Feeling kind of sad for Penelope today

[brownhairedmom]

So I'm feeling sort of sad for my baby today. So far, everything about Adam has just been him being an ass and being his own selfish self. It just kind of really hit me that she isn't going to have a dad. I mean, how the hell do you explain to a child why everyone else has a dad and she doesn't? She's going to miss out on so much. I mean, I love my dad and I have no idea how I could even imagine my childhood without him being a central part of it. It makes me really sad that she isn't going to be able to experience that.

He's such an asshole and I just don't understand how someone could just abandon their child. It isn't his life or my life he's making difficult - its hers. I'm so angry with him today in an entirely different way than I was before.

 

[wantababybump]

I didnt know what else to say so I just wanted to give you hugs hun. xo

 

[~ Vicky ~]

I feel exactly the same, so you're not alone chick. I'm so happy with my decision to not have Gav involved, but I often feel that's selfish of me (when it's what he really wants).

Think of it like this.. Penelope is going to benefit SO much more from her life with her Mom who loves her more than anything and would do anything for her, than she would with a Mom and Dad who can't stand to be around each other, hate each other, and Dad is only there because he *has* to be.

You never know Rae, you might not go for long before you find another guy who is willing to take on you AND Penelope and he'll be a better Dad than Adam could ever be.

 

[codegirl]

I agree with Vicky, you don't know that by the time P asks the question about her dad she might HAVE a dad in her life.

Just take it one day at a time gf, one day at a time.

 

[thelilbump]

You are gonna b an ace mum rae n when penelope is old enough to undertsand she will know everything you've ever done is in her best interest (not that she'd prob admit it haha). If Adam doesn't wanna be involved thats his look out. there are lots of kids out there in single parent families and most of them are probably better off

 

[Moulder86]

Yea it is hard, I wonder how I'm going to explain to Max why his daddy doesn't want much if anything to do with him but spends regular time with his half brother. I suppose it's one of those things where 'you'll cross that bridge when it comes to it'.

And like Vicky said she may have a dad by the time that question needs answering.

xx

 

[Baby-Love]

I didn't have a father present and in all honesty, I never felt I missed out at all.
I asked questions as to why I didn't have a Daddy like my friends..my Mum just told me I was born to be loved by everyone not just a Mummy and Daddy. That I am still lucky as some children don't have any parents. I never felt like I missed out. She never talked bad about my father, so it never seemed like it was a bad thing not having one around.

Don't feel so bad. xx Your baby is loved regardless.

 

[BlackBerry25]

These days not everyone has a dad. Lots don't! I have a dad, but I hardly ever see or speak to him and it really has not hurt me at all.

The thing that matters is that she has a family that loves her, and it sounds like she does

 

[Younglutonmum]

I know exactly how you feel. I look at Maya & think how on earth could anyone walk away from her, she doesn't deserve it

But as the others have said she'll do fine with just you & you never know you may meet someone she calls daddy.

You're going to be just fine & so is Penelope!!

xxx

 

[nikky0907]

It's a shameful thing that he walked out on his child.That he was so incredibly selfish.

It can't be easy explaining to her why she doesn't have a father,but you are a good mom already Rae...you're gonna be more than enough for her.
He would have been a terrible father and that would leave more serious consequences on her.
I would know! Having grown up with a father who wasn't good at all in that role sometimes even makes me wonder if he would have made me a bigger favour by simply walking out (then again leaving me with my mother would probably drive me to a suicide)...

Penelope will never miss out on any love,that I'm sure off!

 

[brownhairedmom]

Thanks girls.

I guess I just have a really difficult time comprehending how someone could purposely put an innocent child in that position. He's really just taking that entire part of her life away from her. She doesn't get a say, he's just going to do it anyway. It makes me really angry, because honestly, who does he think he is that he has some right to deprive her of a dad??

 

[Foxxy]

I can imagine how u feel, cause sometimes I feel the same... Of course, it's ideal situation when baby has mum and dad, but only if they love each other and live happily!!! If they arguying every day, stay with each other for baby's sake and so on - it's not good at all. I think and strongly believe that baby will be better with one parent than with both in such kind of family.
Just try to think positive, even when it's very hard. And I can agree with others u never know who and when will be dad for Penelope...

 

[krissi]

I grew up with out my dad in my life and i don't feel like I have missed out on anything. She would not know any different, it would be different if he walked out after being part of her life but he hasn't so don't worry yourself. You have enough love for a mum and a dad so Penelope will want for nothing.

 

[welshcakes79]

..
cant really comment hun as im not in your position and i had a dad growing up, but just wanted to say penelope has one heck of a wonderful super mom..
xxx

 

[BurtonBaby]

You're a great mom, and she will never miss out on any love. Its Adam that will miss out on her love. He will never see her first smile, or hear her first word, or watch her first steps. You will get to have an amazing bond with your little girl that he will completely and totally miss out on. And to be honest, it will probably be for the best. My parents were together when I was young, and my mom hated my dad. They fought all the time, and it wasn't a good home to grow up in. Luckily my mom finally left my dad when I was 6, and we had a much happier home. However, even then my dad was MIA for our visits, all of our activities, and it was my mom that was always there for me. I felt sad that my dad wasn't around, since he had been once. My cousin on the other hand was 9mo when her parents split. She was used to it just being her mom, and has always been content with that.

Penelope has a great mom, and you and her will always have a special bond. =)

 

[Suzanne]

You have got enough love in your little fnger to give your little girl all the love she needs sweetheart! Dont forget that!

I am a single mum I do have an OH but he isnt apart of their lives (very long story he was when we were together previously for 3 years) but we are taking it very slow, my 2 love him to bits and they know he is back in my life but until we know where we are at he wont be apart of theirs.... MY CHOICE!

My ex hubby, my childrens dad has very little to do with them, not so much cos he doesnt want to but because he is sooo busy and can never seem to make time for them!

So i do it alone, and my children always say to me, we dont need dad do we mum, you do everything for us and my oldest he is 10 says to me when im a footballer mum, im gonna make sure you want for nothing, you feed us, cloth us, put a roof over our head, make sure we have nice things but what does dad do..... HE IS 10 FOR GOD SAKE!!! Whats all that about???

So who needs a father around? My 2 have very positive male rolemodels in their lives, I have many many male friends who do stuff with them and they love them all....

You can do this hun, you dont need your daughters biological father around and as others have said, by the time she starts asking questions, you will undoubtedly have a man in your life who will be more than happy to be there for her!

I know it hurts but you can do this girl, I promise you!!!

 

[Becky]

Rae i grew up without my dad around he left my mum when i was 8 and before then was always travelling!! It may not seems like to you now but trust me she wont know any different and therefore you dont need to worry!!

She doesnt need a man in her life you are going to be an amazing mummy to her and as long as she has your love and support what more can you ask for!!

This could be the most special time in Adams life he may never have a chance like this again and he has decided to not make the effort!! that is his loss and not your little girls!!

xxx

 

[maybebaby]

 

[cuddles314]

I too have similar worries, and wonder how I will explain to my bubs the fact that his/her Daddy is too much of a coward to admit to people that he is their Father. But then I realise that I have so much love to give to my child, and I'll just make sure that they never ever feel as if they are second best (as I have been made to feel) and then I kind of know that everything will be ok in the end.
All any of us can do is try our best, and that is something which it is clear that we will all do, as you can see just by reading the posts here, how much we love our children, even those who are not yet born.
You will be a great Mum Rae, and I have no doubt that your daughter will be able to see this clearly for herself.
xxx