Flogging a dead horse! Sorry long, but advice welcome!

[BabyB2]

We seem to be encountering one problem after another when it comes to breast feeding. We've struggled for the past 5 weeks and had to use shields to get a latch. This seemed to be going well for the first few weeks, but is now becoming problematic. He isn't feeding efficiently enough, and although he's gaining weight ok this is only because he feeds constantly, but even so my supply is dropping and he's colicky because he is getting the wrong balance of fore and hind milk.

Breastfeeding clinic finally decided about 1 1/2 weeks ago that he may have tongue tie and so referred him to a specialist, but waiting list was 6 weeks long!

Decided to go private. Saw LC today and finally got the tongue-tie diagnosis and division, but this apparently isn't his only obstacle to breast feeding. He has also been diagnosed with high bubble palate and receded jaw, which will also both make latching difficult. She recommended seeing an osteopath as his speedy birth could have resulted in cranial pressures that contributed to the high palate and sinus congestion. Yet more expensive private appointments!

I'm really starting to feel like breast feeding might be doomed for us Don't want to exclusively express like my first pregnancy as I don't want to be and can't afford to be a house bound slave to the pump when I have a 3 year old at home with me 5 days a week!

I will persevere for now and see if the tongue-tie snip helps, but this is soooo tough! Feel like we just can't catch a break!

Any advice?

 

[schmetterling]

I'm so sorry you're having a hard time. I'm afraid I don't have much advice. Hopefully clipping the tie will help. Hang in there!!

 

[New Mrs W]

Not all is lost! A lovely friend of mine had the exact same with her second and is now bf successfully. Shes on here, I'll get her to look at your post x x

 

[BabyB2]

Not all is lost! A lovely friend of mine had the exact same with her second and is now bf successfully. Shes on here, I'll get her to look at your post x x

Thanks! I appreciate the help!

 

[sjminimac]

Hi! Ruth dark marked me in so here I am. Firstly, a massive hug. I actually could have written that myself. I struggled and struggled at first with my little one (second baby, nursed first for 26 months), cried every time he woke up, had to bite down on a muslin square every time I latched him on, was cracked, blistered, bleeding, sore and desperate. Had his latch checked over and over again until I diagnosed (am a bf peer supporter) a posterior tongue tie. Had my mw check, she doubted it, had 2 LCs check - first unsure, second diagnosed Ptt, upper lip tie and bubble palate. This was the thurs, I booked with private LC (milk matters) for the Friday and had the division done on the Saturday when he was exactly 2 weeks old. IMMEDIATE difference. The latch was deeper even If still not right, and he was a lot less...well...chewy!
Night 4 and 5 was bad, restless, and then slowly started to improve. I also took him to CO because he had a receding chin and was so full of tension from a quick birth that if I put him on his back he curled up like a quaver! 3 sessions did the trick, 4th not so much so have stopped that now. His colic calmed at about 9 weeks, with the help of a repeat prescription of Infacol. Feeding now totally painless.
It's a long hard slog and pretty expensive, but worth it mentally, physically, emotionally - and financially in the long run still cheaper than formula. Please pm me if you need any support! Xx

 

[BabyB2]

Hi! Ruth dark marked me in so here I am. Firstly, a massive hug. I actually could have written that myself. I struggled and struggled at first with my little one (second baby, nursed first for 26 months), cried every time he woke up, had to bite down on a muslin square every time I latched him on, was cracked, blistered, bleeding, sore and desperate. Had his latch checked over and over again until I diagnosed (am a bf peer supporter) a posterior tongue tie. Had my mw check, she doubted it, had 2 LCs check - first unsure, second diagnosed Ptt, upper lip tie and bubble palate. This was the thurs, I booked with private LC (milk matters) for the Friday and had the division done on the Saturday when he was exactly 2 weeks old. IMMEDIATE difference. The latch was deeper even If still not right, and he was a lot less...well...chewy!
Night 4 and 5 was bad, restless, and then slowly started to improve. I also took him to CO because he had a receding chin and was so full of tension from a quick birth that if I put him on his back he curled up like a quaver! 3 sessions did the trick, 4th not so much so have stopped that now. His colic calmed at about 9 weeks, with the help of a repeat prescription of Infacol. Feeding now totally painless.
It's a long hard slog and pretty expensive, but worth it mentally, physically, emotionally - and financially in the long run still cheaper than formula. Please pm me if you need any support! Xx

Thank you so much. Perhaps there is light at the end of the tunnel

 

[sjminimac]

