First midwife appt - Too early to mention Homebirth?

[Eliza_V]

I've got my first midwife appointment today, is it too early to mention wanting to give birth at home? I know she will probably try and convince me otherwise, but if I make my opinions and wishes clear early will it work in my favour or will she think I'm stubborn and see it as some sort of personal challenge to get me to give birth in a hospital as I'm obviously wrong in her eyes.. I've heard such horror stories about some NHS midwives and I don't want to be pushing any buttons. I know it's my right but I don't want to be shouting that as soon as I go in there lol.

What are your experiences? x

 

[MrsWatson]

The first question I got asked by my midwife was if I wanted to have my baby at home! I was already thinking about it, and she convinced me it was the best and safest option for a low risk pregnancy.

I guess I'm lucky that where I live (Northampton) they have a dedictae dhome birth team.

 

[Charlie_x]

i know most midwifes support it i was too scared to speak to mine about it and choose to have a home birth at the last minute it was all sorted within days which was lucky cause like 4 days later he caame lmao!! good luck hunny i hope you have a home birth dont feel like its too early but you also got lots of time x

 

[Eliza_V]

Thanks guys

PS Charlie.. I know you.. Check your FB.. Haha x

 

[Eliza_V]

And I will definately mention it today Thanks xx

 

[Charlie_x]

pmsl freaky stuff haha!!

but seriously tho i didnt have as much gas and air 2nd time round and i felt more in control and it was nice to be in my own sourrdings, jack was born on my sofa on top of shower curtains there was no mess (oh i tell a lie 1 tiny drop of blood but you couldnt find it unless you looked for it!!) they took all the mess away with them afterwards etc!

 

[chuck]

I got asked this time and last at booking where do you intend to give birth lol.

Get your plans in asap so they aware of your intentions.

 

[Charlie_x]

i never got asked lmao i think most just asume you want to give birth in a hopistal! ill probs get asked this time tho because previous home birth will be in my notes!

 

[Jenniflower]

I was asked in my first meeting which hospital I would want to give birth at so you could just mention it in there if she asks you. I thought I wanted a hospital birth at first but just last week let my midwfie know I changed my mind and she was fine with it.

 

[Eliza_V]

Just got back - I was asked and said Home Birth I also asked how often they happened round here, and they have a dedicated team apparently as it's pretty popular

However.. They're sending me off for consultant-led care rather than midwife-led care as some previous problems (with heart, but they aren't major) mean they want me to be checked out to see if I'm "safe".. They made me pick a hospital as a "back-up" but I'm assuming people do that anyway just in case? I will push and push (haha pardon the pun) for a homebirth but I don't know if they will let me. But the community midwife was lovely and said wait and see, it might be ok considering I was discharged from the cardio clinic as it won't cause any major problems for years, if ever. What's going on now is fairly easy to live with.

Also she said the hospitals manage to "find out" if you have early private scans and can refuse you a 12 week scan if you've had a scan already!! The "meet your baby" one says on the website "A Baby Bonding Ultrasound Scan is in no way a replacement for your routine hospital appointments and scans. You should always attend your hospital scans as required. " - even though it's called a "dating/gestation scan".. If they decide to get the arse and refuse an appointment I will screw.. Can they refuse me a scan under the NHS if I want the Nuchal scan?

Xxxx

 

[kiwimama]

I'm glad your midwife is supportive, do make sure you go into the consultant appointments ready to push your desire for a homebirth, as everything I've heard about them, they don't want women to have homebirths!
As for the scans, I'm not sure because I'm not from the UK. Hope someone else can provide a good answer for you.

 

[Eliza_V]

I will definately be pushing - I know how annoying and closed-minded some consultants can be unfortunately! (Don't get me wrong though, they've worked very hard to get where they are and they're obviously very good at what they do, but are often set into one way of thinking).

Thanks x

 

[Charlie_x]

im pretty sure they cant refuse you hun!! my midwife didnt seem to know about my extra scans, the only thing the hopsital sent them was to say i was pregnant and care was to be split x

 

[Eliza_V]

But they still may refuse me the homebirth and make out that my heart is worse than it actually is or something.. If that's the fecking case then they should'nt have refused the surgery or invasive diagnostic testing for it as "it's not a problem at the moment".. MASSIVE contradiction eh?

Let's wait and see

 

[Eliza_V]

Oh that and I asked the cardiologist if he wasn't giving me the surgery, would it affect me or be dangerous when I'm pregnant/giving birth and he said No.. Hmm. NHS trying to save money methinks.

 

[Tegans Mama]

Hun, they can't 'refuse' you a home birth - they can recommend you birth in a hospital but they can't say 'if you have a home birth no one will be there to look after you.' If they start saying what they recommend and it's NOT what you want (and you are healthy etc) tell them you have considered their recommendation and you understand the risk involved but you want a home birth.
Can you tell I've been rehearsing this speech?

 

[Eliza_V]

Haha I will be rehearsing the above! If they try and say that my heart makes it dangerous, I'll ask why I was discharged from the clinic being told it won't affect my everyday life, and that it WONT affect be when I'm pregnant/giving birth. See how they react then

Thanks! x