Feeling so down

[george83]

So I have 3 boys and my youngest is nearly 6 months old. I obviously love them to pieces but still find myself really sad that I haven't got my little girl that i'd always hoped for. I've just arranged to meet up with some old uni friends at the end of the month and I know at least one of them will make that wonderful comment "do you wish you'd had a girl". I'm sick of people blurting it out as if I'd never even considered it before.

Sorry for the rant just feeling it tonight

 

[donnarobinson]

Hope ur ok Hun I'm pregnant with boy number 3 j was so upset when I found out in fine now and can't wait to meet him but part of me still wants a girl and people always speak before the think . It's rude x hope ur ok x

 

[george83]

Congrats on your third, my youngest two spend a lot of time together with ds1 at school and they are so cute together I'm sure yours will be the same.

I know it's just something that people say and I should learn to ignore it but it doesn't get any easier to hear.

 

[Misscalais]

1st of all congratulations on 3 boys.
I have 3 too and i hate the comments i get as well. Everyone kept saying to me oh you need to have a 4th to get a girl. Random people down town make snide remarks about how hard it must be to have 3 boys etc
I feel like saying can't you just be happy i have 3 healthy alive happy boys?
I suffered GD with my 3rd quite badly and not because hes a boy but because i had to give up my dream of a daughter.
I'm now 14 and a bit weeks with a surprise baby and every single person i have told ( which is only my family and 2 friends ) have said oh i hope its a girl this time. It makes me so mad because im so desperate for baby to be a girl and if its not i just dont want to deal with the negative comments.

 

[winterbabies3]

Just think, out of your three boys I am sure you will get a granddaughter! My mom tried to prepare me this pregnancy incase I heard it was a boy again and that's what she told me=) it's true, even tho it wouldn't be your child it would still be your grandchild and they're the best I hear I am extremely close to my grandmother and find her to be my second mother. We went out to lunch and shopping and always had a conversation going (she was so much easier to talk to than my mom) I wish you luck and hope you find peace

 

[motherofboys]

Congratulations on your 3rd boy. But I too know that feeling. I have 4 boys, the youngest is 2 in less than 2 weeks. I love them all to bits and their different personalities and the different relationships between them all, but I still feel that girl I expected to have is missing. I have a history of depression anyway and there have been times when gender desire had driven me back into depression. Deep.

 

[pinklightbulb]

I only have two boys and I get it from everyone about girls too. It sucks

 

[george83]

Thanks ladies, I'm glad to know im not alone it just gets to me sometimes more than others. I know I'm incredibly lucky to have my three boys and I need to accept some things aren't meant to be

 

[motherofboys]

Some days are harder than others. Some days I don't even want to be around people with daughters, some days I think I can be happy with my family the way it is, some days I just want another baby even if it will be another boy.
Its nice knowing that we aren't alone in this and having other people to work through the process with

 

[embeth]

Sorry you are feeling down.. I felt
Down when I found out I was pregnant with my third boy..I though we were done after 3 and although I couldn't wait to have him after my initial
Disappointment I still just felt sad for the daughter I thought I'd have. The constant stupid comments really didn't help people say such thoughtless things, some made me very defensive of my boys. Sometimes things change tho and having been told I'm now carrying a girl was something I thought I'd never hear. You never know what the future may bring for u.. If this one had been a boy I just kept reminding myself how much I adore my ds 3 despite being disappointed initially and that this one would have been just the same.
Hope u feel happier soon xxx

 

[allforthegirl]

Sure I love all five and soon to be six boys.....but I too get all the unwanted comments from people family, friends, or strangers. They will all laugh at if it is this big joke. Which just makes my disappointment even worse.

My DH and I agreed before we knew we were having that he would get fixed so this one would be our last. I can hardly handle the disappointment this time, I don't know what I would do if it happened again....I am still struggling. As I am so sick and tired of stinky boys stuff.

 

[motherofboys]

I get that. I feel so bad but sometimes when ds4 wants me to play batman or ninja turtles with him I just feel so sick of it, playing the same games and same toys that I've played for years. Why can't I play with dolls houses and tea sets and Princess toys. Yes I know she probably would be heavily influenced by hey brothers and not even like those things. Shopping for clothes, Jeans t-shirt hoodie four times over, why no little dresses for me? Why do others get to do that and not us?
I've had people, people who are meant to be friends, laugh in my face and say "you're the only one of us without a girl now" and "you shouldn't have any more, it would just be another boy" which at once makes me sad but also angry, so what if it was a boy? Other than my own desire for a girl, what would be so wrong about having a boy? Like my baby would be of less valve because it was a boy.

