FOB brought LO a puppy?!

[LJaydow]

So, FOB brings LO back today and says "sorry we are late, he was just picking out his puppy" - He lives in an upstairs flat and has no garden etc.

We are going to be in court soon sorting out a residence order/contact etc as he has threatened not to give LO back on numerous occasions and says that I am not a good mother. I phoned NSPCC and they have said they have no concerns for me, but are going to look into his conduct around me and LO and have said in the meantime to seek legal advice etc

I am VERY unhappy about the prospect of LO being around a dog - the puppy is from his brother who doesnt really care for much, and I dont think for one second it will be looked after or walked and I dont know when he proposes it is going to go to the toilet or where

Do you think there is anything that I can do to prevent something terrible happening? I think eventually I will be stopping FOB seeing LO until contact is sorted out anyway but its a worry - Dont know if im over reacting!

 

[teal]

It doesn't sound like he's thought it through too well. Means when your LO is visiting he'll have to be taken down all those stairs whenever the dog needs out. I know plenty of people are absolutely fine with a dog in a flat but if your worried the dog won't be looked after it could get serious quickly.

I personally wouldn't be happy, I don't have any issues with dogs but I would need to be there to see what temperament the dog has, make sure my son doesn't annoy it, etc.

Seems a bit reckless his brother just giving an animal as a gift.

Hope you're ok xx

 

[Liesje]

I have 3 dogs and no garden and it's not a problem. Puppies are a lot easier to acclimate to children than older dogs.

 

[Ceejay123]

I love my dog - I don't condone having one without a garden, but I personally don't know if/how this man will look after it. Having a dog alone wouldn't scare me though - I have one and she's brilliant with my LO. She was 4 months when he arrived. x

 

[Dezireey]

Depends which dog he's got and depends as you've said, how it gets treated. I would be concerned for LO if he has got a breed of dog that's not usually good around kids and also if it gets mistreated and/ or neglected. If it's e.g. a Labrador like mine and it's loving and looked after, don't worry. The dog/ baby rule always applies though no matter what dog you have ' never leave a baby and a dog alone in a room together'.

 

[Kate&Lucas]

If he treats his own child like a pawn, I'd be very concerned how he treats a dumb animal - particularly a potentially dangerous animal that will spend time around LO.
I don't understand why an 18 month old needs a puppy?

I'm sorry I don't have any advice with regards to keeping LO safe from a dog attack (Lucas is allergic so I won't have a dog in the house), but if I felt I couldn't trust FOB to keep him safe he simply wouldn't have unsupervised contact.

 

[tooyoung]

I don't think there's anything wrong with him getting a dog. I think a dog is a wonderful thing for a child.
If you have a concern about possible issues with the dog (not sure what kind it is) then you will have to bring these issues up with him. Your child is your concern, not whether there is a garden for the dog to 'go' in so if I was you, I wouldn't even mention that. Just keep it about your LO.

 

[LJaydow]

Its a border collie cross with something poodly, I cant remember the other dogs breed.

FOB had dogs with his ex wife and they peed and poo'd on the floor uring the day because they were not let out, and it was not cleaned up very well!

I am more concerned about FOB's supervising LO - He had a cows milk protein intollerance and somehow despite 4 people being in the room LO managed to climb up onto a kitchen chair and get a packet of milk buttons, FOB has a spare room yet even though LO WAS sleeping ok on his own he put him in the room with him and his GF and once in the bed with him and his GF and he has hit his head a few times. FOB lies about all of the above, or tells my parents and his friends and not me etc, so I trust him as far as I can throw him.

I am starting court proceedings in the next few days with regards to contact (FOB every week changes the days and times and always brings him back late) and this is just another thing to worry about. I dont know already if I am doing the right thing by him seeing LO let alone with a potentially nippy young dog

 

[Liesje]

If he treats his own child like a pawn, I'd be very concerned how he treats a dumb animal - particularly a potentially dangerous animal that will spend time around LO.
I don't understand why an 18 month old needs a puppy?

I'm sorry I don't have any advice with regards to keeping LO safe from a dog attack (Lucas is allergic so I won't have a dog in the house), but if I felt I couldn't trust FOB to keep him safe he simply wouldn't have unsupervised contact.

After seeing my son interact with our dogs, I don't understand how a small child can be without a dog... He's only 6 months old but spends hours a day petting them, cuddling them, giggling at them, etc. If he cries they come running to see what's wrong and as soon as they start nuzzling and sniffing him, he giggles again. It's really amazing to watch how much he loves them even though he obviously has no clue about anything in life yet.
There have even been studies which proved that having a dog in the home at birth prevents allergies, asthma and builds a stronger immune system.

 

[Kate&Lucas]

If he treats his own child like a pawn, I'd be very concerned how he treats a dumb animal - particularly a potentially dangerous animal that will spend time around LO.
I don't understand why an 18 month old needs a puppy?

I'm sorry I don't have any advice with regards to keeping LO safe from a dog attack (Lucas is allergic so I won't have a dog in the house), but if I felt I couldn't trust FOB to keep him safe he simply wouldn't have unsupervised contact.

After seeing my son interact with our dogs, I don't understand how a small child can be without a dog... He's only 6 months old but spends hours a day petting them, cuddling them, giggling at them, etc. If he cries they come running to see what's wrong and as soon as they start nuzzling and sniffing him, he giggles again. It's really amazing to watch how much he loves them even though he obviously has no clue about anything in life yet.
There have even been studies which proved that having a dog in the home at birth prevents allergies, asthma and builds a stronger immune system.

Having grown up with dogs I feel entirely different. I'm interested by the studies regarding allergies and asthma though (definitely not the case in my family - though we had cats too, I wonder if they counteracted the benefit of the dogs? ) Anyhoo - going way off-topic!

Hope the court proceedings go smoothly OP. If you're concerned about his wellbeing overall you could have your solicitor request access at a contact centre until proper access or a residency order sorted out?

 

[Liesje]

If he treats his own child like a pawn, I'd be very concerned how he treats a dumb animal - particularly a potentially dangerous animal that will spend time around LO.
I don't understand why an 18 month old needs a puppy?

I'm sorry I don't have any advice with regards to keeping LO safe from a dog attack (Lucas is allergic so I won't have a dog in the house), but if I felt I couldn't trust FOB to keep him safe he simply wouldn't have unsupervised contact.

After seeing my son interact with our dogs, I don't understand how a small child can be without a dog... He's only 6 months old but spends hours a day petting them, cuddling them, giggling at them, etc. If he cries they come running to see what's wrong and as soon as they start nuzzling and sniffing him, he giggles again. It's really amazing to watch how much he loves them even though he obviously has no clue about anything in life yet.
There have even been studies which proved that having a dog in the home at birth prevents allergies, asthma and builds a stronger immune system.

Having grown up with dogs I feel entirely different. I'm interested by the studies regarding allergies and asthma though (definitely not the case in my family - though we had cats too, I wonder if they counteracted the benefit of the dogs? ) Anyhoo - going way off-topic!

Hope the court proceedings go smoothly OP. If you're concerned about his wellbeing overall you could have your solicitor request access at a contact centre until proper access or a residency order sorted out?

Yup... Cats weren't as useful lol

https://healthland.time.com/2012/06/20/why-having-a-dog-may-keep-kids-asthma-free/
https://news.discovery.com/human/dog-asthma-child-pet-home-dust-immune-120620.html
https://www.medicaldaily.com/articles/10406/20120622/dogs-asthma-allergy-children.htm

I personally think the health and developmental benefits that dogs offer totally outweigh the risks of a few puppy nips here and there.

 

[Kate&Lucas]

TY for the links!