Finance worries... rant alert!

[opticalillus5]

Hey ladies...

I'm really sorry, but I just need to get this off my chest - I'm all over the place today, I feel churned up inside and I know it's not good for the baby.

I'm currently living (financially) as a single parent to a 4year old, and have been for 3 1/2 years. I've been with my current partner for 3 years, but he has stayed living with his mum so that he could save up a deposit for a house for us. We now have around £15,000 in savings which would give us a deposit on a £100,000 house (a semi-detached in our area).

Problem is, I'm a trainee teacher on a 1 year PGCE course (I graduated from uni last year). At the moment i'm living from a student loan, and £666 a month which is given to me tax free from the government as i'm training to be a teacher.

I was told I had PCOS when pregnant with my daughter, and had a mmc before her. I have hormone problems too, so with this in mind me and my current partner decided to begin trying for a baby last month (as it could take us ages to concieve). I looked into it, and was told that I would get some kind of maternity allowance when the baby was born.

Well, I caught on in our first month of trying, which took us both by suprise... A good one though - we are thrilled. We are now looking into a mortgage and trying to work out what we can afford. I will finish my PGCE in june, then have the baby in september, so obviously can't get a job starting in sept at a school. I've just called a benefits advice line and they said that, because I haven't been working, I won't get any maternity allowance. So, basically, I was mis-informed and we'll actually get nothing! His £29,000 per year wage is meant to cover us both, even though our mortgage payments will be about £600 without insurance, council tax or bills. BUT it's ok, i'm not meant to panic, because I will get an extra £13 a week child benefit for the new baby. Ah, that's alright then.

I've got an essay due on wednesday, and I just can't concentrate. I'm still having cramps, which only add to my worries. With my ex in 2005, we struggled with money (as he never worked and spent mine) and had to buy clothes and equipment for my daughter from car boot sales and second hand shops. He then walked out when he managed to get a job, leaving me homeless and in thousands of pounds worth of debt - he still doesn't pay for her now. My new partner is fantastic, he has a stable job and has saved for our new house. But i'm just terrified that we're going to struggle with money again.... I was so certain that it would be different this time with this pregnancy. And now it's just all gone wrong again.

Plus, I have a horse. How am I meant to afford her when I have to live soely from my partner's wage? I'll have no incomings myself. But i've had her for 10 years, she's part of the family and such a big part of my life.

I'm just so fed up and worried. We've tried for this baby, I'm meant to be happy. And we got engaged xmas eve - this is meant to be the happiest time of my life.

 

[Tanya83]

awww hun, I didn't want to read and run but I haven't been in this possition myself.
OH! I just thought of something, have you looked in to what working tax and child tax credits you can recieve? they are a god send!

I hope things work out for you hun, best thing you can do is take 1 day at a time and try to stay positive.

xx

 

[doddy0402]

u should definitely be getting some sort of tax credit once baby is born, everyone should be entitled to something as long as combined income is under 50000 pounds. check the tax credits website, that might give you some reassurance! good luck!!xxx

 

[Amy_T]

Yep - what the girls said - tax credits. I think its www.entitledto.com and there is an online calculator which will tell you how much you can get. It might not be a massive amount (think we get a basic rate of £140 a month) but it's enough to cover council tax or something.

 

[LankyDoodle]

I would contact CAB. Because of your partner's wage, you may not get a great deal of tax credits (my husband earns just under what yours earns and we can only get £21 a week until she is 1 and £10.50 a week thereafter, plus £10 a week child benefit.

You may be entitled to some income support if you cannot get MA.

I did the PGCE myself so I do understand your quandary.

Good luck.

 

[aurora]

Wow that really sucks! Is there any way OH can pick up a part time job? Or delay the house a bit? Babies are more important than houses houses are always there for the buying.
Do you live on your own? If so how does him living with his parents help finances?

 

[opticalillus5]

Hey ladies - thanks so much for the advice. I've checked it out and should be able to get about another £20 per week tax credits - it's not much but it's something! Feeling much more upbeat today as I've kinda figured that we'll manage, even if things will be a little bit of a struggle for a while.
Thank you all so much,

 

[Tanya83]

Thats great news! £20 can help a great deal ... it's £20 more than you had! woot!!!!

Thanks for keeping us posted hun, I am glad you got a positive result!

xx


EDIT: have you looked at getting the vouchers for milk/veggies and fruit? You should be able to get them, I am 80% sure they are for ALL pregnant women and children under a certain age.
Also, you will get £190 from the govenment later on in your pregnancy, somewhere in the 3rd tri AND you may be able to get a maternity grat of up to £500-£600 also in the 3rd tri... take a look hun cos these may also help put your mind at ease a little more.

 

[Sarahkka]

If I were you, I'd take the pressure off about buying a house. Maybe this isn't the best time to take on a mortgage? Life is funny that way, but staying flexible is important.
Keep your cost of living as low as you can and keep squirreling a little bit away - you'll get there eventually and in a stronger position. You don't want a mortgage threatening the financial health of your family, and they most certainly can do that if you take on more than you can afford. That will put a lot of strain on both of you and your LOs.
Another suggestion is to look at ways that your house or hobby can earn you money. For example, can you rent out a room? Can you teach riding lessons on your horse? That sort of thing. That little bit extra could cancel out the expense of the horse or take the pressure off of the mortgage.
Where there's a will, there's a way - just crunch your numbers, and remember - in the end, it's just money, honey!
The healthy, happy family is what really counts.

 

[Blah11]

Your OHs salary is more than both our combined salaries LOL so you'll do just fine hun We have a mortgage too and got one when Amelie was 5 months old. TBH I don't think there's any point in you not going to buya house as you'll still need to pay rent on a 3 bed house All our tax credits go on Amelies nursery fees so we don't really get any extra money for anything else cept for the child benefit. Anyway we pay all our bills and get food, pay off credit cards and loan repayments and still have about £200 spare at the end of the month.