Finding it hard to accept my sister's honeymoon pregnancy and feeling guilty about it

[Lunabelle]

I had my ET on Monday and have exactly a week to wait for my beta test on the 14.7. Feels like such a long way away! I am trying not to obsess and keep my mind occupied but it would be great to wait for the results with someone else going through the same.

A little bit of a background of us, we have been trying to conceive for 1,5 years and this is our first round of ivf. I had 16 eggs removed, 14 mature and 11 fertilised. 6 survived to blastocyst phase but only one medium-good quality the rest medium and all of them had stopped evolving by the 6th day. So of course I am worried that the one inside me has stopped evolving as well but we will just have to wait and see and hope for the best.

I also feel like an incredibly bad person right now because I am finding it hard that my sister got married 3 months ago and is now 3months pregnant. She got pregnant on their honeymoon. I cried when she told me. She doesn't know that we are going thru ivf and I can't tell her now. I have always been waiting for them to have a child and i am so happy she doesn't have to go thru the same pain we have been thru, I wouldnt wish this nightmare on my worst enemy.

I have though of all the positives, how cute the baby will be and what it will look like. How my sister will be a good mother and how happy I am for her. I am just hoping that I get pregnant too and that our little monsters can grow up together being nearly the same age. I am hoping that the pregnancy goes well and they have a healthy baby. And I am imagining myself holding their newborn baby and us still going thru ivf. And that is what makes me cry because I don't want to still be in the same situation when their baby is born, I don't know where to find the courage to go through it. If that happens I don't know where I will find the strength to smile and celebrate like I should be when their baby is born. And that is what scares me. I don't want to be that person.

 

[Unlucky41]

Hugs to you Luna. This situation happened to me twice. First time three years ago I was doing my 5th ivf cycle and my sister told me I am pregnant when she and her husband were living in different states. Luckily two months later with a fet I also fell pregnant so my misery disappeared for a while.

3 months ago my sister announced she was pregnant when I was told by my RE that I should stop ivf because I don't have a good chance to take another baby home. Please check out my journal for my nightmare journey if you have time.

I totally understand what you are feeling. You want to be happy for your sister but you feel so much pain for yourself. I am very close to my sister so she knew I was going through ivf. Since she announced I have kept my distance I don't want to upset myself more than I have to.

Praying that you have a sticky bean inside. This is your first ivf they can change your protocol to get better results. Don't lose faith keep fighting for your bundle of joy!

 

[Nolimitxox]

I had my ET on Monday and have exactly a week to wait for my beta test on the 14.7. Feels like such a long way away! I am trying not to obsess and keep my mind occupied but it would be great to wait for the results with someone else going through the same.

A little bit of a background of us, we have been trying to conceive for 1,5 years and this is our first round of ivf. I had 16 eggs removed, 14 mature and 11 fertilised. 6 survived to blastocyst phase but only one medium-good quality the rest medium and all of them had stopped evolving by the 6th day. So of course I am worried that the one inside me has stopped evolving as well but we will just have to wait and see and hope for the best.

I also feel like an incredibly bad person right now because I am finding it hard that my sister got married 3 months ago and is now 3months pregnant. She got pregnant on their honeymoon. I cried when she told me. She doesn't know that we are going thru ivf and I can't tell her now. I have always been waiting for them to have a child and i am so happy she doesn't have to go thru the same pain we have been thru, I wouldnt wish this nightmare on my worst enemy.

I have though of all the positives, how cute the baby will be and what it will look like. How my sister will be a good mother and how happy I am for her. I am just hoping that I get pregnant too and that our little monsters can grow up together being nearly the same age. I am hoping that the pregnancy goes well and they have a healthy baby. And I am imagining myself holding their newborn baby and us still going thru ivf. And that is what makes me cry because I don't want to still be in the same situation when their baby is born, I don't know where to find the courage to go through it. If that happens I don't know where I will find the strength to smile and celebrate like I should be when their baby is born. And that is what scares me. I don't want to be that person.

Envy is a natural emotion to feel during this very exciting and sensitive time. Everything you feel is totally normal. This is a great place to get the support you need and crave when you can't nessicarily rely on your close family members. I'm waiting to do IVF, we've been struggling for 6 years. My sister in law had her first ivf cycle not even a year into trying, and it drove me mad, and I had thoughts I never thought would pop into my head. It will pass in time, but for now, let lose on here! We have your back praying for your hopefully sticky bean!

 

[Nolimitxox]

You can also private message me if you want to talk more in depth. I'd be happy to talk to you.

 

[2ducks]

We all have those thoughts at times, especially after LTTTC. I have had some mean thoughts towards others and then felt guilty for thinking that way. I just remind myself that the negative thoughts/feelings have nothing to do with the other person and everything to do with myself. And then I remind myself that many other women feel the same way as me when they are having difficulty ttc.

 

[Lunabelle]

Thanks for all your kind replies.

Yes, one thing is for sure it's that people who have not gone through infertility can't understand what it is like. And that's why it's great that there are these support forums

It would be very hard otherwise as in the real world I feel like we're the only ones going thru this. It is very difficult to keep believing that one day us too will have a baby..

Unlucky 41, I'm really sorry to hear that you have to stop IVF. But I'm very happy that ivf worked for you once.

Nolimit, when will you be starting IVF? Just a few months ago we too were waiting and looking back I wish I had followed an even healthier diet. For the next round of ivf I have made a better health plan