Feeling more and more like I missed out...

[sun]

Let me start by saying my son is the best thing in the universe. He amazes me every day and I am so lucky to have him in my life.

But lately since LO#2 has been learning so many new things, I am feeling like I really missed out on something with him. He was assessed with global developmental delay (GDD) so I knew he was behind, but didn't really know how much he wasn't doing until now.

I know it's bad to compare, but my daughter is SO different and because of that I am enjoying her so much more. Obviously this is making me feel so guilty. She is very interactive - smiley, copies us, babbling and cooing. She is very attached to us in a way that Bun never was at the same age. OH and I never felt that connection with Bun until much later when he started interacting with us - around 18 months. That's when he really started to "notice" us (for lack of a better word).

Anyway, does anyone else feel like this? I feel like we both missed out on at least that first year because it seems like my daughter gets/gives so much more. I am thinking that maybe I didn't give my son what he needed because I didn't know how.

 

[Tommee]

Yes yes yes I know exactly how you are feeling. Our DS is almost 3 & awaiting to see the ASD panel we knew a long time ago though that he was 'different'. DD is almost 1 & she does so much more then he did at this age she takes everything in & follows instructions sadly DS never did. We teach her nursery rhymes everyday & I hear myself saying DS never did this did that etc. Then I feel bad because DS is unique & I honestly wouldn't have him any other way. Tonight before he went to bed I asked him for a goodnight kiss & he came over & gave me a kiss, it melted me, as I usually have to chase him for one little things like that keep me going.

 

[sun]

Thanks! I am glad to hear I'm not the only one who feels like this.

We are the same - I often catch myself saying "Bun didn't do this!" - then I feel guilty for comparing them. He is so amazing though - I also wouldn't have him any other way. Just when I think back I was so worried and didn't know how to best deal with him when he was small. Now I can see so much more of his personality which I love and am thankful for every day.

I feel like I bonded with DD so quickly in comparison, so I wonder if it was partly the way I was at the time that prevented me from bonding as well with DS. And whether that hindered him in any way. I do feel like I missed out on lots with him because I spent so much time learning how to interact and understand him.

 

[BabyJ'sMummy]

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