Feeling Low, Impatient and Just Plain Blah

[xstitcher87]

My husband is 5 weeks into a 12 week training course, and this Easter weekend has been amazing! We've gone out with friends, stayed up late talking, played board games (we're a little nerdy) and just hung out.

I miss him so much during the week, but then I feel pathetic because there are plenty of people (and as I work alongside military people I know heaps) who don't see their spouse for waaayyyy longer than the 5 days during the week :/

Plus, I have my specialist appointment on Wednesday to schedule removal of suspected polyps on my uterine lining/wall. I am a bit scared that they'll find something worse and I will never be able to have kids. I am constantly afraid and it is getting me down....and we're not even trying till January!!

Part of my impatience comes from believing that we'll have issues concieving and to just try so we can do the year on our own before going down the assisted conception/IUI/IVF pathway.

My sister has had 2 miscarriages (12 weeks & 8 weeks) that I know of, my mother took 7 years to fall pregnant with me and my other sister has dysfunctional uterine bleeding and has been told she may never have children

I feel like there HAS to be something wrong with me (apart from polyps) with that background! I am terrified ALL the time that all this waiting will be for nothing.

I am a grown woman (or so I keep telling myself) who can very well handle a simple doctors appointment and a little day surgery without her husband holding her hand....but then I crumble in a ball and cry He can't be there due to his training and it is super important for our TTC Timeline that he finishes. My mother-in-law has offered to come down for the surgery, which is lovely, at least I'll have someone to look after me a little.

Sorry for the whinging, whining rant. Just needed to get it all out on paper (so to speak).

Any advice for helping control my fear around TTC? I am hoping my surgery is scheduled quickly so at least I can hear from the OBGYN what is actually going on with my uterus and whether I have anything more serious than a polyp (as they can't SEE the polyps because my lining was super thick or something...but they think they're there).

 

[Kitteh_Kat]

I miss my husband the same, whether he's only gone on an overnight training exercise or gone for months at a time like he is right now. It's perfectly okay, and definitely not pathetic!

It's nice that you'll have family at least with you. Can you maybe talk with the OBGYN about your fears? Usually having a doctor reassure me about something helps calm me. You are your own person though, so you could still fall pregnant easily and carry the child to term even if you family had issues before. I wish I had more advice, hopefully the other ladies have something in mind!

FX that your appointment goes well and the recovery is smooth and easy for you, and you get good news for TTC.

 

[xstitcher87]

Thanks for the encouraging words! Yeah, I am the same. I miss him the same whether it is for just a night or a few months. I actually do okay most of the time, I have about a million (okay maybe slight exaggeration) hobbies to keep me busy.

I will definitely be discussing everything with my OBGYN when I see her on Wednesday, can't wait to get the whole thing over with, surgery included. She will probably reassure me that everything is fine (apart from polyps and they're being removed!).

I am feeling a bit calmer today because my hubby is back at his training (thankfully we live in the same town as the training academy) and I am organising myself for the week ahead, prepping my lunches etc. I am trying to lose a little weight and eat a lot healthier so that I'm in good shape come January (which is only 9 months away!).

Hope the time flies and your OH is back with you soon!