Hi! Ruth dark marked me in so here I am. Firstly, a massive hug. I actually could have written that myself. I struggled and struggled at first with my little one (second baby, nursed first for 26 months), cried every time he woke up, had to bite down on a muslin square every time I latched him on, was cracked, blistered, bleeding, sore and desperate. Had his latch checked over and over again until I diagnosed (am a bf peer supporter) a posterior tongue tie. Had my mw check, she doubted it, had 2 LCs check - first unsure, second diagnosed Ptt, upper lip tie and bubble palate. This was the thurs, I booked with private LC (milk matters) for the Friday and had the division done on the Saturday when he was exactly 2 weeks old. IMMEDIATE difference. The latch was deeper even If still not right, and he was a lot less...well...chewy!
Night 4 and 5 was bad, restless, and then slowly started to improve. I also took him to CO because he had a receding chin and was so full of tension from a quick birth that if I put him on his back he curled up like a quaver! 3 sessions did the trick, 4th not so much so have stopped that now. His colic calmed at about 9 weeks, with the help of a repeat prescription of Infacol. Feeding now totally painless.
It's a long hard slog and pretty expensive, but worth it mentally, physically, emotionally - and financially in the long run still cheaper than formula. Please pm me if you need any support! Xx

Thank you so much. Perhaps there is light at the end of the tunnel

There really is, those first few weeks were really dark moments for me, I was in tears constantly and just felt such a failure. I honestly didn't think I'd get through it but with the help as in my original post, ibuprofen (don't fear painkillers) and walking round with my boobs out half man half Lansinoh for a couple of weeks I did get there. Here. If you know what I mean. Don't worry if it feels like two steps forward one back for a while, you'll both have some 'unlearning' to do, you'll have to figure it out, baby will be moving their tongue like its a brand new body part!

 

[BabyB2]

Hi! Ruth dark marked me in so here I am. Firstly, a massive hug. I actually could have written that myself. I struggled and struggled at first with my little one (second baby, nursed first for 26 months), cried every time he woke up, had to bite down on a muslin square every time I latched him on, was cracked, blistered, bleeding, sore and desperate. Had his latch checked over and over again until I diagnosed (am a bf peer supporter) a posterior tongue tie. Had my mw check, she doubted it, had 2 LCs check - first unsure, second diagnosed Ptt, upper lip tie and bubble palate. This was the thurs, I booked with private LC (milk matters) for the Friday and had the division done on the Saturday when he was exactly 2 weeks old. IMMEDIATE difference. The latch was deeper even If still not right, and he was a lot less...well...chewy!
Night 4 and 5 was bad, restless, and then slowly started to improve. I also took him to CO because he had a receding chin and was so full of tension from a quick birth that if I put him on his back he curled up like a quaver! 3 sessions did the trick, 4th not so much so have stopped that now. His colic calmed at about 9 weeks, with the help of a repeat prescription of Infacol. Feeding now totally painless.
It's a long hard slog and pretty expensive, but worth it mentally, physically, emotionally - and financially in the long run still cheaper than formula. Please pm me if you need any support! Xx

Thank you so much. Perhaps there is light at the end of the tunnel

There really is, those first few weeks were really dark moments for me, I was in tears constantly and just felt such a failure. I honestly didn't think I'd get through it but with the help as in my original post, ibuprofen (don't fear painkillers) and walking round with my boobs out half man half Lansinoh for a couple of weeks I did get there. Here. If you know what I mean. Don't worry if it feels like two steps forward one back for a while, you'll both have some 'unlearning' to do, you'll have to figure it out, baby will be moving their tongue like its a brand new body part!

I've noticed that already. He now seems a little confused by the breast shields. It must feel so different for him. There have been many tears from me too. You can't help but feel like you're letting them down in some way can you? I have to keep reminding myself that I'm trying my best and that's all I can do, and try to feel positive and praise myself for each week I continue. DH has struggled to deal with my tears. I don't think he understands why it is so important to me that I breastfeed. My mum and MIL both think I should just switch to FF "for my own sanity". Ut can be hard to stay focused with so much opposition!

 

[sjminimac]

Oh yes! Even the other day I got 'has she thought about putting him on the bottle yet, she's got no quality of life'. Are you kidding me? Just because he's a frequent feeder. I didn't react very well to that one. My mum also asked me why I was bothering. Nice. Just keep your chins up and your chest out - you WILL nail it. And kudos to you for lasting this long before the division.

 

[New Mrs W]

I've noticed that already. He now seems a little confused by the breast shields. It must feel so different for him. There have been many tears from me too. You can't help but feel like you're letting them down in some way can you? I have to keep reminding myself that I'm trying my best and that's all I can do, and try to feel positive and praise myself for each week I continue. DH has struggled to deal with my tears. I don't think he understands why it is so important to me that I breastfeed. My mum and MIL both think I should just switch to FF "for my own sanity". Ut can be hard to stay focused with so much opposition!

