First pregnancy and so nervous!

[AndiAmsterdam]

Lately, I have been feeling so nervous about my ability to be a parent. Is anyone else already feeling anxious? I feel as though I don't know anything practical about parenting. Most of my close friends don't have children yet, and I was never really interested in looking after infants back in my babysitting heyday (not that babysitting truly gives you insights into parenting, but I think you probably know what I mean). This baby is certainly wanted and I love him or her already, but I am so scared that I will be terrible!

I guess I just feel ill-equipped and I worry so much about my ability to understand the needs of my child. Today, I Googled "What clothes should babies sleep in?" and yesterday it was "How do you know when to feed your baby?" I know it is a misconception, but it feels to me that moms always know what to do, and then here I am trying to figure out what babies are supposed to wear when sleeping!

Maybe I am being overly hard on myself. But I can't seem to shake the overwhelming fears I have about not knowing how to be a parent.

Anyone else experiencing similar thoughts?

 

[pgfairy]

I am right there with you. And I DID do the babysitting infant thing, I've always been around and loved babies. I've changed a million diapers and given bottles (although of course you can't practice breastfeeding so I'm SUPER FREAKED OUT about that) and looked after some really young babies and I don't feel like there is anything in the world that could have prepared me for THIS.

So I hope it's a normal way to feel. It's a little life and I'm trying to look at it this way...what kind of mom would I actually be if I WASN'T super worried about doing it well?

Its nice to know I'm not alone

 

[Pens]

You're definitely not alone, I've googled every stupid question under the sun and been told so many things that I didn't have a clue about! I really want to make sure I'm doing everything right and I think that is a good thing.
I've only ever changed one nappy in my life and I got poo everywhere and whenever I hold other peoples newborns they always seem to cry! I think it'll all come naturally when we have our own though.

 

[luckythirteen]

I feel similarly to pgfairy! I have spent loads of time around children/babies and used to work with them so I have lots of hands on experience, but I think there are some things you just can't learn until you go through it on your own! I am having twins, so I constantly come up with thoughts in my head like how do I get both in and out of the car safely without leaving unsupervised, what's the easiest way to bathe them, take them to the supermarket etc! I'm sure we'll all pick up tips from antenatal classes, midwives and friends along the way, but it'll still be a big learning curve I'm sure!

 

[Ahughes]

I'm nervous too! I worked with infants for over 4 years at a daycare and have had a lot of practice with changing diapers, feeding, etc., but it is different when it's your own! I'm scared I won't know what's wrong with my baby when he/she cries or can't sleep. ugh. But, natural instinct will kick in!

 

[AndiAmsterdam]

Well it does help to know that I am not alone! I'm sure having hands on experience will help...I wish now that I had spent more time with babies!

And I think you're right about instinct as well. Some of it will certainly come naturally, and some of it we'll learn along the way. It's just so scary though going into something so completely life changing while having no idea how to do it!

 

[pirateardnek]

I'm extremely nervous, before getting pregnant I had never held a baby! My brother just had a little one so I held him, but that was after I found out I was pregnant. I just look down at that cute little face and though "Oh crap... I have no clue.."

 

[xakikox]

I feel the same way! I've never changed a diaper, never been around babies, and the sound of crying makes me cringe >< But! I'm going to try and not think about it and focus on health. I figured once I'm far enough along, I'll have enough unsolicited advice from moms, aunts, and random strangers that I'll meet in my prenatal classes that I won't have to worry so much Happy 9 months!

 

[tryn4]

I can put all your fears to rest ladies. You will all be great mom's. The worst thing u can do is over think everything. I was pregnant with my 1st at 19..on my own. No money no home no family no man. It was very scary. At least u guys can Google stuff! I didn't have Internet access or even a phone! Best advice I can give you is just laugh and wing it. After 6 months u guys will be pros! Use common sense, remember that no one is perfect and there is no such thing as a perfect mother. There is also no such thing as a dumb question! This site has so many experienced mums on here where u can get loads of info. The more nervous you are your baby will pick up on that. So if you can try to rope in your fears even a little I guarantee you will have nothing to worry about!

 

[Calcifer]

Oh my Andi I'm the same... was just thinking that today actually... I have no experience with kids, never changed a nappy and have no idea what kids are supposed to wear, how they are supposed to sleep, etc... Let alone what kind of pram, car seat, etc... you need. Yikes... I'll buy a book when things are more settled. And ask my mam

 

[Catiren]

i have little experience with babies and kids, mostly because im a loner but my boyfriend and i decided to try for a baby prior to engagement, and we planned on getting married before baby arrives. i believe he has more hands-on experience with children since his best friend who is 18 has a child of his own and sometimes he helps babysit his friend's son but otherwise, i believe i have more knowledge because i read, hear from my mom, and watch videos for the most part of my experience growing up. i did not ever feel like i was going to be the flawless parent as we make mistakes to learn and ofcourse i plan on making as little of them as possible! but my boyfriend constantly tells me ill be the best mother to all his babies. when i told him i was pregnant, he immediately announced on facebook and to our coworkers and how he was so excited and nervous that he would not be a good enough dad. he's very much calmed down about that and the next step we're doing is taking parenting and birthing classes at our hospital!

 

[Mangos]

So excited for you all. The fact that you are interested in being the best moms that you can be means you WILL be the best moms. Some things will come naturally and you'll be surprised how well you get to know baby early. You will adjust and some nervousness is natural. I was too with my first. In fact I'll be nervous again the second time around too lol.

Some days will be more challenging then others and that's ok. Just never be afraid to ask for help.

Wishing you all wonderful healthy pregnancies!

 

[Ecoden]

I totally googled "what to dress your baby in" too! I'm right there with you girls. I've been reading The Baby Book https://www.amazon.com/The-Baby-Book-Everything-About/dp/1491518235 and it's helped me with a lot of these practical hands on questions and made me feel better. If you're a reader I recommend it.