Feeling like a terrible Mum throughout maternity leave

[CantWaitToTTC]

Just needed to vent and ask if I'm the only one. I have a 3 & half year old and a 6 month old. With my first I worked from home when he turned 4 weeks old. I felt guilty that I couldn't take him to many groups, etc (as I had to be near my laptop in case I needed to log on). Second time round I started working from home when she turned 3 weeks old (due to Year End). So I was checking my emails on phone every few minutes, logging on when needed (not often during day), but mostly I worked my arse off as soon as I put them both down and every weekend while my husband entertained the kids.

This time round I have made an extra effort to get out (I take them to park a few times a week and I take 2 days off a month and take them to the soft play. I feel like I leave Ellie to roll around on the floor too much while I spend every spare second playing with my son (on floor next to mat). He became extra clingy as soon as the bump showed and he asks me to play with him ALL the time (I can sit play with him for an hour, then as soon as I have to do something else, clean up, feed Ellie, he begs me to play).

I just feel so guilty when I tell him I can't. And sometimes I'm just so tired that I don't 'want' to play all day with him. I read, take him to park, play for a bit, and I feel like this makes me a HORRIBLE mum, like I should be doing more.

My work pay a bit more then maternity pay due to me working (which we need), plus they let me work from home 2 days a week when I go back, so I get to be with my children. Plus when I go back I won't need to work weekends or every evening as I will get more work done while in office.

 

[Dime Cuando]

You are doing a sterling job by the sounds of it as well as providing for your kids..there aren't any more hours in the day so give yourself a pat on the back (I also work from home so I know how you feel).

Feeling 'guilty' comes with having kids I reckon...we continually second guess what we are doing and question whether we are doing it right but that's only because we love them so much and want to do right by them. The fact we question it just proves how eager we are to get it 'right'.

 

[Literati_Love]

It sounds like you're doing an amazing job and more than a lot of moms who aren't even working! You have limits too so don't feel guilty that you can't play 24/7. Your kids are lucky to have such a great mom!

 

[CantWaitToTTC]

Thank you both soo much!! I cried reading those (damn hormones lol). I just always feel like I should be doing more.

 

[Wilsey]

I've accepted that mummy guilt just comes with the territory. I'm constantly agonising over things to do with my kids. It sounds like you're doing your absolute best and very well considering the circumstances.

Don't be so hard on yourself! I go to work part-time to help with the bills so my kids don't even see me during the day on those days!

One of my friends is a clinical psychologist specialising in children (but please don't take this as fact because, of course, everyone has different opinions...even professionals) but when I told her of my worries about returning to work and how it would affect my kids she said 'I think from 5 years on this is when kids really need to know their parents care, they need them to take them to and from school, take them to sports, help them with their homework etc. She said, that's when kids really know how much you love them and care.' I'm choosing to believe that because it's gets me through my work day!