It really is hard to stay focused. I really don't think husbands get it. My baby didn't have tt but did struggle to stay latched for the first couple of weeks which meant CO for us and several visits to LCs. Then once he'd figured that out it was like he was making up for lost time and he fed almost constantly until about 10 weeks. And I have my nearly three year old to care for too! I honestly think my husband just wanted things to be better for me, Frankie and Mickey and he kept trying to push me to ff. I have no problem with ff, I ended up ff my eldest but I did regret that and was very upset about it for a long time afterwards. I felt hurt that he could suggest that I stop bf (even with our best interests at heart) when he saw first hand how upset I was after I stopped first time round. If this is what you really want to do then stick with it. You will be so proud of yourself and, of course, the benefits of bf to baby are immeasurable. Good luck xx

 

[IrelandsOwn]

BabyB2, I have a similar story. My daughter has a bubble palate and had anterior and posterior TTs. She also has an uneven jaw due to being overdue which made her a chomper. OUCH! There's nothing worse than seeing your baby spit up pink milk because your nipples are bleeding. I know how hard it is to keep going and I'm sorry your family isn't being supportive. It sounds like you know what's best for your baby though. After India's last TT procedure I really didn't notice much of a difference in her latch but within about 10 days my nipples started to heal. Now, 10 weeks into BFing it's completely painless. Everyone told me it would get better but I never really thought it would. I thought she had too many problems with her mouth. But it DID get better. It took around seven weeks but now we're both so relaxed that we regularly fall asleep nursing. I honestly thought I'd never see the day. Hang in there. And if you need any support just PM me

 

[IrelandsOwn]

Also, HUGE CONGRATS on bfing for five weeks under your circumstances! Where is your blinkie???

 

[BabyB2]

BabyB2, I have a similar story. My daughter has a bubble palate and had anterior and posterior TTs. She also has an uneven jaw due to being overdue which made her a chomper. OUCH! There's nothing worse than seeing your baby spit up pink milk because your nipples are bleeding. I know how hard it is to keep going and I'm sorry your family isn't being supportive. It sounds like you know what's best for your baby though. After India's last TT procedure I really didn't notice much of a difference in her latch but within about 10 days my nipples started to heal. Now, 10 weeks into BFing it's completely painless. Everyone told me it would get better but I never really thought it would. I thought she had too many problems with her mouth. But it DID get better. It took around seven weeks but now we're both so relaxed that we regularly fall asleep nursing. I honestly thought I'd never see the day. Hang in there. And if you need any support just PM me

Thanks so much. It's lovely to have such a good source of support on here!

 

[BabyB2]

It took a while to get a firm tongue-tie diagnosis. I'm a little cross as a midwife said she thought he might have one before we were discharged from hospital, but then the paediatrician said there was nothing wrong with his tongue. Really wish I'd have gone with the mw first instincts and got it checked out sooner

 

[IrelandsOwn]

It took a while to get a firm tongue-tie diagnosis. I'm a little cross as a midwife said she thought he might have one before we were discharged from hospital, but then the paediatrician said there was nothing wrong with his tongue. Really wish I'd have gone with the mw first instincts and got it checked out sooner

I took India to an ENT who snipped her anterior tongue tie. Later that day I met with an IBCLC who said she still had the posterior one. She rang the ENT while I was there (he is the head of ENT in a local children's hospital) and read him the riot act. He basically said that a posterior tongue tie is no big deal, in that it doesn't cause speech/dental problems. But for BFing it's an absolute nightmare! So I ended up taking her to a pedi who specializes in TTs only in how they relate to BFing and had him snip it. It always pays to get a second opinion!

 

[Care76]

So sorry you are going through this. We had a similar start, tongue tie, lip tie, and hypertonicity from being overdue with cord around his neck 3 times and then CS. Honestly I did notice some difference when my son first had his tongue tie released, but it was still painful and he screamed all the time for months. Turns out it wasn't released far enough back, so it was done 2 more times because of reattachment and then things got much better. We do still have some nipple pain, but nothing like it was and I suspect it is his lip tie which wasn't released.

In order to help with his hypertonicity we took him to craniosacral therapy. It worked wonders fit him! I highly recommend it if you can find somebody who specializes or works with a lot of babies. The high pallet should fix itself with the tongue tie released I believe.

Just know you are not alone and it can get better!

 

[BabyB2]

My milk supply is definitely decreasing, particularly in my right breast. I took baby to be weighed yesterday and he is no longer gaining as he should. It was very upsetting! They recommended that I speak to my gp about starting domperidone medication to boost my supply. I am also trying to increase the number of times I express each day. Despite this though I am needing to top up with formula, which I'm not thrilled about, but I really need to get his weight back on track. My feeding schedule is grueling though. First I breastfeed on both sides with shields and spend some time trying to latch without shields, then top him up with expressed milk, then if he's still hungry I give him some formula, then I have to get on the pump and drain both breasts to boost supply. Not sure how long I can keep this up! I don't feel like I have time to look after myself properly and make sure I'm eating and drinking well (vital for my supply!) let alone meet the needs of my 3 year old This is not the life I imagined having with my children. I want to enjoy my new baby, but I'm not, and I feel awful thinking this way

 

[Care76]

I am taking domperidone and it helps tremendously. I also take fenugreek.

 

[BabyB2]

I am taking domperidone and it helps tremendously. I also take fenugreek.

I really hope my gp gives it to me and that it works. I'm doing everything I can already, I just need some extra help! If it comes down to it, it should be possible to feed from one breast shouldn't it? Women with twins can breastfeed, so it must be!

 

[New Mrs W]