feeling mutilated?

[oh_socold]

So its been a few days since my csection and I am home already. They sent me home with my staples and I'm having them removed today.

This question is about the mental I don't know what to call it, ramifications I guess that I'm having now after the fact. I have a beautiful healthy baby. I am healthy and we are all well, but I find myself feeling mutilated. Its this intense anxiety I now have when I take my clothes off. I've showered once since because to look at myself is a chore. Is this normal? Maybe I just feel let down? I don't know, but I am going to mention it to the dr today when I have the staples removed. I was just wondering if maybe I'm less crazy than I think I am, or maybe this is a bad thing and I should be worried more about feeling this way.

Thanks

 

[LauraAvasMum]

Sounds to me like post traumatic stress was it an elective c section or emergency ?? X

 

[oh_socold]

It was an emergency caused by inductions that were not medically neccessary and basically forced on me by my ob. By the time I had a new dr at the hospital and found out it wasn't neccessary we were too far into the induction process to stop.

 

[Arisa]

you poor thing a failed induction must be awful
i had a planned section which turned into an emergency due to my pre eclampsia getting worse although i never had staples, TBH its shocking they still use them, over here its all dissolvable stitches so i did not notice much and the scar was actually the least of my worries, it was barely noticeable but the pain and irritation was there

i understand why you feel mutilated but I guess i look at it as being better than having your lady area "mutilated" with cuts and stitches and forceps etc its really hard to choose between the two when it comes to child birth but for me personally i did not see it as mutilation but that is me, i would see any internal damage to my vagina as more mutilation but i have a few issues in that area

 

[BlueHadeda]

Oh, I can relate to this!!! I've had only emergency c-sects because my babies always comes a bit early. But it wasn't emergency like rushing around or anything. It was still "planned" if you know what I mean? I knew I had to have c-sections from my 3rd, so no surprises or anything!

Still, I always feel mutilated afterwards! I mean, they cut you open from side to side. And it's not a pretty sight. Especially since it's bruised, swollen, discoloured, etc. in the beginning. I never had staples (only glue and dissolvable stitches), but it's still not a pretty sight. In the beginning, the first few weeks after a c-section, I try not to look at it too closely, and try to remember that it's early days. Believe me, you'll look MUCH better within a few months. The cut will heal, it will get smaller, thinner, lighter. Within 6 months, you'll barely notice it anymore. Hang onto that!!

 

[17thy]

I'm so sorry you are feeling this way because of an ob that pressured you into an unnecessary induction and it ended in an emergency section. I am sure you are not alone in your feelings, and it sounds like a normal reaction to me. *hugs*

I was pressured into an unnecessary induction with my first (thankfully didn't end in an emerg. section) but if you need to talk, please feel free to message me. It is a tough pill to swallow. Just try to enjoy your baby as much as you can for now. Educate yourself. Maybe write a letter of complaint or disappointment to your OB.

 

[havingmyfirst]

I had a failed induction (48 hours) and ended up with an emergency C Section and I felt EXACTLY the same way you do now... mutilated infact I came home crying saying "I'm all broken". How you feel is normal! I promise you will start to feel better though. It's literally post traumatic stress... what you need to do is TALK about it... talk to family, friends or if you need to talk through what happened and why you can talk to the midwives/obstertian.

After talking about it I started to get over it... and gradually its not so fresh in your mind and you wont feel you are reliving it... this happened quickly for me.

Also your bruising will come out and then fade, you will feel less swollen and your stomach will go down... there is going to be improvements... and you will be surprised how much better you feel 1 week on, 2 weeks on etc.

I am 6 weeks after the emergency c section tomorrow... so please message me if you want to talk to someone who has been through what you are going through now.

I promise it will get better.

 

[miss cakes]

i had staples with my first csection and i didnt realise i even had staples until i went to the toilet afterward and saw them it was a massive shock i felt like the bride of frankenstein! i totally get the mutilated feeling but remember even a natural birth you can tear and swell up an need stitches having a baby is a messy job however you birth them and ive had 3 csections and you cant even see my scar anymore unless you look really close its just a thin white line so it will get better over time i promise! x

 

[Leeze]

I remember feeling like that after my emergency c-section. It felt like a big piece of me had been butchered and didn't belong to me anymore. I also thought I was going to have a permanent over-hang and a huge scar. It's been a fairly gradual process but now I feel like I'm almost back to how I was before and I've grown to like my scar because it brought my LO safely into the world. Give yourself time and try to get whatever support you can. I had a debrief appointment with a consultant at the hospital 6 weeks after the c-section and this really helped me to talk through it again with a professional to see that I made the best decisions I could at the time based on the information I was given and the situation I was in. Don't forget, you've just had major surgery and it takes time to heal both physically and emotionally x

 

[Liesje]

I had an elective c-section and when I see my scar, I see it like a souvenir.
I think any kind of birth is going to leave your body mutilated to a certain degree.

 

[luvmybabygirl]

I felt like that after my EMCS because I felt like A: my body was a failure, B: traumatized beyond belief and C: exhausted and confused. It is a huge process, a major surgery and a trauma to your body.

be kind to yourself, I had much the same feelings after mine. It's been 16 weeks and I'm a little better