feeling worried...is it risky to try straight away?

[kitkez]

Hi. I had a mc 2 weeks ago. I was just over 15 weeks and had a small amount of bleeding on the friday. Hadn't been too worried but got sent to a&e anyway. The doctor looked at my cervix and said I had an abrasion and all was fine. No one checked baby or did a scan. I bled slightly more Saturday but out it down to being messed with and then taking swabs as I bleed after smear tests. Sunday was slightly worse again but i figured it was pointless going back to the hospital as we were told they don't scan at weekends. Sunday night I had mild cramps and was starting to get concerned at that point. Monday was slightly worse again, but what worried me most was the cramps were coming and going rather than being constant. We rang the midwife who sent us back to hospital telling us we must see a gynecology doctor. At hospital all they did was feel my belly and book me for a scan 2 days later. They wouldn't let me see the gyny doctor. Said there was no point.

So we came away very angry and headed over to Manchester for a private scan. By the time we had got there my cramps were hurting and felt like contractions (i've had 2 previous healthy pregnancies). I was very scared and fearing the worst. I knew we were loosing him at that point.

There was no heartbeat at the scan. He measured about 13 weeks but they couldn't tell properly as he was so squashed 😭

I rang the midwife who rang the doctor and was admitted onto the ward that night. I had the mc the next day. I opted for medically assisted as they wouldn't do d&c but I had him 45 mins after taking pills so they hadn't even kicked in properly. So it's more like I mc naturally.

We have opted for an autopsy but we're told we wouldn't have results for 12 weeks 😪

Anyway back to my question. I finished bleeding and we had sex yesterday. We had bought condoms as we were advised to wait a few cycles and advisied it was probably best to wait till after our autopsy results (Altho we didn't have to), but we ended up having unprotected sex. Silly i know but I'm also desperate to be pregnant again. Especially since my best friend just found out shes expecting and i have 2 other friends who are currently expecting.

Is it risky getting pregnant so soon after with me loosing him at 13 weeks? . I know you can ovultate straight away and I've had really stringy discharge (sorry tmi).

I'm happy my husband didn't want to use condoms but worried I'm being irresponsible. I just want to be pregnant so badly

Any advice from others who have been in the same situation would be very much appreciated xx

Kerry

 

[annio84]

Hi and sorry for your loss. I had a mmc 3 weeks ago now and my story is quite similar to yours it seems but I was 14 weeks and baby measure 12.

From what I have read there is some evidence to suggest that getting pregnant again within 3-6 months increases your chance of having a healthy pregnancy next time.

I want to try again as soon as possible but am currently still bleeding on and off. I really wish it would just finish so I can get to work on my rainbow. Many women do get pregnant straight away and have healthy babies.

 

[annio84]

Also it's not silly to want to be pregnant again. My sister was just 6 weeks ahead of me and there have been several pregnancy announcements in just the last 2 weeks. I completely feel as though the only thing that will make me feel better is having another baby. It won't replace the one we lost but I just feel like such a failure right now.

 

[kitkez]

That's exactly how I feel. I desperately just want to be pregnant again. Since the miscarriage my best friend has announced she's pregnant and there's been so many announcements on Facebook. I feel surrounded by it. Its horrible to know I should have been nearing the mid point of my pregnancy and now I'm back to square one. I feel so selfish wanting to be pregnant again. It breaks my heart that we lost our baby boy but all I can think is how much longer it is now till I finally have a baby in my arms. I don't want to wait and make that time even longer. I feel wrong for feeling like this though.

I'm sorry to hear about your loss also

I hope that's true about healthier pregnancies. I feel like I took it for granted as we'd never had problems before. I didn't appreciate the pregnancy. Just assumed everything would be fine

I just feel selfish. I feel like I let him down xx

 

[LoraLoo]

I'm sorry for your loss. We had 2 second Tri losses (15 and 18 weeks)

After my 15 week loss I got pregnant after 1 cycke but miscarried, fell pregnant straight away again and miscarried again. On the scan they saw something that looked like a sac but wasnt- im convinced there was something left over from the 15 week loss that kept causing me to miscarry, but that's just my theory. I then got pregnant straight away again with twins, we lost one, but the other was born healthy.

I think you just have to do what feels right. We never waited for results even though we were advised to. Good luck

 

[lian_83]

I think trying straight away is a coping mechanism to handle the grief.
MCed at 13 weeks, bub's probably died a week ago. I hemorrhaged and lost consciousness and was ambulanced to save my life. It was horrible, i was bleeding so much and kept on passing out. The OB pried mu cervix open and cleaned the gunk inside. I don't know why the baby died so I am also waiting for results of the postmortem.
DH said we can try again, but I think he was just saying that to make me feel better. Right now, I am still recovering physically. I would like to try soon, but afraid I might miscarry again.

 

[Kelskiii]

Sorry for your loss

I am currently going through medical management - I found out 2 days ago baby stopped growing at 6+4 I thought I was 10 weeks.

I was thinking of not trying but not preventing for the next few months and see what happens. Not put any pressure on myself & try to grieve (pretty hard when you have a 3 year old).

 

[kitkez]

Sorry to hear about all your losses. Every one sounds awful. Wish there was a way to stop ourselves being so scared next time. Its been 6 weeks now. We haven't been 'trying'. My husband wants to get the autopsy back first. However we haven't been using protection and I ovulated this week and we've done the deed twice. I'm excited because I know I have a chance. Nervous because I know I have a chance lol and also worried how my husband will feel if I do get pregnant.

I was in Asda 2 days ago. Saw all the baby boys clothes and everyone seems so cute. There was a jumper that said daddy's handsome boy. I would have had my 20 scan by now and I know I would have bought that. Coukdnt help but well up in the middle of the shop. I thought I wanted a child badly before but it's nothing to how I feel now. I miss my baby boy so much and I didn't even meet him. Makes no sense to me. I miss what I didn't ever get x

 

[mayacat]

We lost a little boy too just after Christmas at 12 weeks. His heartbeat was strong on the 23rd, and he was gone 3 days later. I miscarried the night after we found out. Neural tube defect. I'm desperate to get pregnant again too. It's totally a coping mechanism. We NTNP the first month and started trying in Jan, but it just ended in a chemical yesterday. It's so hard. I'm praying the next one is our bean #2. It was so easy to conceive and have DD, I wasn't expecting #2 to be so hard.