know that we can find support even in smallest ways. I am hoping you all will be able to help give me a pick me up on the worst days.

Don't give up, it will all be worth it! How exciting

 

[schmetterling]

Hi there! I'm sorry you and your hubby aren't seeing eye to eye. It's so difficult because having a child is such a big decision so both people really have to be on board, but it's difficult for both people to want the exact same thing at the same time. Hopefully, though, he will be ready in a few months like he says. I know it seems like forever, but time really flies.We are going to start hopefully ttc in December and I've actually made a list of all of the things I want to accomplish before then. It really helps keep me focused and not baby crazy. For example, I have several appointments to go to (dentist, naturopath), I want to figure out good supplements to take before we try/while I'm pregnant (I can't take a prenatal because of allergies), I want to exercise more and spend lots of time with my 17 month old daughter (and especially enjoy every second of breastfeeding her because I know that relationship could change slightly while I'm pregnant/while there's a newborn), and enjoy just having one person to take care of. Maybe if you make a list it will not only help keep you focused on the end goal, but will make sure you are super prepared Best of luck to you in your wait, and hope you'll get to start trying soon!

 

[itsnowmyturn]

My wtt was full of lists lol, mostly what I want to buy and stuff like that but yeah it kept me sane for a few hours and passed the time. Im currently writing out the stuff fertility friend send u about how to recognize ur fertile period so that I can understand it more. It's passing the time quite well xx

 

[Chrissyxoxo]

Thank you ladies! You are completely right. Sometimes I forget that there is still much prepping before the actual TTC because my mind is just SOOO focused on wanting to become pregnant. I started prepping last February when we removed the Mirena and I hoped my husband would want to try right away but when that didn't happen I became frustrated and turned to becoming upset and obsessive, which of course pushed him away.

I am going to try to become active again in prepping, but not for wanting it now like I have been, but for later (4-5 months). I have been using opks and temping now in the hopes that he will change his mind, but I think I need to change that mindset and prep and get ready for the future and to enjoy my little ones! You are right, the grass is always so green on the other side but I am forgetting how nice it is to have an independent 6 year old and enjoy date nights and nights out! Im 25! I need to enjoy it before my hands are full!

Thankkkk you!!