feeling really alone :(

[maria16]

hey im new to this, but i really need help as i feel as though i have noone to confide in.

basically last week i found out i was pregnant, quite a shocked as im on the pill. i told my bf straight away his first reaction was that what ever decsion i made he'll be here to support me, he then pursuaded me to tell my mum. she was very shocked and upset as she feels as though its 'not the right time' and that i will ruin my life if i continue with the pregancy. she kept saying that she will be there 4 me and help me have an abortion. i had an abortion when i was 16 and it was the worse thing i have ever done. so to be honest i dont want to have another one i feel as though at 20 i am mature enough to now step up to my responsibilty and be a mum. so i told my bf that im considering keep our baby. then all of a sudden he said that he thinks we shuldnt as we havnt got a place to live and have no money and it will cause him a lot of "stress"?!?!? fair enough hes worried but so am i but surely having an abortion isnt the only answer. now me and my bf are constanly arguein hes being very insensitive saying that im being "SELFISH" by having the baby. anyway after a lot of talking to my mum and bf i made an appointment to arrange a termination and i feel TERRIBLE i feel guilty and dirty . i feel that im being pressured and manipulated in having an abortion but if i dunt have one then it will destroy my family that i love dearly and i may become a single mum. so what do i do? any advice will be much appriciated thanks for reading xxx

 

[tinkabells]

Mmmm i cnat tell you what to do, but i would say, dont let other people push you into doing something you clearly dont want, his being selfish and thinking of himself and not just you and the baby, but your family need to understand its not what yu want.

Yeah its going to be hard, im gonna be a single mum father doesnt wanna no, but i am lucky i've got my parents to help me as still living at home, but i wouldnt rush into anything,because of how you fel after your other temination.
Good luck with your decision and there are loads of people on here you can chat to xxx

 

[AppleBlossom]

I can't TELL you what to do, but I can give you some advice. Being a single mum isn't the end of the world. I am a single mum and although it's hard it IS possible and you can still do thinkgs you want to do. In my personal opinion, if you don't want an abortion please don't get one. YOu say you already had one and you regretted it. You will regret this one too. Do not make anyone bully you into doing something you don't want to do. You're right, at 20 you are old enough to make your own decisions. Whether or not anyone else supports it is up to them but if they were worth anything they would stick by you regardless. Having a baby is hard work. If you feel that abortion isn't what you want but you can't see anyway in which you could bring up a baby whether it be to do with finances etc then there is always adoption. It's a tough situation but only you can make the right decision for yourself, no-one else. Good luck x

 

[kirst1805]

Won't tell you what to do.. but having a baby at 20 won't ruin your life.. Please don't let yourself be forced into doing something you don't want to do.

I'm sure you'll have people around to support you whatever descision you make.
Good luck. xx

 

[DizzyMoo]

Hun, As the ladies have said please don't let other people force you into a decision you are not 100% confident or happy with, I was a single mum at 22 so only just past your age & i've got a gorgeous well behaved, polite 3 1/2 yr old. My mum also mentioned abortion a few times & i felt a little pressured that's what SHE wanted but it wasn't what I wanted.
I'm preg again & i've just been left by the love of my life, So i'm going to be single mum to 2, & once again my mum was going on about abortion more so than last time & i felt more resent this time but several times i had to quite bluntly say no that's not what i want. End of day hun it is your life, so you decide what is right for you.
Being a single mum is not as bad it it seems, yes there are down times the same as being with a partner BUT the good days far outway the bad. I think a proper talk to maybe a doctor without family or the babies daddy there may help you.
I'm more than happy to chat with you on pm if you want to, good luck what ever you decide xxxxx hugs xxxxx

 

[Landingmach3]

I personally think he's selfish to want to off the baby just because it's inconvenient at this point in his life....you are not being selfish at all. If an abortion made you feel so terrible the first time....it makes no sense at all to get one again, does it? Being a single mom is hard...I admit. But it would be worth it to see that little bub of yours grow up with you. Don't let anyone pressure you into something you do not want to do. Do what you know is right in your heart....it is your baby and you will be the one to carry him or her. I'm a single mom at 20 and you are right, you can do it at this age! I'm wishing you all the luck in the world with your situation and saying a little prayer.

 

[Happybeans]

Please do exactly what you want. I am being told left right and centre to abort this baby but its my life and my decision as it is yours. You need to be sure and I'd say if you have any doubt then you really need to speak to an indepent person who u are close to.

what ever you decide, people here will support you.

If you need to talk privately private msg me. I no how u feel

keep strong

x

 

[tinkabells]

There are some councerllors out there that can help you, click this place and it will give you instant access to people in your area and you can aslo talk to them online if you scared of calling them

https://www.careconfidential.com/Onlineadvisor.aspx

 

[maria16]

thanks for all ur advice me and my bf are talking things through and things have gotten better and he apologized for what he said. hes just worried that we might not be able to cope and he doesnt want us to break up over the stress of having a baby, (which is fair enough) but he also said that woteva i decide to do he will be there to support me 100% my mum on the other hand is still giving me a hard time shes constantly talkin about an abortion and iv actually booked one for next weekend! but i told her that theres a very big chance im not gona go through with it, she said "dont be silly, stop living in a dream world" she's treating me like a child and thinks that im not serious when i say i DONT want an abortion. i do need my familys support though becasue im gona have to stay at home once the baby is born as i havnt got my own place yet also i love my parents to bits and the thought of them not being around for my baby is heartbreaking

has anyone been in a similar situation with their familys?

 

[Jkelmum]

Do NOT do anything you dont want to do ..if u bcome a single mum it wont be easy but will be worth it

 

[Eiroze]

x

 

[Actingprinces]

dont do something you dont want to do

 

[Actingprinces]

you can always talk to me

 

[Katieeeee]

A close friend of mine had an abortion last year. Like you, she was on the pill. She had an abortion because her parents and so called friends pushed her into it and she gave into the pressure and had it done. Only recently I found out that she totally regrets it, cries herself to sleep every night and is going counselling, and she told me that if she'd just had people's support then she'd NEVER have gone through with it.

Seriously, if you do NOT want to do it, DON'T. You will regret it for the rest of your life. It's your body and your life and no one else can dictate to you or manipulate you into doing something you don't want to do.

I really hope you make the right choice for you and that everything works itself out xx

 

[tootsy1987]

Does anyone know if she has kept the bubs?? any updates?? hope your ok hunny xxxxx