Finding STRENGTH!

[jaytee146]

I just tried to close my eye's and nap while my lo is sleeping but i've had a nightmare about my ex again. . . i don't understand why i saw the sign's and knowingly kept chasing him for his love and affection. i help him destroy me and my positive self image. what was it in me? i'm hoping i figure it out. i never want my child to see me that weak, desperate, and vunerable for any man. i often dream i'm back in the house with him. . . and i remember feeling a knot and sick feeling in my stomach before he came. i'd never knew if he were drunk or had a rough day and i was the punching bag. . . in my dream i sit on the couch and the door turns and it.'s him. that scares me. some day.s i have to admit i am envious of genuinely happy couples who i witness share in the life they created together. my child's father could care less about her existence, what do i tell her when she's older? i find myself day dreaming of what life woulda been like sharing my first pregnancy with someone. i get weak sometimes and overwhelmed at the thought of raising my daughter. some day's i wish someone would walk up to me and hug me. i just want to be embraced and comforted and told everything is okay, even if it.'s a lie.

 

[jaytee146]

I'm so sad i can't sleep at nite without my lo

 

[jessrabbit]

I hope you are feeling better when you wake up. I know what you mean, people dont get it when couples bring their new baby into work together and I get upset.

I wish I had what they had

Hugs to you, we just got to keep trying our best xxx

 

[Laura2919]

Its hard to adjust to a new life. Dont beat yourself up.

It can be so soul destroying going through a seperation especially when children are involved but you will get there. You will find someone who wont use you as a punch bag and wont talk to you like your nothing. You will be someones everything, you just have to realise that it might not be tomorrow, next week, next month or even next year but it WILL come.

It took me to have a fumble with another man to realise what I wanted in life. I want a happy loving home for my children, right now I can do that without a man and when a man comes along it will be the right time for us..

Keep strong ladies.. Im always here if you need a private chat

 

[jessrabbit]

Well said x

 

[Laura2919]

Thank you

Its true though. Always remember the person trying to bring you down is already below you...

I was going to have this saying tattoed on my back but opted for a nicer version

 

[jaytee146]

i needed the morning inspiration! thank you

 

[jessrabbit]

x

 

[Laura2919]

Its afternoon here What time is it where you are?

Its true. Your above him.