Feeling like I want to give up already :(

[Wugz22]

My first was EBF for 6 months, but baby girl is only a week old and I want to quit so bad. My toddler is 19 month and Loses.his.freaking.mind when I have to sit and feed her for an hour at a time. He throws things at us, screams, cries, gets into stuff he knows he's not supposed to. Baby girl seems in pain the whole time she's feeding. So gassy and uncomfortable - idk if I should change my diet or what. And one of my nipples is completely busted up and bleeding. I don't know what to do about it all!!!!!

 

[Kanichen34]

Do what's right for you but as you fed successfully last time I think you'll regret it if you give up. Can anyone else entertain the toddler? Can you read to him or do stickers or something whilst feeding? My plan with number 2 is to get a sling so baby can feed in the sling and you are still mobile and hands free for the toddler.

Try cutting out fruit juice, broccoli and onions. They are common causes of gas. I couldn't drink fruit juice at all with my first.

Good luck!

 

[tulip1975]

I remember how horrific that first week was once my milk came in (and that's without another baby). You'll still have to feed the newborn regardless. I like PP's sling idea.

You must be absolutely miserable. I hope your toddler gets adjusted soon. Hugs.

 

[noon_child]

I think those early weeks are a time when family and friends are so important if you have any. Everyone really needs to rally round you, because if they are part of your family then these two children are their family too. Can anyone take holiday days off work to take your toddler off your hands? In many cultures family members practically move in so they can look after the older ones so that Mum and baby can bond. This isn't really just a breastfeeding issue but an issue of allowing you time just you and the baby.

Also I know TV isn't advised for young children, but just for a week or so while you get the hang of things maybe your toddler could get one TV session a day. Maybe it could be used as bargaining, so if he lets you feed in the morning then during one of the pm feeds he gets TV?

It must be very unsettling for him to have his whole world changed around him by this new person. Is it possible for him to get cuddles while you feed the baby so he doesn't feel left out (I know positioning is so hard in the early days that doing anything else is almost impossible!)

Have you seen an LC about the baby's latch, just to see if anything can be done to reduce the damage you are getting? If there are feeding issues there is no guarantee it'd be any better with a bottle and then you would have given up bf for mo reason.

 

[kajastarlight]

I agree, do what you gotta do. Just make sure you won't regret it. My DS1 was 19 months with DS2 was born and I set up little activities he loved to do and saved them only for when DS2 was eating. I also enlisted his help in feeding the baby. He loved to tickle DS2's feet to keep him awake or talk to him "to help keep the owie burps away" ---OK OK talking to a baby when they eat does not help keep the gas away but DS1 didn't know that!!!

 

[Wugz22]

Thanks all. Things are a little better - My husband went back to work a couple days ago and I think that's what really had me down. I have help from family and friends occasionally, which has been amazing. I went and saw the lactation consultant yesterday and she said baby girl has a pretty rough latch. Looks perfect from the outside but she's pinching with her tongue. So I'm pumping every few feedings to give the nipples a break and she takes a bottle just fine. I'm finding pumping and bottle feeding to be easier for during the day, because I can have a bit more of a schedule for DS, and then breastfeeding at night. I know I just need to make it through these first few weeks since they'll be the hardest!

 

[kajastarlight]

Good job hanging in there! Sounds like the pumping some durring the day nurse some durring the day and then more at night thing may be a good ticket for you
Glad things are getting easier. Those first few weeks are crazy rough!

 

[ay2808]

Slather on the lansinoh cream too. That worked wonders for me.

 

[x_WelshGirl_x]

I remember when DD wasnt even a week old, she was literally feeding ALL night and my 3year old woke up crying and just wanted me then the baby would start crying, then i started crying lol. I felt so bad that DS wanted me but I was feeding. I was so torn whether to give up breastfeeding so i could have time with just DS but then i looked at my DD and thought she was doing so well..i carried on and it got easier. I'm glad i didnt give up. She would take the odd bottle and now totally refuses one since about 8 weeks.

Do what's right for you but make sure you don't regret it x

 

[wishingonastar]

I've been there!
- lansinoh ointment is your friend slap it on before a feed and after (it's only one you don't need to wipe off before baby feeds). Will heal you and massively ease soreness as LO feeds
- do you have a fast letdown? If so that can cause major wind issues so you can stimulate nipple before a feed, trigger letdown and count to 15 or 20 then stem flow by pushing firmly on nips. This will ease flow pressure for LO when you then feed them
- practise holding your baby with one arm to feed if you can't get on with a sling to do it then you can use other arm to help your eldest with jig saw, bricks, reading book and so on. In eve when eldest asleep and pressure off practise walking whilst holding LO one handed feeding (promise it is doable). You will then be in a better position to feel comfortable doing it with the pressure of LO during day and you will be able to function better by being able to get drinks, snacks, give cuddles and so on
- if you have a v shape pillow these are great for helping one handed feeding when you're sitting down
- use a sticker chart to reward your LO for good behaviour while you feed and make a big fuss about how great they are and reward when they gain a certain amount of stickers

 

[wishingonastar]

Ps lansinoh can be given on prescription if you're in UK else it's about 10 squid to buy