I want to share my experience with re-homing. I know this is an old post but I see this forum come up in search, so hopefully I can share my hard earned insights with someone.
After I had my baby I had severe OCD regarding cleanliness. I have mild cat allergies also, and used to tolerate it because I loved my cats. Postpartum, my feelings towards my cats changed. I used to consider them “my babies” but now that seemed melodramatic and childish once I had a “real” baby.
The first few 4 months they were quarantined in one of our bathrooms because I was completely overwhelmed with my new role as a mom. Re-homing was discussed with DH. I really didn’t want to, but cleaning up after them on top of everything was too much. (At this point, we were still ordering a lot of takeout and not even cooking or cleaning the house and barely sleeping) I was also worried about safety....(“will I EVER be able to step away for a few minutes without worrying if one of my cats will scratch her face?”)
I ended up giving one of the cats to the shelter. It was a really agonizing decision. DH and I discussed which of the cats was the easier one and we both agreed to keep one and re-home the other. We had even discussed re-homing both but I wanted to have a chance to see if reducing to one cat would make a difference in workload.
The day I dropped him off at the shelter I didn’t say goodbye. I barely looked at him. I think it was the only way I could go through with it. The first couple of months after I never cried. I think I was relieved. Having one cat has been easier for sure.
Well, guess what. Once my baby was 6.5 months, I came out of the “newborn” fog and couldn’t believe what I had done. It was as if I was a different person (again). I think the grief of re-homing which I suppressed was coming back to bite me. All of a sudden I kept thinking about him all the time and regretting it. Forget the cat hair, I feel like if I could do it all over again I would find a way to make it work. Now, I’m in a better position to actually think about cleaning routines and have the breathing room to relax.
It was a mistake to make a life changing decision (such as re-homing a beloved pet of 7 years) during the thick of newborn fog and severe sleep deprivation and overwhelm.
Re-homing may be right for some, for others, I recommend waiting until your baby is 7 months to see how you feel at that point. Find a sympathetic foster family who can temporarily take the pet so you can make a decision when you are not in such a desperate place.
just thinking about giving him away upsets me! i have a few friends who have kept the same breed around their children with no problems, i'm just going to have to keep my eye on him at all times!