 

[allforthegirl]

I get that. I feel so bad but sometimes when ds4 wants me to play batman or ninja turtles with him I just feel so sick of it, playing the same games and same toys that I've played for years. Why can't I play with dolls houses and tea sets and Princess toys. Yes I know she probably would be heavily influenced by hey brothers and not even like those things. Shopping for clothes, Jeans t-shirt hoodie four times over, why no little dresses for me? Why do others get to do that and not us?
I've had people, people who are meant to be friends, laugh in my face and say "you're the only one of us without a girl now" and "you shouldn't have any more, it would just be another boy" which at once makes me sad but also angry, so what if it was a boy? Other than my own desire for a girl, what would be so wrong about having a boy? Like my baby would be of less valve because it was a boy.

Exactly why I have not told one of my best friends yet. I have avoided seeing her, she is really busy and I am too, so our schedules are thankfully not matching. She laughed at me last time, and has made little comments here and there. So I just don't want to tell her. I need her in my life but at the same time I don't need that, I need her support.

 

[motherofboys]

This person was supposed to be one of my best friends. With Ds1 she asked if I was disappointed! I was thrilled I loved the idea of a couple of boys first. I had always wished for a big brother.
I had just had Ds3 and she found out she was having a girl after a boy.
I haven't spoken to her since April, I've had to hide her from my news feed. She just had another girl in may, her new partner, babies dad, had a bunch of boys from his previous relationship (there's 5 of them but apparently not all are his as his wife had a habit of cheating on him) so if course she is some wonder woman to be worshiped giving him his first daughter and she isn't nice about it

 

[laila 44]

you poor girls. I really really feel for you....I really do believe everyone should have at least one daughter and it's got nothing to do with princess stuff it's a bond thing. I have 2 girls and am pregnant with #3 now we would love another girl and have no interest in a boy it's not the reason why we decided on another. I do have a friend that was tired of having boys she had 4 and on her fifth conceived a girl via sperm washing iui technique. You may want to look into it if you feel that strongly about a certain sex ( for next time ofcourse). I would feel the same so don't feel bad about the way you feel it makes sense but you will overcome it and love your kids no matter what. I hope you find that peace soon xx

 

[Taurus8484]

you poor girls. I really really feel for you....I really do believe everyone should have at least one daughter and it's got nothing to do with princess stuff it's a bond thing. I have 2 girls and am pregnant with #3 now we would love another girl and have no interest in a boy it's not the reason why we decided on another. I do have a friend that was tired of having boys she had 4 and on her fifth conceived a girl via sperm washing iui technique. You may want to look into it if you feel that strongly about a certain sex ( for next time ofcourse). I would feel the same so don't feel bad about the way you feel it makes sense but you will overcome it and love your kids no matter what. I hope you find that peace soon xx

Sorry but I find this really offensive. I had gd when I found out I had another boy knowing I would never have a girl but they are the BEST thing that ever happened to me. I have the most amazing bond with them. They are mine. My blood and flesh and to see you write that I will never have "that bond" is just ridiculous. Hope your next one is a boy so you can see how wonderful, loving and beautiful they are and you can experience a mother and son bond.

 

[motherofboys]

I was thrilled to have boys first. I always wanted a couple of boys first. I have a better relationship with men than women and prefer boys toys. I just get fed up playing with the same things all the time for so many years. I always imagined a mix, and if I had all girls I would still be in here hoping for a boy. I guess I'm just greedy, I want it all. I want to experience both genders. I want to shop in both sides of the store. I have a horrible bond with my mother, we have never been close. My mum and nan were not close either. Bond wise I believe that your personalities and the things you do together to build on that bond are the biggest factors.
I am not sad that I have boys, and I would not change the fact that have 4 boys. I would have just liked to have had a girl as well. If ds4 could have been boy /girl twins that would have been perfect for me. I would have got all my boys, plus a girl.

 

[allforthegirl]

I was thrilled to have boys first. I always wanted a couple of boys first. I have a better relationship with men than women and prefer boys toys. I just get fed up playing with the same things all the time for so many years. I always imagined a mix, and if I had all girls I would still be in here hoping for a boy. I guess I'm just greedy, I want it all. I want to experience both genders. I want to shop in both sides of the store. I have a horrible bond with my mother, we have never been close. My mum and nan were not close either. Bond wise I believe that your personalities and the things you do together to build on that bond are the biggest factors.
I am not sad that I have boys, and I would not change the fact that have 4 boys. I would have just liked to have had a girl as well. If ds4 could have been boy /girl twins that would have been perfect for me. I would have got all my boys, plus a girl.

I am the same....I love my boys and wouldn't change them for a second!! i would have just loved to have added a female to the mix. I unlike you never liked boys games, so I was very happy for them to have each other to play with. But I am bored of all the boys things in this house. I would love to add some girly things in the house.....knowing that won't happen, is a hard pill to swallow....but I can't change that, and I am sure he will be another I will never change.