Yesterday was the first chance I got to sit and actually think about everything, and it hit me that it had happened again. It was only a week ago I was in Mothercare looking at boys clothes and talking about "feelings on the sex." I found it so hard to let myself believe it would be alright after last time, but something told me it would be alright. Quite clearly I don't know my body very well at all. I still feel sick, and I'm still so tired, but digi says I'm not pregnant anymore, so it definately is over my body is just toying with me. I keep getting distracted and forgetting my doctors appointments so they don't even know it has happened again yet. I know they won't care though. I'm 20 and have a baby already, why should I want another one? Every time this happens I do appreciate Caitlyn so much more (if that's possible) and I love her so much. It's killing me that my body won't let me give her a little brother or sister, and that I don't deserve another baby. I hate myself for resenting other people and reading people moaning about the downside of pregnancy. I just... I don't know... Jealousy is an evil thing, and resentment is even worse.