fighting siblings?

[trumpetbum]

Anyone else coping with siblings who can't seem to spend 10 minutes together sometimes without declaring war on each other?
I have two very sweet daughters 8 and almost 11. The younger one is very well behaved, polite and helpful and the older one while definitely harder work and with a few social, maturity and attention issues is generally well behaved and nice to be around. That is individually!! Sometimes it feels as though they can't be around each other without shouting, screaming and fighting and of course it was always the other one who started it etc, etc. The world is unfair to them because they got into trouble and it wasn't their fault etc. I usually cope quite well and deal with these outbursts as they arise but I'm finding it difficult due to being on clinical placement for the next ten weeks, coping with this afterwards and at the weekends, i sometimes feel like just locking my room doo and letting them get on with it, this pregnancy is bringing out the inner 10 year old in ME. Everyone tells me this is normal for same sex siblings so close in age but constantly??
Has anyone successfully curbed this?
I would like to get more on top of it before the baby comes along, especially as they are so great otherwise and I hate being on their case all the time. I should mention that we do get the occassional moments of bliss, when they play well together and then I think 'ah why can't they be like that at least 50% of the time

Ahh vent over, that feels good

 

[TattiesMum]

I'd love to be able to tell you that it's easy (or even possible) to sort this one out!

My two daughters are exactly 2 years apart in age ... they have the odd hour or two where they get along but usually they are at each other's throats for something or other: I swear to God that they could argue over who's breathing more air!!

It's driven me mad for years, but if I get involved then I'm obviously accused of favouring one more than the other or they somehow manage to draw me into their strange little 'angry' world.

Having said that they actually adore one another and if something happens to either of them, or someone else hurts either of them then they suddenly become furies in each other's defence LOL

This has been going on since they were tiny ..... they are now 18 and 20 so don't expect respite any time soon

 

[trumpetbum]

Thanks for replying. They WOULD argue over who's breathing more air and they are also very 'them against the world' when need be. I may need to emigrate if there's no chance of respite though Thanks

 

[louise1302]

my boys are 10 11 and 12 and yup its the same with boys although fists fly in here. theres only 11 months between the first 2 and 14 months between second and third and since they were about 5 6 and 7 the fightings gone on

i find they fight more when they are bored so if i sense it beginning i give them something to do but yeah they can row over who has the most chips, who is the fattest and whether the sun is shining or not

 

[babyblessed]

totally know where you are at, my sons are 8 and 2 so i thought the age gap would be too big for arguments, how wrong I was! I have come on here for a bit to stop me shouting one or the other of their names, I am going to loose my voice soon

i find giving myself time out is the best option then i am more calm and collected to deal with their arguing considerately

good luck, sharing your pain

 

[GlassSlipper]

My mum is excally the same with me and my younger brother!

When we were younger i wouldn't even sit next to him let alone play with him. I'm 18 now and he's 16 we still don't get along like best friends but he's my little brother and i do love him. My ex boyfriend was play fighting with me one day, all my brother seen was him push me so he ran over and started a huge fight with him! One of my friends at school laughed at him for being deaf, i got into A LOT of trouble because i punched her in the face.... twice. We don't see eye to eye but if anyone hurts one of us the other is very quick to defend

 

[pinkie77]

Yep, my two girls are like that, at each other's throats 99% of the time! But they do love each other and woe betide anyone that hurts or upsets one! I think it's just a normal sibling thing.

They have got better since they've had their own rooms but obviously in about a year they might have to move back in together!